Venting I'm more determined than ever to kill myself

[KillingPain267]

It's my only goal in life. I just use my last strength to prepare everything.

 

[flutebloom]

Good luck I hope it works out for you

 

[AllAloneAndSad]

Has something changed or happened that makes you feel like this?

 

[KillingPain267]

Has something changed or happened that makes you feel like this?

I thought I felt better, but now I miss my old life again and I cry. It's too painful. It's the same as last year all over again.

 

[AllAloneAndSad]

I cry every day. I miss my old life too. But I am the one the one to blame. I take full responsibility for getting here and wanting to CTB. I am the one that ruined my old life and the unconditional love that I had and the job that I had. It is now all over for me. It is all my doing.

 

[KillingPain267]

I cry every day. I miss my old life too. But I am the one the one to blame. I take full responsibility for getting here and wanting to CTB. I am the one that ruined my old life and the unconditional love that I had and the job that I had. It is now all over for me. It is all my doing.

Same. Nevertheless the pain of loss is real, despite it being my fault. The only thing good is then that it's even more the better that I disappear.

 

[AllAloneAndSad]

Same. Nevertheless the pain of loss is real, despite it being my fault. The only thing good is then that it's even more the better that I disappear.

I am in the same situation. My head won't let me rest and my heart is broken into billions of pieces that do not allow me to function. It is my fault and I know it now. It is my doing. I am to blame. I will never have it back.

 

[AllAloneAndSad]

Tell me what is going on? I hope to CTB between tomorrow night and Monday at a hotel.

 

[terum2k]

I don't want to be alone with the same feeling... I have so much guilt and shame. I want my old life back too, but know I destroyed it. There are no second chances and it will never be the same, she deserved so much better and it breaks me that I was the problem all along. I was so cruel and evil but also blind and delusional....

 

[KillingPain267]

Tell me what is going on? I hope to CTB between tomorrow night and Monday at a hotel.

I'm crying in sorrow. I can't ctb just yet, so I don't know what to do for patience. Not even drugs work anymore. I wish you a safe journey though.

 

[AllAloneAndSad]

I'm crying in sorrow. I can't ctb just yet, so I don't know what to do for patience. Not even drugs work anymore. I wish you a safe journey though.

Take it a minute at a time. I remember sitting in the bathtub filled with hot water thinking about my life...2 hours later, I got out of the tub since it had been cold for a long time. I just did not realize that I was in the tub for 2 hours.