I’m really questioning if I’ll ever be able to go through with it.

[NumbForLife]

It was a good time for me to attempt for various reasons these past few days, but I couldn't do it.

 

[enso]

It was a good time for me to attempt for various reasons these past few days, but I couldn't do it.

Hi!

How do you feel after that?

If it's okay to talk about it, what stopped you?

 

[NumbForLife]

Hi!

How do you feel after that?

If it's okay to talk about it, what stopped you?

I feel okay, I'm completely numb regardless of the situation (thanks to anhedonia), but at the same time I'm disappointed. My survival instinct has stopped me for years. I've been passively suicidal since I was 18 and I'm 30 now.

In the past several weeks I got to the point where I bought everything for the method. But I just don't know if I can ever overcome my survival instinct. I wish mine wasn't so insanely strong because I really have nothing to live for in my view.

 

[smirks00ts]

I feel you. I am trying to kill myself today off a bridge but i cannot budge and i can barely breathe

 

[enso]

I feel okay, I'm completely numb regardless of the situation (thanks to anhedonia), but at the same time I'm disappointed. My survival instinct has stopped me for years. I've been passively suicidal since I was 18 and I'm 30 now.

In the past several weeks I got to the point where I bought everything for the method. But I just don't know if I can ever overcome my survival instinct. I wish mine wasn't so insanely strong because I really have nothing to live for in my view.

Thanks for response!

When it comes to overcoming of fear, it is basic settings of limbic system, in most of the cases it's gonna fight to keep you alive. That's why many people use different types of sedative pharmacy drugs to not to change mind in the most important moment.

Almost 12 years of such condition? It seems really harsh...How do you think, what could be things aside from suicide that could make you feel better? Have you tried antidepressants/going to psychiatrist?

 

[NumbForLife]

Thanks for response!

When it comes to overcoming of fear, it is basic settings of limbic system, in most of the cases it's gonna fight to keep you alive. That's why many people use different types of sedative pharmacy drugs to not to change mind in the most important moment.

Almost 12 years of such condition? It seems really harsh...How do you think, what could be things aside from suicide that could make you feel better? Have you tried antidepressants/going to psychiatrist?

I've tried different drugs and brain stimulation for my numbness and various treatments for my physical health issues too. Nothing worked. It's like I'm meant to be stuck with various incurable problems for life.

On top of that I have an issue that's a dealbreaker for a lot of guys, so guys where I live don't want to date me even though I'm a nice person and fairly good looking. It really feels like I was meant to suffer terribly until I die.

I feel you. I am trying to kill myself today off a bridge but i cannot budge and i can barely breathe

I hope things get better for you if you decide to stay.