Venting I'm so sick of pretending to be fine to my family

[KillingPain267]

I can't do this anymore, except with drugs. But then they find out drugs and condemn it, and think they should spend even more time with me to prevent me from drinking or doing drugs. I'm getting so irritated that I fight hard not to explode. I'm even starting to have bad thoughts towards them. The worst part is that it's not their fault I feel like this. But I can't pretend to be fine, nor can I show emotions to them freely. I just don't feel right anymore.

 

[Namelesa]

Its awful that family can't understand our problems. They unintentionally do the opposite and hurt us more by shaming us for our ways of coping when we are barely living at this point. I can barely pretend that I am okay at this point as hiding it costs too much energy now but saying about it to my family doesn't really help me. I hope you can escape your pain <3

 

[KillingPain267]

Its awful that family can't understand our problems. They unintentionally do the opposite and hurt us more by shaming us for our ways of coping when we are barely living at this point. I can barely pretend that I am okay at this point as hiding it costs too much energy now but saying about it to my family doesn't really help me. I hope you can escape your pain <3

They are scared of me dying of liver failure I think. I guess I kinda was on track towards that. But what they don't know is that I'm more suicidal sober. I can't take my own conscious thought life anymore. I've tried all the therapy medication BS also, nothing helping compared to drugs.

 

[Dongle]

They are scared of me dying of liver failure I think. I guess I kinda was on track towards that. But what they don't know is that I'm more suicidal sober. I can't take my own conscious thought life anymore. I've tried all the therapy medication BS also, nothing helping compared to drugs.

Have you tried to explain your side of how you're feeling, both sober and otherwise? I'm sorry that you're in that situation with your family, it's never really easy when the relationship is strained to shit.

 

[KillingPain267]

Have you tried to explain your side of how you're feeling, both sober and otherwise? I'm sorry that you're in that situation with your family, it's never really easy when the relationship is strained to shit.

I can't tell them I'm seriously suicidal. They will just freak out and want to monitor me totally.

 

[Dongle]

I can't tell them I'm seriously suicidal. They will just freak out and want to monitor me totally.

I get that, there's just certain people that I cannot talk about this to at all.

 

[KillingPain267]

I get that, there's just certain people that I cannot talk about this to at all.

I only have this community for that