Helio_Helio
Please treat me kindly... Thank you
- Jun 23, 2024
- 5
Hi... This is my first post here, but I've been a lurker since ~5 years ago.
In short: I'm thinking of going today, but I still have doubts.
I used to be less afraid of committing since I was genuinely trapped inside a severely abusive place, and I couldn't commit just because I was monitored 24/7. But now that I've ran out of there, I've found myself to feel more uncertain about it.
I'm not afraid of ending up as a vegetable, since consider that as good as dead. There's no one I care that would be troubled if I do end up so, they can do whatever they want with my body.
I just feel bad about it, since I've known friends who've hammered in the idea that suicide is cringey, which I don't agree with, but I'm very prone and weak to shame. Shame is often something that actually stops me from doing anything, no matter what it is.
I'm 21 so far, and I know people would tell me that I'm still young and have time, but I've been dealt quite a bad hand in life and I'm simply tired.
Ending my life has been a thought in my mind for so long now, I don't even feel that sadness needs to be a reason to commit.
I guess I would appreciate some conversation, I don't mind any kind of questions.
In short: I'm thinking of going today, but I still have doubts.
I used to be less afraid of committing since I was genuinely trapped inside a severely abusive place, and I couldn't commit just because I was monitored 24/7. But now that I've ran out of there, I've found myself to feel more uncertain about it.
I'm not afraid of ending up as a vegetable, since consider that as good as dead. There's no one I care that would be troubled if I do end up so, they can do whatever they want with my body.
I just feel bad about it, since I've known friends who've hammered in the idea that suicide is cringey, which I don't agree with, but I'm very prone and weak to shame. Shame is often something that actually stops me from doing anything, no matter what it is.
I'm 21 so far, and I know people would tell me that I'm still young and have time, but I've been dealt quite a bad hand in life and I'm simply tired.
Ending my life has been a thought in my mind for so long now, I don't even feel that sadness needs to be a reason to commit.
I guess I would appreciate some conversation, I don't mind any kind of questions.
