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Z

zoeping

Member
Dec 20, 2021
14
Yesterday was an awful day. My ex hit me for the first time, he's now in custody and I just want things to end. I can't get hold of SN and the only viable way of doing it soon is to jump. I want to ctb peacefully in my bed. I'm in bits and have no one to talk to, and no options but I know I cannot go on. Only posting on here as everyone seems supportive.
 
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PursuitofWonder

PursuitofWonder

Student
Dec 12, 2020
137
I am so sorry that you're going through such a painful situation. First off, just in general impulsive suicide is no a good idea, rushing it leads to problems. Given that though, about your question: peaceful in your bed suicide is really hard to achieve and is gonna need planning and specific methods such as sn or n. The only quick prep at home methods would be partial or carbon monoxide. Other than that you're kind of left with more physical ones like jumping and drowning. Again I would recommend waiting so you can think about this in a clearer headspace, and then make the informed decision if this is best for you. I hope you can feel better after that tough situation.
 
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Z

zoeping

Member
Dec 20, 2021
14
I am so sorry that you're going through such a painful situation. First off, just in general impulsive suicide is no a good idea, rushing it leads to problems. Given that though, about your question: peaceful in your bed suicide is really hard to achieve and is gonna need planning and specific methods such as sn or n. The only quick prep at home methods would be partial or carbon monoxide. Other than that you're kind of left with more physical ones like jumping and drowning. Again I would recommend waiting so you can think about this in a clearer headspace, and then make the informed decision if this is best for you. I hope you can feel better after that tough situation.
Thank you for your reply. This isn't something that is new. I've had several failed attempts in the past and been planning for a a couple of years. This week is the week I want to go. I thought I was able to get SN but I failed at that. I don't want to die in fear, but jumping seems the only options.
 
PursuitofWonder

PursuitofWonder

Student
Dec 12, 2020
137
Thank you for your reply. This isn't something that is new. I've had several failed attempts in the past and been planning for a a couple of years. This week is the week I want to go. I thought I was able to get SN but I failed at that. I don't want to die in fear, but jumping seems the only options.
I understand that this week is when you want to go, and you've been wanting to ctb for a while. Not having things planned out well makes it likely that you're gonna end up with another failed attempt. Jumping injuries can be really horrible to recover from. Ultimately it's your decision to make, if that's what you decide to do, I just really hope you are able to end up taking some time to think about it clearly. Regardless, I wish you the best in life :)
 
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Crazy4u

Crazy4u

Enlightened
Sep 29, 2021
1,318
your ex is a jerk. I hope he gets what he deserved. Like others mentioned, please don't rush ctb. You don't want to fail again.
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,449
Some people can be very cruel. I understand that it is hard to carry on when you are suffering so much, when things get worse it can be a dreadful feeling. Whatever happens, I wish you the best. I'm sorry you are going through this. More than anything I would like to die peacefully as well. Life is just pain and suffering.
 
9BBN

9BBN

Heaven, send Hell away
Mar 29, 2021
377
Your feelings are valid and your situation sucks. Have you been able to find someone you trust to talk to who gets it? How are you searching?
 
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Z

zoeping

Member
Dec 20, 2021
14
My SN arrived today. It was sooner than I expected. I'm not sure I'm ready yet. I thought I had another week or so.
 
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