Story I'm so lonely and i don't have the courage to ctb

[DoomerPrince]

Hello, I'm really depressed, my four girl friends cut connections with me, all four of them told me the same thing: "I'm not feeling good i don't want to talk with nobody" if that only one of them i would say okay, take your time, but if four girls told me that maybe I'm the bad here? I'm diagnosed with ocd, personality disorder and I've been thinking, maybe they don't want to talk with me? One time i swallow a lot of sleeping pills and i find myself in an ambulance, since that day even my man friends didn't talk with me after, they even didn't ask how I'm feeling, and when i trys to talk to them they literally all of them said that they busy and not have time to meet, so yeah I'm really lonely right now
In September i can buy again sleeping pills, i wish I'll have the courage to swallow all 30 of them, thanks for the people's that read until the end

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry you have to go through this. Which sleeping pill you're gonna buy? I doubt that you'd be successful this time.

If you are interested in OD I suggest you look into researched methods in the PPeH and other methods in the Suicide Resource Compilation.

 

[CW36]

If your friends abandoned you, then they were never your friends in the first place. Fickle and false.

 

[DoomerPrince]

I'm sorry you have to go through this. Which sleeping pill you're gonna buy? I doubt that you'd be successful this time.

If you are interested in OD I suggest you look into researched methods in the PPeH and other methods in the Suicide Resource Compilation.

Thanks for reading bro
I have a perception to stillnox
Very good pills you take 2 of them, you can murder someone and the next morning you'll find yourself in the bed and don't remember it all
Anyway I'm not a native speaker in english so if you can, explain to me what is od and what is ppeh

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Thanks for reading bro
I have a perception to stillnox
Very good pills you take 2 of them, you can murder someone and the next morning you'll find yourself in the bed and don't remember it all
Anyway I'm not a native speaker in english so if you can, explain to me what is od and what is ppeh

OD = Overdose
PPeH = Peaceful Pill eHandbook you also find that in the Suicide Resource Compilation

Here is a list of acronyms we use here:

Acronyms

i hate acronyms, i love tables don't use acronyms, please (this is just for lookup purposes) communication is extremely important (especially here), so don’t take shortcuts: Short Form Delimiter Long Form Notes AE = antiemetic AFAIC = as far as I'm concerned AFAIK = as far as I...

www.sanctioned-suicide.net

Suicide Resource Compilation

All the links to threads, videos, audio, downloads, and information found here are being made available only for educational purposes, and have been shared by users; we cannot assure the accuracy of the data. This means the way you use this data is fully your responsibility, that you need to...

www.sanctioned-suicide.net

I don't know whether this OD will work or not, I still suggest to consider researched OD but anyway it's up to you whatever you decide is your own decision.

 

[befree]

Being alone can also have advantages. No one can disturb with you rethinking your life and situation and making your own decisions.
People who weren't there for you when you were miserable don't deserve you.

Most overdose attempts fail, unless you use a proven guide.

In this thread you can find an overview of common methods:

Need Ideas

New here, sorry if I'm doing this wrong LOL. Anyways, my preferred method until lately has been firearm, but I'm in a bit of a predicament. I'm aware that if I do so, because I have access to them because of my father that my mother and her family will go after him and try to charge him for...

sanctioned-suicide.net

This is just a general information. I do not encourage you to commit suicide and to use these methods. You act on your own responsibility.

 

[DoomerPrince]

If your friends abandoned you, then they were never your friends in the first place. Fickle and false.

Maybe you're right. If i was depressed or something I'm promise to you i will never leave my friends.
Cause i really love them and i care about them
Oh and yeah i talked with friend from the past, i told her what I'm feeling and guess what? She said she doesn't want to listen to me. But when she's needs me I'm always have been to her. Maybe I'm really Intolerable?

 

[CW36]

No, you sound like a decent person. I'm presuming you're a man, and of a younger generation?

 

[DoomerPrince]

Yeah I'm a man and young generation.

 

[CW36]

Yeah, I'm a man and 22

I thought so. I can't really say what I wish to here, because of the 'woke' culture. All I will say is that I'm convinced it's not your fault, and men are struggling more than ever in this world. You're not alone and I respect you for coming here and being open about it. I would ask you to reconsider your plans though, as sleeping pills are unlikely to work alone. I don't want you ending up in a halfway house here, if you understand.

 

[vanadium23]

You seem like a decent person. I wish your life so far was better :(

In September i can buy again sleeping pills, i wish I'll have the courage to swallow all 30 of them, thanks for the people's that read until the end

For what it's worth, some sleeping pills are coated with a small amount of vomiting agent to prevent users from overdosing. You might want to check that you're buying the exact same sleeping pills at the very least.

