I’m lost and super tired

[karmaisabitch]

One minute I think about SN the next minute drowning, yesterday water poisoning, I feel like I'm getting tired thinking about the resources it's taking all my energy and I need to be strong to go through and kms. They have a 10 y/o died in the state building by suicide, 10 years old and I'm 36 can't find the resources. This boy was trapped in the state building before moving to the foster home and managed to succeed and we're here afraid to fail!! Very weird. I"m going to start by water poisoning. Let's see if this works! Tomorrow is the day!!

 

[4_science]

Children´s brain are wired differently. It might have been a tragic accident. They act on impulses and don´t think of consequences. They also use their imagination to overcome fear or to cope. (If I think I am an eagle and just jump I will become the eagle. I have seen it in movies are cartoons). They live in the here and now and can only go back to what they have seen or learnt. They often fail to determine danger. Might have been suicide or not. Don´t beat yourself up over it. You are not ten years old anymore and way more aware. It gets harder.

 

[karmaisabitch]

I'm very determined in my situation dying better than living. I'm in severe pain missing my son is killing me slowly everyday! You're right children and teenagers they just " do it" I think I should too. Thinking about too much without actions is not helping and it's overwhelming! Thank you tho!

 

[Lifeaffirmingchoice]

One minute I think about SN the next minute drowning, yesterday water poisoning, I feel like I'm getting tired thinking about the resources it's taking all my energy and I need to be strong to go through and kms. They have a 10 y/o died in the state building by suicide, 10 years old and I'm 36 can't find the resources. This boy was trapped in the state building before moving to the foster home and managed to succeed and we're here afraid to fail!! Very weird. I"m going to start by water poisoning. Let's see if this works! Tomorrow is the day!!

I'm sorry you're going through this. My personal ideal method is using a firearm. It's easy and reliable and easy to access in your country.

 

[4_science]

Missing your son you said. Is he still alive? If so he will be the one to suffer when you are gone.. I am not trying to talk you out. Just maybe you could leave a note for him.
Again: this is not a competition. Comparing yourself to others is never fair or a good outcome for anyone. <3

 

[Lifeaffirmingchoice]

Missing your son you said. Is he still alive? If so he will be the one to suffer when you are gone.. I am not trying to talk you out. Just maybe you could leave a note for him.
Again: this is not a competition. Comparing yourself to others is never fair or a good outcome for anyone. <3

I believe her son passed away and she is grieving.

 

[4_science]

I didn´t know that. That is terrible and I am very sorry she has to go through it.

 

[karmaisabitch]

Missing your son you said. Is he still alive? If so he will be the one to suffer when you are gone.. I am not trying to talk you out. Just maybe you could leave a note for him.
Again: this is not a competition. Comparing yourself to others is never fair or a good outcome for anyone. <3

My son passed away

I'm sorry you're going through this. My personal ideal method is using a firearm. It's easy and reliable and easy to access in your country.

I know it's just I never used one. I don't know how to even carry them!? But I did hear about his painless this method..

 

[4_science]

I am so sorry for you. I know how it feels to lose somebody. My son killed my best friend. The only one I ever had. I hope you find peace or any comfort at all. I´m also here if you want to talk.

 

[Lifeaffirmingchoice]

My son passed away

I know it's just I never used one. I don't know how to even carry them!? But I did hear about his painless this method..

There's nothing to using a shotgun. In theory someone could buy one, load it with ammo, aim it into their mouth and be done. Ofc it's ideal to practice at a range first and even take lessons, but it's so foolproof that even first timers should be successful.

That said, I'm not encouraging or condoning anyone to use a shotgun or other firearm to harm themselves or others.

 

[karmaisabitch]

Missing your son you said. Is he still alive? If so he will be the one to suffer when you are gone.. I am not trying to talk you out. Just maybe you could leave a note for him.
Again: this is not a competition. Comparing yourself to others is never fair or a good outcome for anyone. <3

I

I am so sorry for you. I know how it feels to lose somebody. My son killed my best friend. The only one I ever had. I hope you find peace or any comfort at all. I´m also here if you want to talk.

