I'm staring at my shotgun laid on my bed, wishing I had someone to pull the trigger for me.. I know I have to do it but fuck I don't want to do it. I know it's the only way out but I wish I would get Scotty beam me up'ed.
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I have access to firearms also and know it would be a pretty 100% CTB method but it is too messy for me.
Sittichmutter
Student
- Sep 16, 2021
- 164
If you do not want to do It. Just put the gun away. Do not be harsh on yourself.
atonofdespair24
Never enough
- May 2, 2022
- 30
It's such a shit-show of an internal conflict. On my lowest days I've sat there, bawling, with the barrel in my mouth practicing with it empty. I know there will be a day where im so low i wont be able to help it. I dont know if I want to wait for that day or save myself the pain and do it before that.
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 42,613
The gun method sounds terrifying to me personally. I think that if I had one I wouldn't be able to go through with it as I would fear it going wrong in someway. If only there was a way to just peacefully pass away in our sleep, that would be ideal. I hope that in whatever happens, you find relief from your suffering.
atonofdespair24
Never enough
- May 2, 2022
- 30
After seeing a video of someone using a shotgun to ctb, I'm fairly certain if pointed in the right direction there's no doubt it will work. I used to be terrified of it too but I think I'm so disconnected now I just don't care. But yeah, if I could just never wake up after falling asleep id be so happy
I bought a very nice shiny .357 just for this purpose and I couldn't manage to do it.
Darkover
Archangel
- Jul 29, 2021
- 5,479
much more better options sn for instance its cheap like 100usd at most
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