Venting I'm lost on what else to do

[KHU]

My mom and my big sister decided to turn their backs on me but they're all I have.
It's fucking stupid how they turn something small into an excuse to punish me.

I wore my sister's shirt on accident
Shes 21 and now I have to somehow pay for it when its not damaged.

I wore it for school which is virtual and I took it off right after. I didn't know and apologize but my mother insisted it's consequences and my ego is talking.

I don't have an ego, I can't afford to have one. I feel hopeless this year has already sucked and knowing that my mom doesn't give a shit about my mental health when I never wait to make it clear that I'd always be there for her.

To support her and her fucking book. She makes a childrens book but doesn't even care about her own child's health? Fucking ironic. I never get to tell my side of things.
I feel like venting here is pointless now that I'm older. But I don't want to talk to a void anymore, I don't want to kill myself. The thought of not waking up terrified me but the thoughts are so fucking strong and I don't know

 

[idontlikethehouse44]

I can relate, my own family is also against me. Ignorant parents often see the action of their children but never the "why?"

Those parents are the most dangerous of them all, they're negligent in this twisted way where while they are physically there, they aren't here mentally, and it makes it look off and uncanny.

Those parents have a tendency of scolding their children, making them a black sheep, as if that's their choice and not the parents' fault.

My own family uses me as some kind of slave, she literally has two other children to order her yet she always picks me. I feel dirty everytime I do something for her.