Your son killed your best friend? Wow! My son was killed by his friends! This life is nothing but a zoo! Just FYI I died the minute my son died. I'm nothing but an empty body that needs a funeral. I miss my son so much it hurts me a lot so it's better for me to go too. Thank you so much for your support!

 

[Lifeaffirmingchoice]

I

Your son killed your best friend? Wow! My son was killed by his friends! This life is nothing but a zoo! Just FYI I died the minute my son died. I'm nothing but an empty body that needs a funeral. I miss my son so much it hurts me a lot so it's better for me to go too. Thank you so much for your support!

That's so awful, I hope the killers are brought to justice though nothing will ever bring back your son. I think you said he was gifted, he probably had more potential than his killers and nothing will ever make up for the injustice of that. You're not wrong for wanting to leave this hellish existence.

 

[4_science]

I

Your son killed your best friend? Wow! My son was killed by his friends! This life is nothing but a zoo! Just FYI I died the minute my son died. I'm nothing but an empty body that needs a funeral. I miss my son so much it hurts me a lot so it's better for me to go too. Thank you so much for your support!

I can relate to that feeling. I think I died with him but they didn´t burry me. It has been 13 months since he passed and it doesn´t hurt any less. I just feel empty and left behind.

 

[karmaisabitch]

I'm so sorry for your loss! Same here! That's why I'm not scared to die. I went to counseling for my family I didn't want to go but it's not helpful. None will understand how losing a loved one can be very very painful unless they have experienced the same so I guess you know

There's nothing to using a shotgun. In theory someone could buy one, load it with ammo, aim it into their mouth and be done. Ofc it's ideal to practice at a range first and even take lessons, but it's so foolproof that even first timers should be successful.

That said, I'm not encouraging or condoning anyone to use a shotgun or other firearm to harm themselves or others.

It's fine please don't feel that you're encouraging me I'm not thinking about it I'm doing it regardless. I'll google the gun shop around me and see if I can visit them tomorrow.. will let you know

 

[Lifeaffirmingchoice]

I'm so sorry for your loss! Same here! That's why I'm not scared to die. I went to counseling for my family I didn't want to go but it's not helpful. None will understand how losing a loved one can be very very painful unless they have experienced the same so I guess you know

It's fine please don't feel that you're encouraging me I'm not thinking about it I'm doing it regardless. I'll google the gun shop around me and see if I can visit them tomorrow.. will let you know

Yes, please keep us updated. I and others in the forum are here for you and would love to give you some words of comfort before you ctb if you choose to go ahead with it and if our support is something you'd want.

 

[karmaisabitch]

That's so awful, I hope the killers are brought to justice though nothing will ever bring back your son. I think you said he was gifted, he probably had more potential than his killers and nothing will ever make up for the injustice of that. You're not wrong for wanting to leave this hellish existence.

Thank you so much! The case still open under investigation they will get caught but I won't be here to celebrate

 

[Lifeaffirmingchoice]

Thank you so much! The case still open under investigation they will get caught but I won't be here to celebrate

Maybe you'll be celebrating with your dear son

That's so great they will get caught for sure, must give you a small sense of peace and closure with this hellish world

 

[karmaisabitch]

Maybe you'll be celebrating with your dear son

That's so great they will get caught for sure, must give you a small sense of peace and closure with this hellish world

Thank you!! I hate this life and I hate America! They took my son away from me.

 

[Lifeaffirmingchoice]

Thank you!! I hate this life and I hate America! They took my son away from me.

So understandable. I do love that we have guns here though lol at least they give us an easy way out which is more than most countries

 

[karmaisabitch]

So understandable. I do love that we have guns here though lol at least they give us an easy way out which is more than most countries

That's your method?

 

[Lifeaffirmingchoice]

That's your method?

My preferred method, yes. I have a lot of experience with firearms.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand feeling so tired of suffering in this cruel existence, I really wish it's not so difficult for one to die on their own terms, I really envy those who managed to succeed in ctb. But anyway best wishes, I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for.

 

[karmaisabitch]

My preferred method, yes. I have a lot of experience with firearms.

I understand feeling so tired of suffering in this cruel existence, I really wish it's not so difficult for one to die on their own terms, I really envy those who managed to succeed in ctb. But anyway best wishes, I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for.

Thank you so much!