I'm running away in 2 hours.

[Marsmia]

I know I've barely posted on here but today is probably my ctb day.

I'm so unbelievably fed up with being on this earth. Only sticking around on the *chance* things would get better.

I've had over 10 hanging attempts but my SI has now built up such a tolerance I start gagging uncontrollably and can't bring myself to step off everything.

I tried slitting once but it was not fun or pleasant.

Buying SN in the UK is also pretty much impossible without someone potentially sending you a link.

I really really wanted to ctb by Sn or something similar. But I can't get any so out of such desperation im running away. I'm going to meet up with my friend but am actually just gonna run away to the woods and die a slow painful death from VSED at 4pm. I might bring my robes string to attempt a hanging but it's so destroyed now and when I attempted with it in the past It always fell from the tree and semi-broke.

Kinda having second thoughts because I know VSED is a horrible way to go but I'm desperate.

 

[auto138491]

VSED would take days! Wishing you peace.

 

[BeautifullyDumb]

What's VSED??

 

[preachyflockk]

I'd strongly urge you to reconsider, VSED could take months and it's very likely you won't get the end you wish for :(

 

[dalemar]

Wishing you all the best!

 

[darksouls]

peace to you

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

What's VSED??

Voluntarily stopping eating & drinking. It's listed here under the "non methods not to try"megathread.

 

[Marsmia]

Minor update: pussied out when friend started messaging me frantically.

Will probably not do it again when a friend is expecting me.

Also considering hanging more or VSED but with water as after some more research VSED without any liquid seems brutal.

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

Minor update: pussied out when friend started messaging me frantically.

Will probably not do it again when a friend is expecting me.

Also considering hanging more or VSED but with water as after some more research VSED without any liquid seems brutal.

I mean, if you just walk off, someone would eventually contact the authorities, then a full investigation & man hunt or woman hunt or they them hunt or whatever would take place. VSED with water would just be VSE. It would take much longer, and it's not like you could still participate in society & just hope no one notices that you're starving to death, you know? I hope you find your peace in this life or the next some other way.

 

[NormallyNeurotic]

Minor update: pussied out when friend started messaging me frantically.

Will probably not do it again when a friend is expecting me.

Also considering hanging more or VSED but with water as after some more research VSED without any liquid seems brutal.

As someone who almost strarved to death, VSED without water is still brutal.

 

[Marsmia]

I mean, if you just walk off, someone would eventually contact the authorities, then a full investigation & man hunt or woman hunt or they them hunt or whatever would take place. VSED with water would just be VSE. It would take much longer, and it's not like you could still participate in society & just hope no one notices that you're starving to death, you know? I hope you find your peace in this life or the next some other way.

Yeah, a hunt begining is a massive fear of mine. I won't bring anything like a phone so that I can't be tracked but it's still a possibility I'm found. I wish I could just hang myself and be done with it but after recent attempts my body just completely refuses to.