I'm scared to die, but i need to kill myself.

[SilverFog]

How to I loose my fear of death, because I really want to kill myself, but I'm scared of pain/death. I have my method and location all planned out but I'm just really scared to do it. I deserve to die and I know that but I can't bring myself to do it. I feel empty and I've been abandoned by most people in my life. I got no job, no hoes, and no plans for my future, how can I just suck it up and pull the trigger. (also can you get a gun through U.S. state lines and if so how, I'd prefer to do it legally but whatever works)

 

[junko]

I don't think there's a concrete way to get rid of the fear of death / survival instinct, outside of alcohol or drugs. And even then, it's still there. Just quieter.

I can relate, though. Am in the same position. Attempting to work through survival instinct by getting shit faced drunk. Unfortunately it's taking forever to actually get to that point even though I'm drinking on an empty stomach.

As for getting a gun across state lines, I'd be very careful. I'm not well educated on gun laws, but I know that's a very risky situation and could land you in hot water even if you attempt to do it legally. Just be careful, if you can.

Best of luck. I'm sorry life has gotten you to this point.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

I couldn't imagine doing it without alcohol.

 

[halleyscomet]

you can't get rid of that fear i'm afraid. it's hard wired into our brains, otherwise i think most people would have ctb already.
i doubt those who have successfully ctb felt no fear, they most likely pushed it down enough for them to pull through.
we are not meant to want to die, we are biological beings it's against everything out body was made for it's very difficult to shake that.

i do hope that you get at least one good thing no matter what you decide to do, you've been through a lot, you deserve some slack. <3

 

[EternalDreams]

I don't have any advice as I feel the same way as you too. Even under the influence of something the survival instinct or the idea of still needing to live still kicks in. It's infuriating.

Hugs.

 

[Demian]

How to I loose my fear of death, because I really want to kill myself, but I'm scared of pain/death. I have my method and location all planned out but I'm just really scared to do it. I deserve to die and I know that but I can't bring myself to do it. I feel empty and I've been abandoned by most people in my life. I got no job, no hoes, and no plans for my future, how can I just suck it up and pull the trigger. (also can you get a gun through U.S. state lines and if so how, I'd prefer to do it legally but whatever works)

When I attempted suicide I didn't do it hastily, but I put a deadline on it to make sure it was what I really wanted. Unfortunately I survived.

Is that a picture of you from Silent Hill 2?

 

[SilverFog]

Yeah I became a big fan last year, I'm waiting for the Silent Hill 2 remake this year, then I can kill myself lol. It's also why I want to kill myself across state lines, I want to die in Centralia Pennsylvania in order to feel like I'm there, it seems so calm there and I won't have to deal with other people. I obsess over shit a lot it's bad.

 

[grahf]

I'm sorry about your situation, I hope you find peace

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case I don't see death as something to fear as I believe it to simply be eternal nothingness, it's like an dreamless and eternal sleep where all is permanently forgotten about. What I fear is this hellish existence instead, especially as there is no limit as to how torturous it can get, I find comfort in the eternal absence of existence, only ceasing to exist is desirable to me. But anyway best wishes, I hope that you find what you search for.

 

[UKscotty]

We all fear death or we'd be gone from this world. You are not alone.

 

[rozeske]

I don't think we ever lose it, it's engraved in us. It just will come down to how much we are tired of this life to make the jump on to the other side.

 

[surroundedbydemons]

The fear of death can be quite overwhelming, but it is a natural instinct.

Even the most capable soldiers can suppress fear only to a certain extent. They cannot completely eliminate it, and the fear eventually surpasses their threshold.


~~~
As for Silent Hill 2, I wish they could at least disclose the release date... I also wanted to play the game...

 

[unabletocope]

I'm tense about suicide and the implications it will have on my family but I need to die, I am too much of a trainwreck and there is a certain point in life where it becomes impossible to put yourself right

 

[YosemiteGrrl]

I'm tense about suicide and the implications it will have on my family but I need to die, I am too much of a trainwreck and there is a certain point in life where it becomes impossible to put yourself right

I agree. I'm in the same place. I hear you.