 

[DoomerPrince]

I thought so. I can't really say what I wish to here, because of the 'woke' culture. All I will say is that I'm convinced it's not your fault, and men are struggling more than ever in this world. You're not alone and I respect you for coming here and being open about it. I would ask you to reconsider your plans though, as sleeping pills are unlikely to work alone. I don't want you ending up in a halfway house here, if you understand.

okay bro thanks, i do want to live and be happy but it's not happening. in moments of desperation i do feel suicidal like i told earlier, but i just want to find good friends and the love of my life, but it's fine only one of them. in the moments that i'm reallt depressed i don't care about nobody and can do bad things, but later after i got relaxed, i'm saying to myself "are you a idiot?" my family knows that i'm depressed and my father told me seriously "if you will kill yourself i'm also kill myself"
yeah i do have a family but it's not enough. i can't tell them nothing i'm not feels comfortable, i just want one friend like from my friends in the past.

 

[DoomerPrince]

You seem like a decent person. I wish your life so far was better :(

For what it's worth, some sleeping pills are coated with a small amount of vomiting agent to prevent users from overdosing. You might want to check that you're buying the exact same sleeping pills at the very least.

any idea how can i check it?

 

[Unattainable666]

If your friends abandoned you, then they were never your friends in the first place. Fickle and false.

Excellent response!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[FuneralCry]

I just don't believe that other people can be relied on and trusted in this world, I get that loneliness is painful for so many who exist here, sadly I just think that so many people are too self centred to ever care. But anyway best wishes.

 

[CW36]

okay bro thanks, i do want to live and be happy but it's not happening. in moments of desperation i do feel suicidal like i told earlier, but i just want to find good friends and the love of my life, but it's fine only one of them. in the moments that i'm reallt depressed i don't care about nobody and can do bad things, but later after i got relaxed, i'm saying to myself "are you a idiot?" my family knows that i'm depressed and my father told me seriously "if you will kill yourself i'm also kill myself"
yeah i do have a family but it's not enough. i can't tell them nothing i'm not feels comfortable, i just want one friend like from my friends in the past.

Yes, you're up and down and definitely not ready to CTB by the sounds of it. More and more people are becoming long-term depressives, as life becomes more detached and complex. So you're not alone by a country mile, and it's good you can understand that on a site such as this. Your father's response was likely a desperate plea. I wouldn't read it as emotional blackmail in this case, as I'm guessing he's not an emotive person and doesn't know how to handle your thoughts. Remember, he's from a more stiff upper lip generation. Are you from the UK?

 

[San_Miguel]

Hello, I'm really depressed, my four girl friends cut connections with me, all four of them told me the same thing: "I'm not feeling good i don't want to talk with nobody" if that only one of them i would say okay, take your time, but if four girls told me that maybe I'm the bad here? I'm diagnosed with ocd, personality disorder and I've been thinking, maybe they don't want to talk with me? One time i swallow a lot of sleeping pills and i find myself in an ambulance, since that day even my man friends didn't talk with me after, they even didn't ask how I'm feeling, and when i trys to talk to them they literally all of them said that they busy and not have time to meet, so yeah I'm really lonely right now
In September i can buy again sleeping pills, i wish I'll have the courage to swallow all 30 of them, thanks for the people's that read until the end

Hey bud,

I've been there before. It's not a fun place to be. Just remember you are never truly alone. God is real, and He loves you unconditionally. That means no matter what you do, no matter how bad you think you are, God loves you and wants you to experience His Joy. It can be hard to feel joy when life is so rough, but if you focus your attention outside of yourself by loving God, you will see that life is beautiful, even with all its pains.

For me, the best way to love God is to learn about Jesus and how He wants me to live. He wants us to love and forgive those who betray us, and he wants us to keep him at the center of our lives at all times. Every thought, every decision, every action, should be bringing us closer to Him.

I'll always be here for you. You are dearly loved, my friend.

 

[DoomerPrince]

thanks i want to find someone that will care about me like i care for them. i really give my whole heart and always be for my friends doesn't matter what.

