Originally, I was planning on ctb after the holidays, but now I discover that some family members are visiting after the holidays. In the past when I've really wanted to ctb, I've delayed it if it was around the time of a family member's birthday or if it was Mother's Day or Father's Day. I could've been free long ago and avoided so much pain if I hadn't been considerate.
I know that feeling. I think no matter which date you choose, even if there is no significant thing happening, it won't make much of a difference to your family. If you choose to ctb, you will still be dead in the end whether it will be Christmas eve or a random day in the month.
I personally just considered not to ctb around birthdays.
Are you in the state where you don't think about it anymore?
NeCkDeEp
Experienced
- Nov 30, 2019
- 285
In all honesty I completely relate to this: Christmas, New Years eve and the upcoming 5 months will exist of family members & my birthday but I can't stay alive until June to avoid that it's not too close to anyone's birthday tbh.
The timing will always be messed up for the people you leave behind
The timing will always be messed up for the people you leave behind
Brick In The Wall
2M Or Not 2B.
- Oct 30, 2019
- 25,157
Neckdeep has it right, the timing doesn't really matter as it's going to hurt your loved ones anyways. Suicide is selfish to some extent, but you're aloud to be selfish with it. It's your life after all and it's none of anyones business what you decide to do with it.
Moonicide
ᴘʜᴀꜱᴇꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏᴏɴ
- Nov 19, 2019
- 802
I was planning to ctb before Christmas, but I'm kind of wavering on that decision. All I know is I do not want to make it to the new year, I'm standing by that... Don't think it would be good to ring the New Year with my death. I know I'll hurt people regardless if I do it before or after. Pain is pain, a loss is a loss. What matters the most above anything is you being okay with your decision, and being comfortable with the date you choose to ctb. We've all spent so many years living for others to prevent them from the pain. But we've worn ourselves down, we're suffering, we're hurting too.
Just an opinion, but perhaps around birthdays / Christmas / mother's day are worth avoiding if possible.
But for everything else, I would just do what is right for you.
e.g. "family members are visiting after the holidays" -> I don't think that is reason enough to put off something that you need to do.
Note : As always, please note that I strongly encourage you to seek help with whatever is troubling you. Things may seem hard, but with the right help they can improve. There are many sources of help if you look and reach out. Please seek assistance in any and every way possible. You alone must decide upon your actions and take full responsibility for them, and you should always favour seeking help and keeping out of harm's way.
But for everything else, I would just do what is right for you.
e.g. "family members are visiting after the holidays" -> I don't think that is reason enough to put off something that you need to do.
Note : As always, please note that I strongly encourage you to seek help with whatever is troubling you. Things may seem hard, but with the right help they can improve. There are many sources of help if you look and reach out. Please seek assistance in any and every way possible. You alone must decide upon your actions and take full responsibility for them, and you should always favour seeking help and keeping out of harm's way.
No I always think about it. It'd be disastrous for my family to do it this month.
I won't feel absolutely comfortable ctb til my parents are both dead but that could be many years. It would free me from having to write a note and I could disappear into death without any other family knowing. I don't like them.
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