Sorry you feel that way, if it helps then most of us are in the same boat. Try to not blame yourself for what you feel. Reminder: you are living through one of the most atomized, isolated, low-trust idiotic eras that mankind has ever had in its history. There was a 99% chance on being born that you would be dropped in a point of history where your life would be very simple: you live in the same place with the same people you've known since childhood in a high-trust tight knit community, your daily activities are everything that the human brain needs to trigger the reward centers (read: physical), you are surrounded by nature, and you actually worked less hours a week than we do now. You didn't have a propaganda machine in your pocket feeding you useless demoralization 24/7 and you would probably have been religious, so you would have been convinced that your life has a greater purpose and throughout your childhood conditioning you would be reasoned to love it all.
All that to say: there's a reason why young people especially are consuming ridiculous amounts of antidepressants and antipsychotics just to get through the day. This era is objectively stupid, extremely lonely despite humans being social creatures, and goes against everything we need to stay sane. It's honestly not anyone's fault for hating every bit of it. It's not your fault, you're living through like 20 grand-scale human experimentations simultaneously and that was not your choice.
