I'm so sick of being broke and in debt

[egAbwkOofXrX]

I have been very depressed since I was 14 or so and I'm now going on 26. My parents were young, flat broke and alcoholics when they had me. They just mainly fought and yelled and got drunk all the time. I basically raised myself and just focused on school. I was good at it and I thought it was my way out until late high school, depression, anxiety, self harm got much worse and my grades tanked. I barely got into college but still went, thinking it would help me get out, but I just wanted to KMS while I was there. I had a method planned out and everything.

Finally I decided to leave college and go to a mental hospital, essentially just daycare for adults, I didn't even speak to a therapist the whole time I was there. I was just treated like a prisoner and forced to share rooms with strangers. They sent me out with a huge medical bill and said good luck!

Well now I'm in fuck tons of debt: student loans, medical, credit card debt, personal loans, all shit I did to try to survive. But none of it seems to be worth it because I still just wanna die. I lost my job in December, so did my partner, and we've Barely been able to eat or pay rent since.

We may very well be homeless soon and things are not getting any better. My phone blows up constantly with debt collectors, my credit is fucked, and I can't find a job making more than $14/hr because I'm just an "unskilled" loser

I hate being lesser than everybody else because I'm poor and in debt. I'm sick of getting abused and yelled at for pennies at these customer service jobs and constantly told I'm worthless. Just because I don't have a college degree I should just die in the streets because I'm poor and useless. Even if I wanted to go back to school I can't afford it, and can't take out more loans.

Im doomed to be broke and in debt forever and frankly when you're already very mentally ill that's JUST not worth living through. The only things that's kept me here is how difficult it can be to end it without disabling yourself or spending a lot of money on supplies.

 

[silence ends]

Feel you. Life aint fair.
Some ppl born such conditions that they never have money problems even if they mess all up.

In my country i cant even get 10euro/h job since no education or experience.

Gonna be homeless in next months and cant get anymore credit or debt.
Simply dont have money to exist or skills to get money.
Luckily got SN before so i have tools to exit.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Can you file for bankruptcy to erase much of your debt? You probably can't get out of the student loans, but could possibly get out of the rest of the debt you owe and start over with a somewhat clear slate.

 

[egAbwkOofXrX]

I get it, I'm sorry you're going through it too. The economy seems fucked worldwide and without a global workers revolution or general strike (not going to happen) nothing is going to change. The rich will get richer and the poor will get poorer just like it has always been. It's frustrating that without a college degree or special skills people think we are not worth a living wage. I work 40+ hours a week and can't afford food or rent, that shouldn't happen.

I think about SN but this site says you need anti emetics which are more rare and expensive. We'll see, I don't know

Feel you. Life aint fair.
Some ppl born such conditions that they never have money problems even if they mess all up.

In my country i cant even get 10euro/h job since no education or experience.

Gonna be homeless in next months and cant get anymore credit or debt.
Simply dont have money to exist or skills to get money.
Luckily got SN before so i have tools to exit.

Can you file for bankruptcy to erase much of your debt? You probably can't get out of the student loans, but could possibly get out of the rest of the debt you owe and start over with a somewhat clear slate.

I think about this a lot. Unfortunately the student loans are the biggest part, but the rest of the stuff getting cleared would be pretty big too. I just know it costs something to hire an attorney to file bankruptcy, so I don't know.

 

[anhedonya]

I'm sorry you're going through this. I don't know what I can say as comfort because I'm in the same spot other than you're not alone. I'm right there with you and my stuff is credit card debt and school loans, though the loans are the real issue. The funny part is I started taking out loans not to pay for school, as FAFSA did that for me, but because my pet got sick. I couldn't afford the vet bill and it was my only choice. And then I had to take out more school loans to pay the cards I put it all on and then for basic groceries + other living expenses. I literally have school debt for things completely unrelated to school, it's crazy. Like what was I supposed to do? Let my animals suffer? So now because I gave a shit, I either pay up for years or go die on the streets?

