I'm sorry...

[St. Jimmy]

The regret;
The sadness;
The depression;
The loneliness;
The hurt...

is really strong tonight.

I just needed somewhere to put it.

I'm not okay.

I'm sorry.

 

[Nem]

Omg I'm sorry to hear! I'm right with you, I'm falling apart right now as well
Peace/hugs

 

[St. Jimmy]

Omg I'm sorry to hear! I'm right with you, I'm falling apart right now as well
Peace/hugs

Thank you. I'm sorry that you're in the same boat.

I don't know why it's like this right now. I guess it's one of those moments where everything feels 'okay' (I suppose?) for a bit, then it all just comes out. I just miss him so much.

I wish I could tell him how sorry I am. How much I love him. I hate myself so much for the terrible choices that I've made. I know it sounds like cliche whining and complaining, but jesus christ. I have never felt like this about anybody before.

It's honestly too bad that I'm not at my favorite hotel right now. I feel that I could go through with ctbing.

 

[St. Jimmy]

I don't know why, but everytime I get close to falling asleep, my anxiety kicks me awake. I feel like something is so wrong. I don't know why.

I hate this.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

Same. I felt an impulse to hang myself... Hope you get better.

 

[Shinbu]

Yesterday I had the strongest urge to ctb. It happened early in the day I can relate immensely.

 

[Erase.myself]

I am so sorry that you are in so much pain and missing someone that you love. That can feel incredibly unbearable. I unfortunately can relate. Sending you so many hugs.

 

[Nolye]

I'm sorry you feel like this, but know that you're not alone. I'm in the same boat as you. I don't have any advice for making you feel better, but I'm sending you a virtual hug.

 

[St. Jimmy]

Thank you so much, everyone. I took some muscle relaxers and tried to sleep. I ended up waking up 15 minutes before I had to be in to work, which is difficult to get out of bed for as it is. So that wasn't the best feeling.

Sigh. I hope my letter reaches him, not only to his house, but to his heart. I need him so much.