NSFW I'm just a miserable incel

[Agent_PS]

Long rant or vent, includes stupid nsfw stuff, ignore if u hate reading about miserable/pathetic guys

I'm a 22 yo kissless virgin so by definition I'm an incel. I don't think women actively hates me but no one has ever shown any sort of romantic or sexual interest towards me. I have huge insecurity and anxiety problem but I try my best to not show them in public, hell I even force myself to be more social than I really am. I have joined uni clubs, attended some dating events and so on but nahh. I remember back in 2024, I went to this event and I was speaking to a nice girl but after a while her friends came and sort of just snatched her away before I could even ask for her socials or anything, the look of disgust her friends gave me, I still remember vividly.


When I was 19, I proposed to a girl who I had known for more than a year and we were best friends, she accepted but then she went to another country for uni, I had told her that LDR is tough and that I will do everything to make it work, she said she was ready to make it work too. I took her words but she ended up cheating on me after just a month even tho I had the acceptance letter from that uni and would've gone to her had she kept her promise of being a trustworthy partner. To make matters worse, during our breakup she told me she had masturbated thinking of the other guy and that was the last. Her first kiss was that guy and I believe her first everything was someone else, the hug she gave me before going to the US is the only instance of physical intimacy I have experienced from someone I was interested in.


Girls scare me tbh, they make my stomach turn. Anytime my brain tries to register that someone's looking cute or pretty in the sense that I might be interested, I sort of just beat up my brain. Now I have trained myself to the extent that I autoreject at every turn. I'm a 5'7", average build south asian guy, I look 5/10 on my best days and I have a small penis, so it's highly unlikely that anyone will ever approach me on their own. I despise dating apps so I won't be registering for one anytime soon.

I love my family especially my younger sister because she actually looks upto me or at least the facade I have and I hope she never has to look into my soul because it's hideous . All my female classmates from back in high school held me in good regards so that's nice too. I can very easily give people honest compliments and that never bothers me, I'm a straightforward guy in some sense. I've always been a people pleaser, a nice guy or whatever u wanna call it. But the truth is I'm disgusting. I'm a guilt filled pathetic soulless meat puppet, my brain doesn't listen to me.

Everything aside, my hatred for myself, my body, my entire being isn't really what makes me unlikable on the outside because I hide them as much as I can, the facade I have is of a very chill average dude. So why I have had no luck with anyone well idk. I have sort of just given up and I plan to ctb when I turn 27, till then I will just drown in misery, be a useless son to my parents, maybe somehow get my engineering degree and make something out of it idk. Most of all I just want to be self sufficient, get a cat, get an apartment of my own and then die when I turn 27(unless something happens which can change the trajectory of my life).

So yeah I'm just a miserable incel.

 

[derpyderpins]

First off I'm very sorry you've gotten to this rough point and I think it's good that you are reflecting so honestly.

I don't know that you are by definition an incel just for lacking experience. It took me a long time to actually have a relationship but I know a couple people had been interested that I didn't reciprocate with.

You had someone who was interested just 3 years ago. Yes, she betrayed you, but she was initially interested. It was awful for her to do you like that, and you have a right to be hurt. Long distance when you didn't have a physical relationship beforehand had little chance of success, but she should have properly broken things off if she was interested in someone else.

Dating apps are terrible. You're right to hate them. (Although a dating app is how I met my wife, overall the experience sucks).

Girls scare me tbh, they make my stomach turn. Anytime my brain tries to register that someone's looking cute or pretty in the sense that I might be interested, I sort of just beat up my brain. Now I have trained myself to the extent that I autoreject at every turn. I'm a 5'7", average build south asian guy, I look 5/10 on my best days and I have a small penis, so it's highly unlikely that anyone will ever approach me on their own.

This is the crux of it, right? The root of the issue. And I can understand it. I never felt accepted in high school, and felt the derisive sneers and cold rejections for my being too much of a nerd or whatever else made me undesirable. Pretty girls with everyone interested in them wield so much power in the dynamic, even if they are kind and don't intend to abuse it, that it is intimidating when your experience to this point has been betrayal. Like the rejection I received, you were sent a message that you weren't good or valuable enough.

We tend to think of the dating market on a linear scale. We rate from 1-10. If you have been rejected by an 8, you must be below an 8. A painful rejection, betrayal even - like you felt, must mean there was a large gap from you to the other guy, so you must be a 5/10 at best as you say. At least, that's the logic, it doesn't really hold up.

