Uh oh. I was actually gonna ask earlier if you failed, since Ik you sent a goodbye. I'm sorry for whatever happened regarding that.
Also, while it's true that people might laugh at you, I'm just saying now that they aren't real people. Ik saying this is not gonna change your perspective on how people view you, but honestly it's a good reason to just further your bitterness for humanity.
And take a second to take a deep breath about the failed attempt(I'm assuming it's from lack of courage but I'm not sure). It's not an easy thing, and it will take a few tries, be it to talk yourself into or to actually succeed. If you need to, take some time to further prepare for your next attempt, whether it be planning on how to prevent your SI from winning, or to simply muster the needed strength.
And hey, while it's not the best sanctum, we are here for you while you're still kickin. Let us know if you need anything okie.