EnnisTcc1
EXDEN
- Oct 15, 2023
- 11
Excuse cringe please, I know this is embarrassing but I needed to put this out there.
I just can't do this anymore. I'm so tired. I wake up everyday drained. I have no one at my side. No one truly likes me, some say they do I but know when I ctb it'll be nothing more than a minor inconvenience in their lives. I cry everyday. I self harm a lot. I want my mommy to hold me the way she used to when I was baby, I want her to rock me back and forth in her arms and tell me she's proud, and she loves me. I haven't lived with her in around a year. She hates me, I struggle with conflicting feelings on her. I want to forget what *he* *did* to me, I want my parents to love me again.
Every time I open my eyes it's dread. I have no goals, no aspiration, no point to live. Please, all I want is to sleep. I want to cuddle into my bed in my house and fall asleep, never waking up. I'm so utterly exhausted. It's emotional and physical. I have so much hurt in my heart, it's too much for me. My heart hurts and my chest pains physically. There's no hope, no end to my suffering. Suffering is life, life is suffering. I want to end my suffering. I want to ctb. Thanks for reading my rant.
Ps, I already have a date for my ctb. This isn't just wishing, I do wish it would come sooner though, but I want to watch my brother graduate before.
I just can't do this anymore. I'm so tired. I wake up everyday drained. I have no one at my side. No one truly likes me, some say they do I but know when I ctb it'll be nothing more than a minor inconvenience in their lives. I cry everyday. I self harm a lot. I want my mommy to hold me the way she used to when I was baby, I want her to rock me back and forth in her arms and tell me she's proud, and she loves me. I haven't lived with her in around a year. She hates me, I struggle with conflicting feelings on her. I want to forget what *he* *did* to me, I want my parents to love me again.
Every time I open my eyes it's dread. I have no goals, no aspiration, no point to live. Please, all I want is to sleep. I want to cuddle into my bed in my house and fall asleep, never waking up. I'm so utterly exhausted. It's emotional and physical. I have so much hurt in my heart, it's too much for me. My heart hurts and my chest pains physically. There's no hope, no end to my suffering. Suffering is life, life is suffering. I want to end my suffering. I want to ctb. Thanks for reading my rant.
Ps, I already have a date for my ctb. This isn't just wishing, I do wish it would come sooner though, but I want to watch my brother graduate before.
