I'm now 100% sure that I want to die because loneliness is too heavy for me and I feel too exhausted both in my body and in my mind. The only way I ha

[babouflo201223]

I'm now 100% sure that I want to die because loneliness is too heavy for me and I feel more than exhausted both in my body and in my mind. The only way I have to CTB is full suspension, I have everyting ready for that. But after I failed 3 times because of vomiting reflex and SI, I can feel the fear, terrible. And it's not because I don't want to die, it's only because of the pain of full suspension. My God, what can I do to go over that !? I can't stan even a little alcohool quantity, immediately my stomach refuses and I vomit. Benzos don't make me quiet either. If I was sure, 100% sure that the pain is short and to fall into unconsciousness in only a few seconds, but impossible to be sure about that. The position of the knot between ear and eye, with a not constrictive knot, isn't an option, because I don't want to play, I want to die. So, the best position of the knot is behind the head in the middle, I know that. But it's terribly painful. I'm so scared, so scared ! Any suggestion or help will be wekcome. Thank you.

 

[FuneralCry]

I really understand feeling so tired of suffering in this existence, I also just wish to be gone, it always feels so cruel to me how I cannot just have the option to painlessly die in peace. But anyway I hope that you find the freedom you search for, best wishes.