Venting im kind of jealous of my friend(s)

[lukewarmlemon4de]

this isn't a very heavy (?) rant

i was having one of my mood swings again lmao and i realised just how perfect my friend is compared to me, they're one of those people that are effortlessly approachable and polite, they seem to always say the right thing, even if they're having a difficult time they convincingly put on a happy face (which a lot of my friends do actually), they're insanely hardworking too on top of all that (it sounds horrible and immature but they're getting ahead of me in academics in subjects I "pride" in because of how hardworking they are) and I can't help but resent them for that sometimes. I have basically no social skills, apparently I stare at people a lot (I try not to), I look miserable all the time even when I'm not miserable, I am absolutely incapable of putting up a happy face when I'm not which I fucking hate, I sometimes (when my mood really swings) don't understand how people can like me, genuinely I feel like such an unlikeable and miserable person sometimes and I can't even pretend to other people that im not like other people can. but it's fine ig haha


edit: just realised that this probably belongs in off topic, not here, sorry!

 

[redmourningdove]

I guarantee your friend is not perfect. They may have different strengths and weaknesses, but those skills do NOT come naturally. I have pretty bad untreated ADHD and I can be SUPER awkward in conversations, but I've become more approachable over time just by observing others and spending a lot of time in work, college, and urban environments with dozens and dozens of strangers. Some people get social cues more naturally than others, but a lot of it is just brute forcing past that anxious part of you that wants to curl up into a shell.
The fact that you're already so self aware about your presentation and your emotions is a massive strength that most people don't have, and with enough practice, people like you actually end up becoming the most likeable people. In the mean time, take care of yourself. Don't feed your anxiety too much by comparing yourself to your friend. I'm sure you have amazing qualities too

 

[lukewarmlemon4de]

I guarantee your friend is not perfect. They may have different strengths and weaknesses, but those skills do NOT come naturally. I have pretty bad untreated ADHD and I can be SUPER awkward in conversations, but I've become more approachable over time just by observing others and spending a lot of time in work, college, and urban environments with dozens and dozens of strangers. Some people get social cues more naturally than others, but a lot of it is just brute forcing past that anxious part of you that wants to curl up into a shell.
The fact that you're already so self aware about your presentation and your emotions is a massive strength that most people don't have, and with enough practice, people like you actually end up becoming the most likeable people. In the mean time, take care of yourself. Don't feed your anxiety too much by comparing yourself to your friend. I'm sure you have amazing qualities too

haha thanks, I realise I should probably work on how I interact with ppl
I'm feeling good rn so I'll probably try tmr