Doemu
⸸ I am my own end ⸸
- Feb 4, 2024
- 223
When i read why people want to CTB here, i see that i share the most of reasons once and another.
Why if others can understand when is enought pain to say that they are done, i have been tryharding once and another?
Why i'm so stupid that i couldn't just stop?
When i see people to CTB i'm jealous, when i see people try to CTB and fail, i'm jealous too.
I should have tried to kill me more, even if i was going to fail. Almost someone had to fake to care about me.
I was blind. Use to thought that i only need to learn to handle with all. The only thing i earn, is suffer for all.
I really regret don't have tried to kill me more, but this is a promise to my self. I won't regret not having enought trials.
I'm so stupid that i wana die.
I'm so stupid that i don't wana live with the shame of still being alive.
I should have killed my self once and another, and another, and another, and another, an another...
Maybe was because i wanted to kill my self from very young, that i could be used to It.
I had most of the reasons, everytime. I missed the chances. I'm so used to want kill my self, that It stoped to feel a reasonable reason to CTB. It's like: Oh, like always.
What reason more i need?
What i'm waiting for?
Obviusly no one cares enought about me to kill me, so i have to do It my self.
The day i finally CTB, will be my redention for being so stupid, or i will being ridiculous even after my dead?
Now that i had found my way, i feel so lost, i have been so lost.
Why if others can understand when is enought pain to say that they are done, i have been tryharding once and another?
Why i'm so stupid that i couldn't just stop?
When i see people to CTB i'm jealous, when i see people try to CTB and fail, i'm jealous too.
I should have tried to kill me more, even if i was going to fail. Almost someone had to fake to care about me.
I was blind. Use to thought that i only need to learn to handle with all. The only thing i earn, is suffer for all.
I really regret don't have tried to kill me more, but this is a promise to my self. I won't regret not having enought trials.
I'm so stupid that i wana die.
I'm so stupid that i don't wana live with the shame of still being alive.
I should have killed my self once and another, and another, and another, and another, an another...
Maybe was because i wanted to kill my self from very young, that i could be used to It.
I had most of the reasons, everytime. I missed the chances. I'm so used to want kill my self, that It stoped to feel a reasonable reason to CTB. It's like: Oh, like always.
What reason more i need?
What i'm waiting for?
Obviusly no one cares enought about me to kill me, so i have to do It my self.
The day i finally CTB, will be my redention for being so stupid, or i will being ridiculous even after my dead?
Now that i had found my way, i feel so lost, i have been so lost.
