I’m terminal and I want a peaceful passing

[edensend]

I'm 18 and I live in an abusive home. I've been very sick for years and i recently found out I'll pass away from a genetic disease. My family won't care for me so i've been affected by neglect greatly. I don't want to pass away and suffer neglect at the same time, so i decided to ctb. I'm just not sure how to do it as i'm bedbound and very weak, my plan was to hang myself on a construction site as my neighborhood is newly built/ still being built. I don't think i'm strong enough to make it out the door alone so i'm wondering if anyone could help me somehow. I'm so scared of hospice and i'd rather just go this way,but i'm scared of this too

 

[JustHere1]

With your condition being terminal you could potentially acquire the services of assisted suicide in the countries that allow it, but it's a lengthy process from what I've heard and very expensive. You could try to find someone to CTB with you but it could be difficult to do so. Have you viewed the CTB method megathread? Maybe you can purchase a gun (claim needed for self defense, don't feel safe because of medical issues and living location maybe if they ask?) if you can, or acquire SN though that requires a lot of research in advance. There is carbon monoxide method if you have a car. Jumping certainly, maybe you could uber to a location for it? Hanging definitely easier but can be daunting, so if you can acquire some medication to help while you do that (maybe from doctors that work with you if you have any) the process can go by easier.

You can potentially work on a will or write a declaration for end-of-life treatment (or lack of) - those in hospice can choose to take pain medication until they naturally pass if it's severe. That's how my grandmother went, ovarian cancer final stage. Not the best way but she was almost always asleep. I would research backups if you end up needing to. Best of luck.

 

[dontwakemeup]

I would suggest reaching out to your doctors office and ask to speak with the social worker immediately. Share your concerns above and depending on your insurance you may qualify for a nurse and aide visits. My friend mother died at home and she died in peace.

Don't fear hospice, it's a great program that can help and assist you. They can bring you medical supplies, bed, tables, and they focus on pain management and whatever will help make you comfortable.

I'm sorry your family is treating you like this, you certainly don't deserve this! You have a right to dignity and resend most of all love and understanding during this time. If u need more advice or help imalways here

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds so horrible, it's so cruel to me how there's all this immense suffering in existing. But anyway I wish you the best, I hope you find the peace you search for.

 

[J&L383]

I'm 18 and I live in an abusive home. I've been very sick for years and i recently found out I'll pass away from a genetic disease. My family won't care for me so i've been affected by neglect greatly. I don't want to pass away and suffer neglect at the same time, so i decided to ctb. I'm just not sure how to do it as i'm bedbound and very weak, my plan was to hang myself on a construction site as my neighborhood is newly built/ still being built. I don't think i'm strong enough to make it out the door alone so i'm wondering if anyone could help me somehow. I'm so scared of hospice and i'd rather just go this way,but i'm scared of this too

I would not discount hospice care. They do very good with palliative care and pain management. And if you do qualify for hospice then you should qualify for MAID (medical aid in dying), assuming you're in a US state or country that has it. I'm sorry your life is coming to an end at such a young age.

 

[jokster18]

I am terminal also , I need to end it as soon as possible. Would anyone advise going to Columbia in search of N or that will be to difficult for a sick person. I'm can't hang my self. I'm suffering very badly and I really need to go as soon as possible. I don't know how much longer I can take this I am with my parents now. I have a car and garadge but they are always home. Is there any way I can do this with out a garadge just the cars do emits carmine monoxide I had a generator I was planning to use. My friend talked me out of it . I'm am In very bad position now. My friend is sick we want to go to Columbia I don't know if we can find N and im getting worse every day.

 

[wanttodie456]

I'm so sorry you are in this position. No one deserves to be abused and neglected by their family. You deserve to live your final time being loved and treated well and if that's not possible, at the very least, you deserve a peaceful exit.

I know I'm just a stranger on the internet but just know that someone is thinking of you sending and sending some loving energy your way. My guinea pigs are as well. If you are ever able to, I recommend spending some time with animals. They really do help a person feel better even if only for a limited time.

 

[AshClouds]

I'm 18 and I live in an abusive home. I've been very sick for years and i recently found out I'll pass away from a genetic disease. My family won't care for me so i've been affected by neglect greatly. I don't want to pass away and suffer neglect at the same time, so i decided to ctb. I'm just not sure how to do it as i'm bedbound and very weak, my plan was to hang myself on a construction site as my neighborhood is newly built/ still being built. I don't think i'm strong enough to make it out the door alone so i'm wondering if anyone could help me somehow. I'm so scared of hospice and i'd rather just go this way,but i'm scared of this too

hospice care is a place that lets you die peacefully, they give you sedatives and medication to reduce the amount of suffering before you pass.

I'm sorry you had a painful life. I really wish you the best.

 

[sorrynormal]

hospice care is a place that lets you die peacefully, they give you sedatives and medication to reduce the amount of suffering before you pass.

They've cut pain meds from hospice too due to opiate hysteria. I wouldn't get your hopes up. Once you are in hospice you are 100% a prisoner and leaving will be near impossible. Go on /r/chronicpain and see all the people NOT getting pain meds.

 

[J&L383]

In terms of hospice care, it may vary considerably depending on the state or facility (much of hospice care is at home, sometimes there are standalone facilities) that you're in. Which is unfortunate, and very unfair! I volunteer at a hospice in Oregon and they've integrating MAID into hospice care (so you can "CTB" without leaving the facility).

I haven't heard that you can find N in Columbia, just Peru, and even then it's becoming difficult.