I’m so lonely no matter what I try to do !

[WonderingSoul]

It drives me nuts that no matter how hard I try, I can't make any trustworthy friends. Literally from middle school to now, I've always been ghosted or forgotten. I did have one friend group in high school, but we don't speak to each other nowadays and I'm trying to make new ones in college. I don't understand what it is about me that people don't like. I don't smell, I dress like anyone else, and it's not like I don't talk when I'm in a group. I really don't want to sound like some narcissist but, I joined a college club and talked to many people in my classes and nobody seems to take any interest in me. I managed to make 2 friends in the club I joined, but then they never returned or contacted me. It's making me lose my mind, like I'm not meant to be on this planet. Maybe it's a trauma thing, I don't know but I wish I had someone I can trust, someone who would listen to me. I had another friend in highschool who ditched me and never contacted me again (he wasn't related to the friend group though) and middle school is an entire struggle on its own.

I understand I'm not entitled to any friendship but I wish I wasn't always the one who is watching friends from a distance. Nobody understands that loneliness is like being sent to hell. No joke, I'm going to go crazy.

 

[novem]

You make friends when you do things together and share with each other (remember to have something in order to share it). I remember i made a friend because we used to work out in gym together at the same time. Also notice who is your league and who is not so that you don't get disappointed.

 

[Bootleg Astolfo]

If you have really low standarts and high tolerance for creepyness, just become the ''attractive excentric'', then a looooooooooooot of people are going to come to you ! Mostly all creeps. Almost all creeps. About 99.9% autistic or schizo fat old men. But um well... if you just want someone to... do whatever it is the weird people that come to me usually want to do, they can be your friends !

 

[TheBroken]

Exact same experience. For a lifetime it's been the same - I'm sure I could literally cure a "friend's" cancer and still be left in the dust. Can't argue points @novem has made and I've tried these things and many others without luck. Although not suggesting you should give up, I decided to give up and at nearly 60 years old don't have one friend I do anything with or could call if I needed help. On the bright side, when I go next month during time when family will be all gone no one will miss me much so there's that I guess. Wish you the best ....
.

If you have really low standarts and high tolerance for creepyness, just become the ''attractive excentric'', then a looooooooooooot of people are going to come to you ! Mostly all creeps. Almost all creeps. About 99.9% autistic or schizo fat old men. But um well... if you just want someone to... do whatever it is the weird people that come to me usually want to do, they can be your friends !

Generally accurate ..... yep

 

[WonderingSoul]

You make friends when you do things together and share with each other (remember to have something in order to share it). I remember i made a friend because we used to work out in gym together at the same time. Also notice who is your league and who is not so that you don't get disappointed.

Yes but… that's what I did. I joined clubs to share interests and it didn't work out.

 

[novem]

Yes but… that's what I did. I joined clubs to share interests and it didn't work out.

sometimes you need many attempts. the lower your chances are the more attemps you need to achieve it. Also work on being a likable person, dress in better clothes, accessories, let people talk about themselves.

 

[Sleeper System]

I can relate. I had a chill group of friends In high-school but as we started to "grow up" everyone got Jobs and life really took over and we grew apart. I also was dealing with some anti-social issues which I think came from never being let out of the house due to living in a bad neighborhood and sort of getting used to always being to myself. I have co-workers that I consider cool but we don't hang out outside of work. I find that you can make friends easily or at least have people engage with you by "wearing" your interests. I love heavy metal and anime and tv shows so I wear things that express that and people with the same interests always seem to find me. You have to make friends organically. People can sense a fake person rather easily in general. Just be yourself and don't be afraid of being ghosted or rejected. You can't win a game if you don't even play. That's my little piece of advice. Sincerely, Autistic Schizo fat old man. Smd. >_>

 

[TheBroken]

An optional perspective @WonderingSoul

 

[FuneralCry]

I know that loneliness can be torture for many people and I'm sorry that you have to endure so much suffering. I feel like in general, people can often be cruel, selfish and disappointing and that is just the way that people are. It is a very depressing world that we live in. I hope that you find relief from your pain.

 

[come to dust]

Have you tried making friends online? I find that much easier.

 

[hockeymum9999]

Loneliness sucks. I have people around me but no one where I can truly be myself. I put on a fake smile every day around my family and cry myself to sleep most nights.

