Venting im spiraling again.

[silentgoodbye]

my stomach feels sick right now and i can't handle all the stress. i've been suffering for so long and hanging myself in the closet sounds amazing. this adult life is not for me and i've come to terms with that. i've failed to ctb before and i can't fail this time. every second that i'm here is a second too long. i miss her. i miss my friends. and i'll never see them again. i'll just cherish and reflect and when the time comes for me to do it i'll do it. i need to get over the fear of hanging. can someone help me overcome the fear please? anyway i'm just rambling and i'm at peace with my decision.

 

[FuneralCry]

The hanging method scares me as well, I really wish we didn't have to struggle so much to leave this existence, I find it cruel how there isn't the option to just fall into an eternal sleep. But anyway I hope that you eventually find freedom from your suffering.

 

[Silent Raindrops]

No matter which method you choose, that fear will always be right there beside you. This is not an easy task, if it were, all of us would already be gone.

I still have a few weeks left before I head out to my spot, and the fear of failing haunts me daily.