 

[DoomerPrince]

Yes, you're up and down and definitely not ready to CTB by the sounds of it. More and more people are becoming long-term depressives, as life becomes more detached and complex. So you're not alone by a country mile, and it's good you can understand that on a site such as this. Your father's response was likely a desperate plea. I wouldn't read it as emotional blackmail in this case, as I'm guessing he's not an emotive person and doesn't know how to handle your thoughts. Remember, he's from a more stiff upper lip generation. Are you from the UK?

the sad truth is that my father also have depression and he was a drug addict. sometimes when he's mad he drinks, curses all of us including my mother, and breaking the walls of our house, also sometimes he's self harming. so yeah i take him seriously because he's extremeist.
but thank you for telling me your opinion i hope you do well in your life
and no i not from the UK

Hey bud,

I've been there before. It's not a fun place to be. Just remember you are never truly alone. God is real, and He loves you unconditionally. That means no matter what you do, no matter how bad you think you are, God loves you and wants you to experience His Joy. It can be hard to feel joy when life is so rough, but if you focus your attention outside of yourself by loving God, you will see that life is beautiful, even with all its pains.

For me, the best way to love God is to learn about Jesus and how He wants me to live. He wants us to love and forgive those who betray us, and he wants us to keep him at the center of our lives at all times. Every thought, every decision, every action, should be bringing us closer to Him.

I'll always be here for you. You are dearly loved, my friend.

thanks dude i'll also be here for you
i'm not gonna lie i did some sins in my life but i hope god will forgive me.
i got conclusions from my life expirement and some of them are bad.
i hope god will understand

 

[CW36]

the sad truth is that my father also have depression and he was a drug addict. sometimes when he's mad he drinks, curses all of us including my mother, and breaking the walls of our house, also sometimes he's self harming. so yeah i take him seriously because he's extremeist.
but thank you for telling me your opinion i hope you do well in your life
and no i not from the UK

Oh, I see, sorry. I've never spoken to someone who has a self-harming father. That must be difficult to live with, both mentally and physically. If it counts for anything, I understand what be it's like to have a difficult dad. Is there a chance he could be online in this community too? Well I'll be putting an end to mine soon. I've made up my mind %.

 

[DoomerPrince]

Oh, I see, sorry. I've never spoken to someone who has a self-harming father. That must be difficult to live with, both mentally and physically. If it counts for anything, I understand what be it's like to have a difficult dad. Is their a chance he could be online in this community too? Well I'll be putting an end to mine soon. I've made up my mind %.

i really hope you'll find a hope and i'm sure there is something. but from the other side it's so hard at the start, even get up from bed. i wish i could help you with your problems. i wish you all best and luck and i hope you'll overcome from this.
btw haha no, he don't even knows how to use phone, and he does'nt know english
oh and probably will angry at me for knowing that i'm here
thank you all of you for suppring me, and spend your time for that
i didn't thought that so many people will read my post
the community here is grate.
thanks for all the help and i wish you the best life can afford, realtionship, good friends and health

 

[CW36]

i really hope you'll find a hope and i'm sure there is something. but from the other side it's so hard at the start, even get up from bed. i wish i could help you with your problems. i wish you all best and luck and i hope you'll overcome from this.
btw haha no, he don't even knows how to use phone, and he does'nt know english
oh and probably will angry at me for knowing that i'm here

Thanks buddy, but I don't want or need any hope now. I'm not depressed, sad, angry or anything. I'm just tired and stoic. I'm ready to start the next chapter, or finish the last one, depending on how you see the world. I've lived a very good life compared to many on here, but I've always been fascinated by death and life hasn't appealed for a long old while. I've experienced love many times and travelled the world. So at 22, I hope you give it a good old go like I did, because I almost gave up even younger than that, and I would've missed out on the best years of my life! I'm not pro life, but I think it's especially sad when I see youngsters CTB. They never gave it a proper chance. Anyway, enough of all that. I'm glad your dad has technophobia, at least you can speak here with freedom!

 

[numbed one]

Hello, I'm really depressed, my four girl friends cut connections with me, all four of them told me the same thing: "I'm not feeling good i don't want to talk with nobody" if that only one of them i would say okay, take your time, but if four girls told me that maybe I'm the bad here? I'm diagnosed with ocd, personality disorder and I've been thinking, maybe they don't want to talk with me? One time i swallow a lot of sleeping pills and i find myself in an ambulance, since that day even my man friends didn't talk with me after, they even didn't ask how I'm feeling, and when i trys to talk to them they literally all of them said that they busy and not have time to meet, so yeah I'm really lonely right now
In September i can buy again sleeping pills, i wish I'll have the courage to swallow all 30 of them, thanks for the people's that read until the end

I'm so lonely too and i dont have no gf just two male Friends that show up once per month and i've made an overdose on olanzapine lately and nobody cared about me but m'y mom that took me to thé hospital

WE Can bé Friends if y want to .

 

[vanadium23]

any idea how can i check it?

