
nootthenoot
Your local cat lover
- Oct 11, 2022
- 50
Context: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/fucked-up-today-may-push-up-the-date.101817/
Yeah no, shits been getting worst. Now I'm even more excited to ctb this Friday. My counsellor somehow didn't give a shit about me being on the verge of ctb, and instead gave me a bunch of bandage solutions. I can't call my mom to take me to the hospital because she will just yell at me. Dad's unreliable, all my friends can't do much. I'm fucked.
I'm going to be honest with you guys, since this is the only community of people that actually gets it. Part of me wants to be helped. That's the part that is telling everyone about this, and hoping someone will take me seriously enough to tell me to go to the hospital. But another part knows I can't be helped. I'm too deep into depression, and I'm too stubborn to accept any help given to me. I don't even know if getting admitted will help me. At this point suicide is my only option. I welcome this fact, and I accept the fact that this is the only option I have.
Tomorrow after my classes, I'll go out and get some snacks for the big day. Probably will be a bunch of candy, and cup noodles for my last lunch. I want to be a celebration of my life. This will be a final happy moment for me. The darkness deep down will always be there, but I want to feel a fleeting sense of joy. I will also buy a small thing of coffee so I can stay awake tomorrow night. And an early bday present for my little brother ^^
So yeah, I'm basically going to use this as a 'goodbye' thread. I would rather have it more light-hearted than other threads like this here, just because. Anyways any cup noodle recommendations? I'll rather it be something you can microwave, though it doesn't have to be.
Yeah no, shits been getting worst. Now I'm even more excited to ctb this Friday. My counsellor somehow didn't give a shit about me being on the verge of ctb, and instead gave me a bunch of bandage solutions. I can't call my mom to take me to the hospital because she will just yell at me. Dad's unreliable, all my friends can't do much. I'm fucked.
I'm going to be honest with you guys, since this is the only community of people that actually gets it. Part of me wants to be helped. That's the part that is telling everyone about this, and hoping someone will take me seriously enough to tell me to go to the hospital. But another part knows I can't be helped. I'm too deep into depression, and I'm too stubborn to accept any help given to me. I don't even know if getting admitted will help me. At this point suicide is my only option. I welcome this fact, and I accept the fact that this is the only option I have.
Tomorrow after my classes, I'll go out and get some snacks for the big day. Probably will be a bunch of candy, and cup noodles for my last lunch. I want to be a celebration of my life. This will be a final happy moment for me. The darkness deep down will always be there, but I want to feel a fleeting sense of joy. I will also buy a small thing of coffee so I can stay awake tomorrow night. And an early bday present for my little brother ^^
So yeah, I'm basically going to use this as a 'goodbye' thread. I would rather have it more light-hearted than other threads like this here, just because. Anyways any cup noodle recommendations? I'll rather it be something you can microwave, though it doesn't have to be.