I'm pure chaos

[Venus13]

My mental health makes me pure chaos inside. I'm all over the place in my behavior, my feelings, my thoughts. I cannot regulate emotions.

Emotions are unbearable to possess and being me is unbearable. The worst part is I can't pretend to be okay anymore. I can't put on a front. The pressure is at a boiling point and I'm out of control. Does anyone relate to that chaotic feeling? I guess I have borderline or something. How unfortunate.

 

[hungry_ghost]

I feel like that a lot.

I don't really go outside the home, but I feel like if I did, I would end up not being able to maintain my passive exterior and become unhinged in some way.

Like I could become one of those people who's meltdowns in public end up being filmed and going viral.

 

[Venus13]

Like I could become one of those people who's meltdowns in public end up being filmed and going viral.

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who has thought this. I can't watch those videos, I know that internal dysregulation too well.

 

[Cerulea]

My mental health makes me pure chaos inside. I'm all over the place in my behavior, my feelings, my thoughts. I cannot regulate emotions.

Emotions are unbearable to possess and being me is unbearable. The worst part is I can't pretend to be okay anymore. I can't put on a front. The pressure is at a boiling point and I'm out of control. Does anyone relate to that chaotic feeling? I guess I have borderline or something. How unfortunate.

I see you. It isn't a chronic experience for me, which I am grateful for. But it occurs more often than I would like and I find it debilitating. Unbearable is a word that resonates with me. I'm sorry you know that pain.