Discussion im starting to fall for a girl but im ctb this month...

[exitsimulation]

ive met a girl we have only known eachother 3 days but we flirt none stop, shes stunning we love all the same music and both have borderline personality disorder and ptsd but shes really together considering and quite grounded. her boyfriends a wasteman and she knows it but he's clocked on to us flirting and wont leave her side. i wear my heart on my sleave and this girls perfect all i want before i go is to be with a girl again. im feeling so depressed today idk what to do if i could end it today i would but ive got 2 weeks to go. if i got with her could she change my mind about dying? idk... i wish i could just end it know i know its gonna fuck up its been so long since ive led in bed with a girl a really like im talking like 6 months. shes going to tattoo me next week and her bf wont be there so ill see...cant get her off my mind lol

 

[FuneralCry]

I guess that only you know if ctb is the right thing for yourself, it's a personal decision. Best wishes in whatever happens.

 

[iwanttodie1]

Try ur luck with her you've got nothing to lose anyway if ur gonna ctb eventually

 

[Smart No More]

Don't overlook the fact that your actions could have a big impact on her if you get involved.

 

[abyss]

I think you should tread carefully, you might have fun with this girl but with you both having BPD and PTSD things are a lot more complicated. She could easily just change her mind and decide she doesn't want anything to do with you which would hurt you immensely. I know this because it happened to me recently and I almost certainly have BPD too. You can't build your happiness on other people because it will crumble like a house of cards and you will be left with nothing when things end. If you are thinking about possibly changing your mind about CTB, great, but relationships are fleeting, you should try to find stability and happiness in yourself first, which takes a lot of time, self-reflection and willingness to help yourself. And you need to consider the impact on the girl too, you being suicidal and actively thinking about CTB, it's not fair on her if she does like you, especially given her disorders and PTSD, you could end up hurting her a lot too. I know there is a tendency to put your eggs in one basket as if this one potential love could solve your problems but that's not the way things work. I would advise you to slow down and think and avoid any impulsive action. I wish you the best regardless.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I went all in on a crazy person and destroyed my life but Sounds like you have nothing to lose

 

[summers]

@exitsimulation regardless of everything that's been said, and all the flirting, chances are you are just going to be a sidepiece. She's with someone. He knows, and isn't cool with her messaging you. If she were going to make you her main dude, she would break up with the other guy. Doesn't sound like she has any plan to.

Here's something to consider - does she live with the other guy? If so, could she afford to live on her own if they broke up?

It's fine to pursue something with her. You don't owe her bf anything, and if he was laying it down like he should, she wouldn't be looking. But have some very real expectations of what's going to come out of this. Don't let bpd cloud your judgement into thinking there is going to be some fairy tale ending.

Oh, and if getting a gf is enough for you not to ctb - you should REALLY reconsider. You saw how easy it was to find her, you can find someone else if things don't work out.

 

[exitsimulation]

I think you should tread carefully, you might have fun with this girl but with you both having BPD and PTSD things are a lot more complicated. She could easily just change her mind and decide she doesn't want anything to do with you which would hurt you immensely. I know this because it happened to me recently and I almost certainly have BPD too. You can't build your happiness on other people because it will crumble like a house of cards and you will be left with nothing when things end. If you are thinking about possibly changing your mind about CTB, great, but relationships are fleeting, you should try to find stability and happiness in yourself first, which takes a lot of time, self-reflection and willingness to help yourself. And you need to consider the impact on the girl too, you being suicidal and actively thinking about CTB, it's not fair on her if she does like you, especially given her disorders and PTSD, you could end up hurting her a lot too. I know there is a tendency to put your eggs in one basket as if this one potential love could solve your problems but that's not the way things work. I would advise you to slow down and think and avoid any impulsive action. I wish you the best regardless.

thank you for the reply man, everything you said is true and im very aware of all of this, i have to ctb because of the chronic pain and neuroligical disease so i cant change my mind but ive been secluded in pain in my room for years basically and im so lonely. i used to be a dj and have a succesful and happy life but since my accident ive been alone in agony for years i just need to have sex with a nice fit girl again lol i cant go out without having a good shag especially when ive been secluded for so long lol i might be being a bit selfish idk but im at the end of my life and i deserve a good shag with a sexy girl before i die lol :P you speak some wisdom bro and i know what you mean. soz if im not making sense im very srunk and high rn :P

Don't overlook the fact that your actions could have a big impact on her if you get involved.

i know but i wont be here to see them ;)

@exitsimulation regardless of everything that's been said, and all the flirting, chances are you are just going to be a sidepiece. She's with someone. He knows, and isn't cool with her messaging you. If she were going to make you her main dude, she would break up with the other guy. Doesn't sound like she has any plan to.

Here's something to consider - does she live with the other guy? If so, could she afford to live on her own if they broke up?

It's fine to pursue something with her. You don't owe her bf anything, and if he was laying it down like he should, she wouldn't be looking. But have some very real expectations of what's going to come out of this. Don't let bpd cloud your judgement into thinking there is going to be some fairy tale ending.

Oh, and if getting a gf is enough for you not to ctb - you should REALLY reconsider. You saw how easy it was to find her, you can find someone else if things don't work out.

its been 3 days ive known her lol and her bf has been here the whole time and within that time ive got her number shes messaging me and she brushed her ass agains my...you know so ofc she hasnt left her bf in that timeframe lol cut she clearly wants me bad and im not looking for long term shit im going to be dead soon anyway fuck it

 

[summers]

its been 3 days ive known her lol and her bf has been here the whole time and within that time ive got her number shes messaging me and she brushed her ass agains my...you know so ofc she hasnt left her bf in that timeframe lol cut she clearly wants me bad and im not looking for long term shit im going to be dead soon anyway fuck it

You're in bro. Just go for it - she already gave you the green light

 

[exitsimulation]

You're in bro. Just go for it - she already gave you the green light

haha thanks bro her bf wont fuck off lol! and he's clocked on hard lol now out of the blue hes taking her to his parents house lol he doesnt want her in the house with me (we live in a shared house)

 

[blackwidow]

what do you have to lose??? nothing by the sounds of it.. just go for the tattoo and see what happens.. just because you are on here and want to ctb doesn't mean that what ever happens next you have to stand rigid with your decision.. you. May find love and live a happy fulfilled life.. or it maybe a disaster.. but if you don't try you won't find out. Good luck!