I'm spending my days playing videogames. I don't go outside much. I would want to do something else, but everything feels so empty. When I play games I don't really feel much joy I just find something difficult enough to make me angry and forget how sad I'm. I had daily headaches and insomnia recently and it suck more thna I thought.
I don't have much sense of accomplishment from anything and I never had, even when I was doing better in life I always felt like I have zero worth and that I'm one slip up from everyone hating me. I used to do cool stuff, like draw pretty ok, but when I finished drawing even when I really liked it I just feel nothing, maybe my dopamine is broken idk.
I just want to skip this life. I would much preffer nothingness than this. Although what I would want the most is another chance in life, maybe with better luck and less broken brain.
There were few times I was very close to death and at those moments I felt as much at peace as I was scared. There was this relief, that it is finally going to happen.
Sorry if my rambling is too incoherent, I feel like I have too much mental fog lately to express myself normally.
I don't have much sense of accomplishment from anything and I never had, even when I was doing better in life I always felt like I have zero worth and that I'm one slip up from everyone hating me. I used to do cool stuff, like draw pretty ok, but when I finished drawing even when I really liked it I just feel nothing, maybe my dopamine is broken idk.
I just want to skip this life. I would much preffer nothingness than this. Although what I would want the most is another chance in life, maybe with better luck and less broken brain.
There were few times I was very close to death and at those moments I felt as much at peace as I was scared. There was this relief, that it is finally going to happen.
Sorry if my rambling is too incoherent, I feel like I have too much mental fog lately to express myself normally.
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