First of all, the girl was just a bitch for cheating on you. It says nothing about you. I know you were friends, and I'm not saying she was a terrible person, but that was a bitch move.

The fact is that we all don't see people the same way and your rating is not definitive. I know the incel community obsesses over height, but in my experience it's not as big of a deal as people think. (Plenty of short girls out there!) The comment about your size is just you beating yourself up. Obviously that has nothing to do with initial interest. As for your build, you're only 22. I've spent a lot of my life feeling very bad about my figure as a guy for being too skinny, but I started to fill out in my late 20s and now feel pretty good about how I look.

"So then, if that's all true, why don't I get interest?" Fact is that modern dating sucks, lol. You are justified to be discouraged. Where you are misguided is in writing yourself off as someone genetically doomed from ever having success.

I've got a buddy who is now in his 30s. Had some years being a bit overweight, not a ton of dating experience. Just now he is dating someone who should be way out of his league, and she is completely in love with him. I can't necessarily explain it, but sometimes it just eventually happens. My wife is way too good for me, but I somehow got her.

You don't become an "incel" until you adapt the subculture's twisted views of the world. It's okay to feel down, empty, beaten. It will take time to get through that. It's just not over.

 

[Georg]

Same. Love is not for everyone.

 

[nogods4me]

This brings back horrible memories. I guess I should be thankful for the emotional ablation over the years that helps me feel and remember less.

 

[Agent_PS]

First off I'm very sorry you've gotten to this rough point and I think it's good that you are reflecting so honestly.

I don't know that you are by definition an incel just for lacking experience. It took me a long time to actually have a relationship but I know a couple people had been interested that I didn't reciprocate with.

You had someone who was interested just 3 years ago. Yes, she betrayed you, but she was initially interested. It was awful for her to do you like that, and you have a right to be hurt. Long distance when you didn't have a physical relationship beforehand had little chance of success, but she should have properly broken things off if she was interested in someone else.

Dating apps are terrible. You're right to hate them. (Although a dating app is how I met my wife, overall the experience sucks).



This is the crux of it, right? The root of the issue. And I can understand it. I never felt accepted in high school, and felt the derisive sneers and cold rejections for my being too much of a nerd or whatever else made me undesirable. Pretty girls with everyone interested in them wield so much power in the dynamic, even if they are kind and don't intend to abuse it, that it is intimidating when your experience to this point has been betrayal. Like the rejection I received, you were sent a message that you weren't good or valuable enough.

We tend to think of the dating market on a linear scale. We rate from 1-10. If you have been rejected by an 8, you must be below an 8. A painful rejection, betrayal even - like you felt, must mean there was a large gap from you to the other guy, so you must be a 5/10 at best as you say. At least, that's the logic, it doesn't really hold up.

First of all, the girl was just a bitch for cheating on you. It says nothing about you. I know you were friends, and I'm not saying she was a terrible person, but that was a bitch move.

The fact is that we all don't see people the same way and your rating is not definitive. I know the incel community obsesses over height, but in my experience it's not as big of a deal as people think. (Plenty of short girls out there!) The comment about your size is just you beating yourself up. Obviously that has nothing to do with initial interest. As for your build, you're only 22. I've spent a lot of my life feeling very bad about my figure as a guy for being too skinny, but I started to fill out in my late 20s and now feel pretty good about how I look.

"So then, if that's all true, why don't I get interest?" Fact is that modern dating sucks, lol. You are justified to be discouraged. Where you are misguided is in writing yourself off as someone genetically doomed from ever having success.

I've got a buddy who is now in his 30s. Had some years being a bit overweight, not a ton of dating experience. Just now he is dating someone who should be way out of his league, and she is completely in love with him. I can't necessarily explain it, but sometimes it just eventually happens. My wife is way too good for me, but I somehow got her.

You don't become an "incel" until you adapt the subculture's twisted views of the world. It's okay to feel down, empty, beaten. It will take time to get through that. It's just not over.

thanks, I'll keep your words in my mind but tbh I think it's better if I don't pursue anyone because I feel like i'll just bring them down and cause emotional turmoil. but thanks anyways

 

[Agent_PS]

Same. Love is not for everyone.

