I’m so ugly that seeing myself just makes me angry

[Siamese Believe]

I can at least ignore it a little bit better when I don't have to look at myself. But getting reminded of the true extent of my ugliness fills me with fury.

Still haven't fully decided my method, I hate this body so much that stabbing myself to death seems easy at times.

You know when I think about how I'll never have the great life full of love and prosperity that attractive neurotypical people get, it feels very easy to overcome SI.

But yes I know, I know it's a horrific method. I'm still trying to think of another way. Time is all I have anyways, I'll figure something out.

 

[F@#$]

I keep all the mirrors in my house covered.

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

I keep all the mirrors in my house covered.

You too? I do the same, there's just no reason to put myself through that.

 

[Sphinxi]

I keep all the mirrors in my house covered.

I do as well. When I look at myself in the mirror, I get an uncanny feeling, as if I'm not looking at a human. It makes me unreasonably upset, so I leave them covered.

 

[NutOrat]

For me it's very different at different times, like sometimes I look in the mirror and I'm like "Huh, I'm not that much of an abomination after all", but then other times, particularly when the stubble grows out a bit, hair's greasy and the allergy has spiked I look like a bum or a drug addict. All the undesirable features become that much more noticeable. Also from the front angle it's not so bad, but you know those stupid angled mirrors at the gym where you can see yourself from behind and the sides? Yeah, fuck those, they show me how bad my balding has gotten, I don't want to ever think about that...

Anyway, I feel you on this, the vast majority of time I despise my appearance. I don't know how it is for you, but when in public I sometimes visualize in my head how I look from the third person's perspective, and it's usually much more flattering than the real deal Like I'd get a glimpse of myself in the bus' window and go "Damn, what a freaking gremlin! Do I really look like that? Ew!". I guess just don't focus on it too much and remember that people *usually* don't notice as many of your "flaws" as you do.

 

[sweetdrowning]

Lately I've just been wearing a mask and covering my face with my hair. I get this. Any sensation that reminds me I'm in this body makes me want to destroy it.

 

[peacefulsleepnow]

I avoid mirrors and reflective windows.

 

[darksouls]

I keep all the mirrors in my house covered.

I dont own any mirrors

 

[BillyBob]

I do not look in the mirror at all anymore. Body dysmorphia is not fun.
The other issue is the likes of taking a shower and having to touch your own body. Hate that feeling.

 

[F@#$]

You too? I do the same, there's just no reason to put myself through that.

I guess the only ones not covered are beer advertisement mirrors.

 

[Daphne]

If little kids look scared or run at the sight of you, then yes, you might be ugly

 

[39hatsune]

so sorry you feel that way, i am sure you are more beautiful than you know

i havent been able to leave the house without makeup in years now

 

[ZaydenX]

I too have a bad relationship with mirrors and even when I walk down the street I avoid looking at my reflection in shop windows.