 

[Darth Ruin]

Also work on being a likable person, dress in better clothes, accessories, let people talk about themselves.

Letting people talk about themselves more often than not leads to them noticing that I don't have anything to say which then turns that into the topic of discussion...

It's all about being attractive and knowing how to smalltalk. Of course this is difficult to learn or basically decided upon when you are born...

 

[Pluto]

I feel hypocritical issuing advice that I've failed to successfully implement myself, but there is heaps of support available if you don't mind watching YouTube videos or being a part of groups on the topic. If autism is a factor, there are specific resources.

Sometimes it is as simple as people needing to have things explained that do not come naturally, as well as needing to put one's self out there once the 'theory lesson' has been digested. I've always been a people pleaser but my lack of authenticity and my perception of being disliked was my downfall. I try not to think about how different life could have been if I had thought to pursue improved social skills earlier.

And finally, you'll always be listened to here. So there's that.

 

[jamie_]

everyone in the world could be my friend but without her i will feel lonely. the moment i step out into the world i feel so sad and empty

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I had quite a few friends in high school, but after graduating, we all went our separate ways. So, I guess they weren't really "good friends", but more party friends. When I cleaned up my act, which was right after high school, I guess I really chose not to associate with the "party" friends who I surrounded myself with back then. I was a burnout back then. We all were. But I quit drinking and quit smoking dope and then I guess I had nothing in common with them anymore. In college I didn't have time to make friends, as I was going to college and working a full-time job for the entire time. I've never made any friends at work in any of the multiple places I've worked over the years. Most of those people were interested in going out to the bars after work and that just wasn't me anymore. I don't have any interests anymore, well, except dying, so that really isn't a great option for me, either. And then there's the other thing that I just don't give a fucking shit anymore. Well, maybe there's a little more, too, in that I have never lived my truth, either, because I'm not truly able to the degree I need, so being 100% genuine with anyone was never something I could attain. As helpful and needed as having online friends have been for me, it isn't like we go out and do things together, or that I can have any of their backs if they need something, or vice versa. It's not really the same thing as having someone IRL that you can count on. But, it's still appreciated nonetheless, especially everyone here on SS. I've been a member of a lot of different forums over the years and never have I posted as much in any of them as on SS. I guess it's because of where I am in life, and in my head, and the commonality everyone here has. If I were a bit younger, I'd probably rethink things and maybe reach out a bit more and put myself out there more, but it really doesn't matter at this stage to me anymore.

 

[jesse]

I'm alone as well. I try to not think about it, because it just makes me feel more like a loser. Nothing I do to make friends or reach out to people seems to work either. It's increasingly harder after all the bad experiences I've had too. I've effectively given up, but I also hold out some sense of hope despite not working at it. I guess the self-deceit helps me feel better about the situation.

 

[depressedmaniac]

Friendship is just trading. You do something for them so they stick around. the moment you are useless to them they dont give 2 fucks. Gave up on that long time ago. Conditional bs. Not helpful advice I know.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

It drives me nuts that no matter how hard I try, I can't make any trustworthy friends. Literally from middle school to now, I've always been ghosted or forgotten. I did have one friend group in high school, but we don't speak to each other nowadays and I'm trying to make new ones in college. I don't understand what it is about me that people don't like. I don't smell, I dress like anyone else, and it's not like I don't talk when I'm in a group. I really don't want to sound like some narcissist but, I joined a college club and talked to many people in my classes and nobody seems to take any interest in me. I managed to make 2 friends in the club I joined, but then they never returned or contacted me. It's making me lose my mind, like I'm not meant to be on this planet. Maybe it's a trauma thing, I don't know but I wish I had someone I can trust, someone who would listen to me. I had another friend in highschool who ditched me and never contacted me again (he wasn't related to the friend group though) and middle school is an entire struggle on its own.

I understand I'm not entitled to any friendship but I wish I wasn't always the one who is watching friends from a distance. Nobody understands that loneliness is like being sent to hell. No joke, I'm going to go crazy.

I feel you. I've cut off most of my friendships due to extreme self-loathing. But I used to have quite a few friends… It's really all about creating connection… Listening to people and being there for them. There's lots of lonely people out there who need friends.
It's easier when you're feeling joyous. If you're feeling dark and grim and weird That can often scare people off. Which is why I pretty much keep to myself right now.
But if you're willing to connect with other humans and listen you might have a shot…