Venting I'm scared that if I get too close to someone I'll hurt them.

[aWeeBitTired]

I'm an alright dude by all accounts but I have cultivated such regressed issues that I feel that if I get into either a platonically close or--especially--romantically close relationship, I'll only off-load my own trauma onto another human being.

It makes me feel stuck, as though no matter how badly I could want certain things from others, my own internalized issues would explode onto them and ruin it. My ex broke up with me because she didn't want to "explode" on me. Guess I know what she means now.

I'm being a little too personal and I hope I don't sound hypocritical by literally trauma dumping on strangers now... just thought I'd share my mind.

Spoiler: Poem I made (don't take too seriously)

These dreams of cold hands mock my heart.
It's a beautiful feeling of love beside me.
This golden moment, the perfect sunny day.

I miss it all more than what is said,
These days I feel I'll never live again.
I'm so cold, I'm so cold, I feel so cold.

Desiring hugs—I cannot tell if selfish.
Begging for love (don't talk to me today).
I can't hold my eyes above the ground.

When I stare at you I don't mean to be rude.
These little eyes do what they want to do,
And it's hard for me to smile because it's been so long.

But call me whatever you would like.
I don't love myself in any delight.
There's something wrong in me.

You should rightfully stay away.

 

[R_N]

It can't be helped. People are bound to hurt one another especially when they get too close.

You have good intentions but it isn't always you.

Bonds are a risk if you depend on someone and you aren't able to let go, no matter the hurt. Life gives and takes.

And all we can do is accept that fact.

 

[hermestrimegistus]

Hedgehog's dilemma. I feel like I ghostwrote this post. You're definitely not alone in feeling this way

 

[ultrasharpy123456]

yep.