Venting I'm so annoyed at how I can't easily take the risk to kill myself

[ijustwishtodie]

I feel like I should be able to logically conclude that I should take the risk at a CTB attempt and do the attempt hoping that I succeed in it. After all, think about it like this, many people say that they would endure so much suffering for a billion dollars. I see eternal peace as worth more than a billion dollars as having eternal peace isn't something that money can buy. So then, why... why do I have to be so scared at actually killing myself? Many people would probably kill others for a billion dollars so why don't I have the courage to kill myself for something that's significantly greater than a billion dollars? I don't get it. Logically I should be able to risk it all to kill myself...

 

[kogareteru]

Maybe you aren't here to suicide, you aren't to find peace by killing yourself but rather... something you reach in life.
The worry/fear/hesitation probably means you still have something to lose. Try to find what that is. Good luck.

 

[DEATH IS FREEDOM]

You need a suicide partner. Join my group.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Maybe you aren't here to suicide, you aren't to find peace by killing yourself but rather... something you reach in life.
The worry/fear/hesitation probably means you still have something to lose. Try to find what that is. Good luck.

I don't want anything from life. I never did. Ever since I was young, I have always valued inertia and doing as little as possible. I have always wished that I could do nothing at all. Life goes against that principle of mine as I'm forced to do things in life. I don't want anything from life as life is nothing but suffering to me

 

[LaVieEnRose]

You can't always think your way out of strong feelings. Death should be easily embraced for me too! But our natural aversion to it is deeply embedded in our psychology.

 

[divinemistress36]

Some people seem to just die so easily where the rest of us have to stay and suffer so much

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish suicide is as straightforward as just choosing to never wake again, it's cruel to me how people have to struggle so much to die, having the option to easily die in a painless way would be such a relief for me. But anyway best wishes.

 

[FrownyFace]

I wish suicide is as straightforward as just choosing to never wake again, it's cruel to me how people have to struggle so much to die, having the option to easily die in a painless way would be such a relief for me. But anyway best wishes.

Seriously, if I could just have a button to press and have it be over. There's too many terrifying factors to suicide, like permanent damage (probably my biggest fear) and of course fighting SI.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

I feel like I should be able to logically conclude that I should take the risk at a CTB attempt and do the attempt hoping that I succeed in it. After all, think about it like this, many people say that they would endure so much suffering for a billion dollars. I see eternal peace as worth more than a billion dollars as having eternal peace isn't something that money can buy. So then, why... why do I have to be so scared at actually killing myself? Many people would probably kill others for a billion dollars so why don't I have the courage to kill myself for something that's significantly greater than a billion dollars? I don't get it. Logically I should be able to risk it all to kill myself...

I get that .

Also I fear failing a suicide attempt and remaining alive but in a worse condition. That's what is holding me back

They made guaranteed suicide methods into crimes precisely to put everyone into this trap and in the evil prison

 

[Red Moon]

The SI really suck, I felt like jumping on the train tracks last week but something was holding me back and I wasn't ready yet. I wish suicide was easier.

I'm stuck here for the fear of failure and lack of options at the moment.

 

[Forever Sleep]

We don't risk debilitating risks when we play the lottery though- unless we're dumb enough to put all we own on it. Suicide does come with legitimate risks, which it seems sensible to fear because we could end up making things worse for ourselves. I reckon, if it was as simple as making the decision and being able to obtain a 100% effective and relatively peaceful method, it would be less complicated.