Venting I'm so confused. Why do I feel like this?

[dembe]

I've reached a really low point again, I was quite alright for a few months but I'm not sure something just idk. Like nothing happened, the last time I felt like this I'd lost lost two very close friends and i just spiralled and didnt know what to do, but now nothing has happened no big event has shifted and uprooted my life but everyday I wake up and I'm immediately just sad. Normally Id wake up ok then the saddness trickles in as the day progresses but im sad when I wake up, sad when I go to sleep, sad when im just there, living and being. And i dont know what would fix it, normally I could do a little something like write a song or watch a funny video and id feel a little relief but nothing is working and I feel so helpless. I just want a break from myself.

 

[mortuarymary]

Then have a break. Those 2 friends you lost wouldn't want you like this. Get out there, explore, talk to us loons on here. What's the main thing making you feel helpless?

 

[dembe]

Then have a break. Those 2 friends you lost wouldn't want you like this. Get out there, explore, talk to us loons on here. What's the main thing making you feel helpless?

I wish I could put my finger on it but im not sure, i wish i could take a break but I still live with my parents and my father and I have a weird relationship where I feel the i need to be the best daughter I can be especially academically. I wish desperately not to go to classes but ive already promised him I would and i dont want to disappoint. So im gonna go take a few shots of rum and go to those 2 fuckass classes because fuck how I feel ig.

 

[mortuarymary]

Do it, keep going and hopefully you'll start to feel better.