Venting I’m not allowed to reach 25

[four_walls_girl]

My brain is certain in telling me I cannot age past 25. I think it's the whole "your brain fully develops by then which makes you a proper adult" thing which I've heard is sorta bs but it's definitely latched onto the concept of 25 being close to 30 which is basically 40 which basically means I'm almost old.

but idk, I'm going on one final holiday with my family and then I'm gonna buy some sn, but the question is should I buy it in January or closer to October next year when my 25th birthday is? Obviously not too close cause shipping time, but if I have the option I feel I'm just gonna end up taking it all then on the day I get it anyways.

I'm also a little scared of it suddenly being unavailable to buy anywhere, especially cause I live in the uk. But I'm paying for the most of the holiday so I have to be wise about money and shipping is expensive and I don't even have that much saved up right now :/

 

[StupidCat]

I was scared to turn 20 until I did and nothing changed.
I wasted my teens anyways so there was nothing to lose after all. It's all the same.

I rather buy the SN sooner than later, and keep it somewhere safe where no one can find it. I read people are getting welfare checks for buying SN in the UK, so be cautious.

 

[four_walls_girl]

I was scared to turn 20 until I did and nothing changed.
I wasted my teens anyways so there was nothing to lose after all. It's all the same.

I rather buy the SN sooner than later, and keep it somewhere safe where no one can find it. I read people are getting welfare checks for buying SN in the UK, so be cautious.

Yeah I've been looking around and the og website is gone :/// if police check I can just say I wanna start my own cooking business :D

But literally my entire life from teen to adulthood has been spent in my bedroom, it was sorta chill then but now everyone around me has a life and I'm still doing the same shit, probably will do if I pass 25, probably why I'm so hesitant to lol.

 

[bankai]

I don't think SN is that expensive.Realistically, I think if you're in the UK at this point in time you are going to get welfare check.Buy it and hide it well. But I'm not sure if it will be confiscated on the way.

 

[Spectre]

I'm the same, though I do wanna graduate my undergrad first. For some reason. So it'll probably be 25 and a few months

 

[csdfghjjk_user]

I was scared to be an adult and of the future my whole life. And idk, it kinda just made it worse for me refusing to grow up? Like I feel it made me fuck up my life actually by not accepting getting older and putting in the time to set myself up for a good future you know. Age is a just a number and nothing changes and the sun will still come up the next day. I didn't want to hear that at the time. I refused to and didn't get it.


I felt last december that that's it, my life is over. And it wasn't. I mean it was in a way that I am depressed and living at my parents since then and feel like the biggest failure. But time moves on? Last year I felt, I have no other option than to quit my job and go traveling. And it has to happen LATEST in jan 2024. Why was I set on that idea so much? Why did it HAVE to be in that time frame? I somehow couldn't wait to prepare it more? And now living with my parents I feel ridiculous, bc I might have burned some bridges but all those options I was considering back in october are still options to consider now and they are not running away.

And today I got a little bit of hope, well who knows what life might still bring the next years. I have a healthy body, could be worth a try to turn things around?

What makes you feel like u can't age past 25?

I'm the same, though I do wanna graduate my undergrad first. For some reason. So it'll probably be 25 and a few months

What is your undergrad in? And if I can give u any advice, finding a part time job in the industry while studying really helps setting yourself up for a job after uni. And a change of environment and people can bring some new perspective. I know ppl that hated uni bc of all the exam stress and then thrived in their work place.

Yeah I've been looking around and the og website is gone :/// if police check I can just say I wanna start my own cooking business :D

But literally my entire life from teen to adulthood has been spent in my bedroom, it was sorta chill then but now everyone around me has a life and I'm still doing the same shit, probably will do if I pass 25, probably why I'm so hesitant to lol.

Probably yes except u change things in your life. What do you think could give u a little bit of a feeling that u "have a life" too?

 

[four_walls_girl]

What makes you feel like u can't age past 25?


Probably yes except u change things in your life. What do you think could give u a little bit of a feeling that u "have a life" too?

noo this is too philosophical for my brain to think about rn

But I think it's a whole adult vs kid thing? As a kid people don't give you big responsibilities and they aren't distant (if there's good people in your life who aren't neglectful). You sort of have a narrower worldview. Nothing else to worry about except dumb kid stuff. Everything just sort of magically happens around you and it fixes most simple problems for you.

At 25 you're rightfully expected to do things for yourself now, gotta get a job to live and make those magical things happen on your own and you're constantly questioning why but it doesn't change how it works.

My problem is I don't want a life like other adults have at all actually, but I still feel guilt about not being like them anyways? Very much I have not grown up, and not in a "haha still a kid at heart" way, in a "I mentally have regressed somehow and it feels permanent". Ig I really don't want to cause it hurts too much to not be a kid anymore. I just wanna go to the beach with my mum and go shopping with my nana and play outside and let someone else organise the budget. like, that's simple enough right? Can't that just be how I chose to live?

It's a very selfish reason lol, but I just can't handle adult life, but it's also not fair on my family since atp you're a parasite if you don't change. That's why it's easier to just call it quits while still considered slightly young.

 

[csdfghjjk_user]

Who decides the magic 25 number? Who expects that actually? I know ppl expecting that already at 18 or 21. By that u are already too old. The older I get the more vague this "adult" number gets and it turns out, no one actually knows what they are doing. I hear ppl that they only started to feel like actual adults when their parents died.