Unfortunately I have no idea, sorry.

 

[Fentanull]

I hope you're doing okay now, brother. I saw you said you do want to live and feel suicidal in moments of desperation- to that I'd say please try some other options to work out these rough patches before suicide if possible. I don't know the full scope of your situation, but if it does come to that just try and be sure that dying is really worth it compared to struggling. I know that's hypocritical coming from someone like me, but even if I'm suicidal I still hate to see the potential snuffed out from young people in desperation.

 

[DoomerPrince]

Thanks buddy, but I don't want or need any hope now. I'm not depressed, sad, angry or anything. I'm just tired and stoic. I'm ready to start the next chapter, or finish the last one, depending on how you see the world. I've lived a very good life compared to many on here, but I've always been fascinated by death and life hasn't appealed for a long old while. I've experienced love many times and travelled the world. So at 22, I hope you give it a good old go like I did, because I almost gave up even younger than that, and I would've missed out on the best years of my life! I'm not pro life, but I think it's especially sad when I see youngsters CTB. They never gave it a proper chance. Anyway, enough of all that. I'm glad your dad has technophobia, at least you can speak here with freedom!

haha lol thank you for your opinion i actually didn't enjoy my life so much. it's boring AF to live in a tiny village like mine, but maybe you right i need to do things that i'll enjoy, travel the world, and find love. maybe it will be real. i have anything i could get, social worker, rehabilitation instructor, almost free membership to the gym, and i'm ecognized as disabled and receives a disability allowance. maybe there is still hope for me thank you for the encouragement

good luck with anything you wish to do and i hope you'll feel happier and freedom.

Unfortunately I have no idea, sorry.

okay bro thanks anyways

I hope you're doing okay now, brother. I saw you said you do want to live and feel suicidal in moments of desperation- to that I'd say please try some other options to work out these rough patches before suicide if possible. I don't know the full scope of your situation, but if it does come to that just try and be sure that dying is really worth it compared to struggling. I know that's hypocritical coming from someone like me, but even if I'm suicidal I still hate to see the potential snuffed out from young people in desperation.

thank you for the encouragement. i have all the help from the state, maybe i should try to give it a chance.

 

[CW36]

haha lol thank you for your opinion i actually didn't enjoy my life so much. it's boring AF to live in a tiny village like mine, but maybe you right i need to do things that i'll enjoy, travel the world, and find love. maybe it will be real. i have anything i could get, social worker, rehabilitation instructor, almost free membership to the gym, and i'm ecognized as disabled and receives a disability allowance. maybe there is still hope for me thank you for the encouragement

good luck with anything you wish to do and i hope you'll feel happier and freedom.

okay bro thanks anyways

Then you have a better chance than most my friend! Exercise is the best drug on earth! It helps you in so many ways besides physical fitness. I strongly advise you become a regular at the gym and watch how your life changes for the better. Who knows, you might find love there too!

Thank you, and I wish you all the best bud!

 

[DoomerPrince]

thank you brother y'all encourage me more than my friends. i wasn't expected that in this forum so many people listen to me and encouraging me.
the community here is amazing.

 

[painful existence]

You should definitely try to go to a psychiatrist and maybe a psychologist.I am no expert but you seem to have good chances of recovery if you gave it a shot.Also try finding new friends and don't rely too much on other people as you would always end up disappointed.
Also if things don't work out then you would have the back up option of taking your life.
Don't do it with sleeping pills (the chances of failure are too high and you might end up surviving and worse with a permanent damage to your organs).
If you really have to go that route one day then try doing a comprehensive research (There are many good methods listed on this website.Just research it completely and ask for help if you have trouble understanding something.)

 

[DoomerPrince]

You should definitely try to go to a psychiatrist and maybe a psychologist.I am no expert but you seem to have good chances of recovery if you gave it a shot.Also try finding new friends and don't rely too much on other people as you would always end up disappointed.
Also if things don't work out then you would have the back up option of taking your life.
Don't do it with sleeping pills (the chances of failure are too high and you might end up surviving and worse with a permanent damage to your organs).
If you really have to go that route one day then try doing a comprehensive research (There are many good methods listed on this website.Just research it completely and ask for help if you have trouble understanding something.)

I sees a psychiatric every month and he gave me a lot of pills. I've seen a lot of psychologists and psychotherapists, but i need something more intense. Next week i have a meeting with psychiatrist and he'll decide if hospitalize me in the psychiatric hospital or not. If this will happen myabe they could help me.
And yeah i will check on other methods here.
Thank you for your opinion and tips
Now i know that sleeping pills is not a good idea.