Venting I'm so unlucky it hurts

[lwlaiet8887]

Just venting but damn has my life been painful and I can't stop thinking about how misfortunate I am. I really wish I could live but my body is just too messed up for me to continue. I have an extremly lanky body my father was 6'2 my mother was 5'5 I unfortunately turned out 5'7 with my father's same frame. I can't wear clothes comfortably, I look sickly/anorexic, I can't excel at sports which is the only thing I enjoy in life, no one wants to associate with me and I've been bullied my whole life for my appearance. It's depressing as I was always so optimistic as a child, extremly depressed as a teenager and in recent years I tried to make something of my life but it was futile. Life is just so unfair, I have a very close friend (of many years) from a similar background as mine and he's doing well in life (he has everything), we're like dual opposites. Last time I spoke to him he got frustrated because I told him I had given up on life and that my circumstances were horrible, life is truly made for winners they're too blind to see the folley of losers. I don't enjoy anything anymore because everything just feels pointless and I'm just sitting around waiting to end it (Once I get paid). Seriously, fuck this shitty existence I can't wait to go. Fortunately I have done everything worth doing so it's not like I'll be missing out on anything not that there was much in my future.

 

[Aries]

❤

 

[dyingslowly]

Just venting but damn has my life been painful and I can't stop thinking about how misfortunate I am. I really wish I could live but my body is just too messed up for me to continue. I have an extremly lanky body my father was 6'2 my mother was 5'5 I unfortunately turned out 5'7 with my father's same frame. I can't wear clothes comfortably, I look sickly/anorexic, I can't excel at sports which is the only thing I enjoy in life, no one wants to associate with me and I've been bullied my whole life for my appearance. It's depressing as I was always so optimistic as a child, extremly depressed as a teenager and in recent years I tried to make something of my life but it was futile. Life is just so unfair, I have a very close friend (of many years) from a similar background as mine and he's doing well in life (he has everything), we're like dual opposites. Last time I spoke to him he got frustrated because I told him I had given up on life and that my circumstances were horrible, life is truly made for winners they're too blind to see the folley of losers. I don't enjoy anything anymore because everything just feels pointless and I'm just sitting around waiting to end it (Once I get paid). Seriously, fuck this shitty existence I can't wait to go. Fortunately I have done everything worth doing so it's not like I'll be missing out on anything not that there was much in my future.

In the world of body building or physical appearance, conditions like yours are often better than being fat, since you don't have to loose weight, I think you need to increase the protein intake and try building muscle, focusing on all parts of your body. You won't become arnold but you body will look "normal" but it will show that you are lean. Other than that, what I think the problem related to your appearance and I don't fking understand what is the obsession of the women with height these days, they are ruining the lives of their children since all want a man 6'7" when they are a little as fk at 5'3" or something, the kid born looks so odd that they have to suffer. Also you have mental issues and trust me, they are the main blockers in your life. I haven't found a way to handle them so I can't recommend anything.

 

[lwlaiet8887]

In the world of body building or physical appearance, conditions like yours are often better than being fat, since you don't have to loose weight, I think you need to increase the protein intake and try building muscle, focusing on all parts of your body. You won't become arnold but you body will look "normal" but it will show that you are lean. Other than that, what I think the problem related to your appearance and I don't fking understand what is the obsession of the women with height these days, they are ruining the lives of their children since all want a man 6'7" when they are a little as fk at 5'3" or something, the kid born looks so odd that they have to suffer. Also you have mental issues and trust me, they are the main blockers in your life. I haven't found a way to handle them so I can't recommend anything.

I have gained a lot of weight/muscle but I have very thin bone density and narrow shoulders (sometimes I wonder it's due to some health complication) , it doesn't make up for much. I don't have mental issues I'm very mentally stable/rational person. I just can't do what I've always wanted to do in life (military). I don't care about education/working (for what exactly?) , hedonism, videogames, books etc it all just bores me and I find it very unfufilling. Being in my own body is physically uncomfortable to me so I just try to dissociate as much as possible. I'm just at a point in my life where I've done enough and just want to go. If I had the option I would've chosen to never been born instead of enduring this nonsense. Only thing I wish is that I had a more simple method of CTB, I just want to drift off.

 

[Amidaa]

Mhmm, i understand your view it do be hard dose days to look a certain way or gain the looks you want. but i also believe its because of social media believe it or not unconsciously we do take that in and our mind to be telling us stuff what we been feed. and you also have your past experience of how peeps treat you because you look a certain way it do be stacking everything up. causing a lot of suffering later on, i also was bullied for how i look because i was the only asian in my school but i was trying to stay positive guess becaus i din't know beter or what to do really. it do be hard its like a endless loop of suffering then you also start to lose all the things you love to do. this existence i just so cruel to most of us, guess we all are tired and drained no matter what we do the end result is always the same. but i do wish you the best no matter what path you choose, maybe if you can just try again to improve how you wanna look or ask someone to help you with it. anyways hope your journey to peace be smooth.

 

[FuneralCry]

It really is so dreadful how people suffer all through no fault of their own in this cruel existence, I understand why you'd be looking forward to being free from it all. But anyway best wishes.