keg-ireland
Member
- May 3, 2024
- 52
I have a chronic disease that has no cure nor treatment to help. Some people can accept the cards they are dealt and adjust. Me? I cannot accept something that has robbed me off my life. For past 12 months or more the depression, agitation and sickness has been relentless. Yes, I'm alive, but im not living.
3 times I tried full suspension hanging. Noose tightened around my neck and all I had to do was kick the stool away. I couldn't do it, I was overcome with fear each time and loosened the noose and went back to rot in my bedroom.
Every day is just the same. Go through hell all day and then sleep for 9 hrs. Strangely I sleep OK and that's the highlight of my new life - sleep.
I guess I'm venting rather than looking for advice. Everyday is a living nightmare and I can't stop it despite having the available means to end it. I wish I could overcome the fear and SI and be free of the daily torture.
Thank you for listening to me.
3 times I tried full suspension hanging. Noose tightened around my neck and all I had to do was kick the stool away. I couldn't do it, I was overcome with fear each time and loosened the noose and went back to rot in my bedroom.
Every day is just the same. Go through hell all day and then sleep for 9 hrs. Strangely I sleep OK and that's the highlight of my new life - sleep.
I guess I'm venting rather than looking for advice. Everyday is a living nightmare and I can't stop it despite having the available means to end it. I wish I could overcome the fear and SI and be free of the daily torture.
Thank you for listening to me.