Who says you are on a time line switch and it's not a gradual process?

Who says you can't go to the beach with ur mum at 26 and build sand castles?

Who says you have to "do the boring regular adult route" to be an adult. Who says you can't work for 8 months to save up and then travel for 4 months and repeat. I've seen people do that. I saw people finishing their degrees and becoming dive instructors, opening cafés or changing to become yoga teachers. Are they happier with it long-term, I have no idea. You can treat your adult life as in "get the job, house and save for retirement". But if it's making u miserable, no one is stopping you from finding an alternative. I can't determine what's best for you. You can treat your adult life like gained freedom. You can be the mysterious aunt who always travels. Obv the travel and "irresponsible jobs" are quite risky but hey, might make some cool experiences on the way before calling it quits.

I get u, I really do, but also u know u don't have to do big jumps. It's not a switch that u turn and suddenly you feel like an adult. You are just doing more and more things and suddenly you look back and feel oh, wow, look at that. And it feels really nice to be independent and be able to provide for urself. Adult life may suck, sure, but it's in ur hands what u make of it. Have you tried therapy?

 

[four_walls_girl]

Who decides the magic 25 number? Who expects that actually? I know ppl expecting that already at 18 or 21. the older I get the more vague this "adult" number gets and it turns out, no one actually knows what they are doing. I hear ppl that they only started to feel like adults when their parents died.

Who says you are on a time line switch and it's not a gradual process?

Who says you can't go to the beach with ur mum at 26 and build sand castles?

I get u, I really do, but know u don't have to do big jumps. And it feels really nice to be independent and be able to provide for urself. Adult life sucks, sure, but it's in ur hands to find fun and good moments. Have you tried therapy?

Wow sobbing ouchie

lol yeah we did therapy at like 15 sorta, but I think it was more a shitty welfare check cause I was 'homeschooled' for my last year. They diagnosed me with social anxiety and that's it :D Despite one of the people I saw there literally going "have you looked into autism?" And then dropping it completely.

Therapy now doesn't sound very appealing, I had a panic attack last time I went to the doctors just cause she saw my scars. I have a very big habit of embarrassing myself whenever I open my mouth to talk about myself to other people. Maybe it's a change thing again. If I go to therapy then it'll work and I'll have to change everything and get out of my room and back out into society yikes

 

[RoseGirl]

There's no real time when u need to die. Uhm IMO just do it whenever your comfortable. Like I mean it does feel weird to live past whatever age you wanted to die at but like... Idk just do it when ur ready.
I'm noticing a trend where a large portion of the userbase is from the uk... I wonder if it's due to it having poor and unreasonable mental health services

 

[csdfghjjk_user]

Wow sobbing ouchie

lol yeah we did therapy at like 15 sorta, but I think it was more a shitty welfare check cause I was 'homeschooled' for my last year. They diagnosed me with social anxiety and that's it :D Despite one of the people I saw there literally going "have you looked into autism?" And then dropping it completely.

Therapy now doesn't sound very appealing, I had a panic attack last time I went to the doctors just cause she saw my scars. I have a very big habit of embarrassing myself whenever I open my mouth to talk about myself to other people. Maybe it's a change thing again. If I go to therapy then it'll work and I'll have to change everything and get out of my room and back out into society yikes

Oh no therapy might work and my life could improve, what a terrible outcome ;)

 

[four_walls_girl]

View attachment 166905

There's no real time when u need to die. Uhm IMO just do it whenever your comfortable. Like I mean it does feel weird to live past whatever age you wanted to die at but like... Idk just do it when ur ready.
I'm noticing a trend where a large portion of the userbase is from the uk... I wonder if it's due to it having poor and unreasonable mental health services

Beautiful this is going into the photo gallery fs

Lmao 100% uk mental health is fuckeddd they absolutely do not gaf. Literally recently a mutual tried to od on xanxas to the point she was in a coma, they only kept her inpatient for a bit and she managed to steal and store all the paracetamol they'd given her and they had no idea and just sent her home. She tried again yesterday on sleeping pills and they asked her if she was gonna try again when she woke up lol.

 

[csdfghjjk_user]

I feel like if u reach a low point u are just treated like a number. Im not from UK but I've been at a mental health clinic in Germany and one of the patients answered one of the questionary they give u about suicide, that she feels v strongly about it. And she got send into a "glass room" with two other people "on watch". A woman next to her was constantly vomitting in her purse. The guides were not doing anything about it. And she said that this whole experience was so traumatising she won't talk about suicide ever again.

 

[StupidCat]

But literally my entire life from teen to adulthood has been spent in my bedroom, it was sorta chill then but now everyone around me has a life and I'm still doing the same shit, probably will do if I pass 25, probably why I'm so hesitant to lol.

If your parents don't really mind then why would you. Heh. My cousin still lives with her parents at 34.
Well I guess that really depends on your parents, but I know some parents don't mind having a neet daughter for all their lives. It's a different story with males though.
There are societal expectations indeed, but society also expects you to not die by your own hands.

 

[Kali_Yuga13]

the concept of 25 being close to 30 which is basically 40 which basically means I'm almost old.

Once I was born, being alive makes one subject to death. So I was on the brink of death since my first breath.