The system is so messed up and broken. If you don't have a car and make at least 2.5k a month, it basically just pretends you don't exist and hopes you slowly fall into the background.

I'm sorry for everything you and your partner have had to go through. Money also played a huge rule in the way I am choosing to CTB- I can't afford pills and I can't afford to mess up my one go at it either. Wishing you the best

 

[egAbwkOofXrX]

Th

I'm sorry you're going through this. I don't know what I can say as comfort because I'm in the same spot other than you're not alone. I'm right there with you and my stuff is credit card debt and school loans, though the loans are the real issue. The funny part is I started taking out loans not to pay for school, as FAFSA did that for me, but because my pet got sick. I couldn't afford the vet bill and it was my only choice. And then I had to take out more school loans to pay the cards I put it all on and then for basic groceries + other living expenses. I literally have school debt for things completely unrelated to school, it's crazy. Like what was I supposed to do? Let my animals suffer? So now because I gave a shit, I either pay up for years or go die on the streets?

The system is so messed up and broken. If you don't have a car and make at least 2.5k a month, it basically just pretends you don't exist and hopes you slowly fall into the background.

I'm sorry for everything you and your partner have had to go through. Money also played a huge rule in the way I am choosing to CTB- I can't afford pills and I can't afford to mess up my one go at it either. Wishing you the best

Thank you, I definitely get it. When I was in college I lost a job too and I couldn't find another, so I did the same thing sort of. Started using my leftover student loan money just to eat. They had a campus food bank but it was pretty slim pickings and not really enough to survive on, so I was using student loan money and a credit card just to eat and buy necessities. That credit card after 7 years of not paying I no longer owe apparently, but the student debt won't go away. Apparently not even if you die, which is absurd to me. The fact that they would use my estate and hound my family for money for student loans. I didn't even finish school! So this debt is effectively for NOTHING, I'm just burning money away. I could set thousands in cash on fire for the same effect. But what was I supposed to do? Now I know I should not have gone to college at all, but that meant extra time in a very toxic home as well. Damned if I did and Damned if I didn't.

 

[anhedonya]

Th

Thank you, I definitely get it. When I was in college I lost a job too and I couldn't find another, so I did the same thing sort of. Started using my leftover student loan money just to eat. They had a campus food bank but it was pretty slim pickings and not really enough to survive on, so I was using student loan money and a credit card just to eat and buy necessities. That credit card after 7 years of not paying I no longer owe apparently, but the student debt won't go away. Apparently not even if you die, which is absurd to me. The fact that they would use my estate and hound my family for money for student loans. I didn't even finish school! So this debt is effectively for NOTHING, I'm just burning money away. I could set thousands in cash on fire for the same effect. But what was I supposed to do? Now I know I should not have gone to college at all, but that meant extra time in a very toxic home as well. Damned if I did and Damned if I didn't.

I completely understand. I never even wanted to go to college but everyone expected it and FAFSA was gonna pay so, fine whatever. I went. Now my debt is also for nothing because though I'm taking another semester, it's going to be my last one. Whether because I drop out or my plan to CTB magically fails, I'm not going to achieve a degree. It feels like such a sick, twisted joke. I definitely know what you mean by the debt collectors, one of my family members passed and I shit you not when I had to call and let the debt people know, they said "did so and so have any estate?". Like fuck you for even asking me that, no, you destroyed that person's life with anxiety and horror and now you want to try to kick me out of my own family home? They're parasites. Literally beasts pretending to be people. It's all just so messed up. Like what did they expect you to do, starve yourself with the bare minimum your school gave away for free? Survive on one bowl of rice everyday? I wish things were better.

 

[FuneralCry]

That must be so dreadful what you are going through, it's certainly so cruel how people have to suffer so much in this existence. But anyway best wishes.

 

[egAbwkOofXrX]

That must be so dreadful what you are going through, it's certainly so cruel how people have to suffer so much in this existence. But anyway best wishes.

Thank you