I'd specify the kind of love because everyone needs some sort of support to keep going, familial love or platonic love is a necessity for our own growth but romantic love (the genuine kind) is getting rarer as this horrible machine we're trapped in is getting louder by the day, I'm a pessimistic cynical guy so I might be biased but looking around, I'd say its not far from the reality of things

This brings back horrible memories. I guess I should be thankful for the emotional ablation over the years that helps me feel and remember less.

I can only hope that you're in a better place. Please take care of yourself.

 

[Kibby]

real

 

[Rabscuttle]

I have no great advice. But I was you at 22. I was a kissless virgin until 28, I miraculously met someone very special who loved me very much. But because of those years of self hatred, deriding myself as a loser for my inability to socialize with people, for my body, for so many things, I was unable to function in that relationship and subsequently I ruined it. One thing I realized, once the deeds were done (kissing, having sex etc) was that I had built them up so much, I thought that if I just had a partner all my problems would go away. My problems were rooted in my hatred toward myself, the result of my utter lack of self compassion, which I unfortunately still lack. Accomplishing your goals won't lead to inner kindness, but inner kindness can absolutely help you in accomplishing your goals. It's hard, so hard to break those years of a degrading inner monologue, but what you are going through right now is also very difficult. If you've gotten this far, do you think you lack the ability to practice self compassion? I think you are capable of it.

 

[AdamfromtheUK]

I accepted long ago no female would ever be interested in me in the sexual sense. I'm resigned to dying alone.

Females don't owe you anything I'm afraid. Everyone has volition and the freedom to choose who they spend their time with.

Now all I want in the time I have left is solitude and to be away from harassment from thugs of both sex.

 

[Pryras]

You could opt for an Orchiectomy and focus on advocating for women's rights?

Let's be real. The human race is the only species that's obsessed with finding a mate for everyone. Not everyone is meant to reproduce or be chosen. If you're not physically attractive, start making a good living and learn to be generous and chivalrous. The women will come. Having women flawk to you for any other reason is delusion.

 

[Aloneandinpain]

I just got rejected yet again, pretty sure I'll die of loneliness eventually.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I'm a soon to be 31 year old kissless virgin so I completely understand your pain. You probably don't think 22 is still young and there's plenty of time to focus on achieving what you dream of but I'm sure people might say that about my current age too and I would completely disagree.

News flash: height isn't as helpful as it seems. I'm still in my current state despite being six feet tall. I used to work with a short, bald guy who had a girlfriend and yet he was also seeing two other 10/10s on the side. It was crazy.

I wish there was a solution beyond "keep trying" because I'm only just beginning to learn that the only way to make it work is to brute force your way through all the rejection and suffering and even guilt from having to reject others you didn't think you wouldn't like.

But yeah, sorry if I'm coming across as condescending or invalidating your pain. That's not my intention at all. I completely understand wanting to kill yourself over this if that is your wish.

 

[Agent_PS]

You could opt for an Orchiectomy and focus on advocating for women's rights?

Let's be real. The human race is the only species that's obsessed with finding a mate for everyone. Not everyone is meant to reproduce or be chosen. If you're not physically attractive, start making a good living and learn to be generous and chivalrous. The women will come. Having women flawk to you for any other reason is delusion.

honestly I'd rather kill myself. Because any activism or whatnot from my side won't actually bring any changes (speaking from years of joining protests and stuff). Also most of the animal kingdom's main focus is mating lol, I honestly just wanna feel like a normal human being without my brain constantly pushing me around and my body looking hideous.

I accepted long ago no female would ever be interested in me in the sexual sense. I'm resigned to dying alone.

Females don't owe you anything I'm afraid. Everyone has volition and the freedom to choose who they spend their time with.

Now all I want in the time I have left is solitude and to be away from harassment from thugs of both sex.

yeah ik that, that's why I admitted to being pathetic and whiny. I'm aware and I try to change but I'm also holding myself back.

I have no great advice. But I was you at 22. I was a kissless virgin until 28, I miraculously met someone very special who loved me very much. But because of those years of self hatred, deriding myself as a loser for my inability to socialize with people, for my body, for so many things, I was unable to function in that relationship and subsequently I ruined it. One thing I realized, once the deeds were done (kissing, having sex etc) was that I had built them up so much, I thought that if I just had a partner all my problems would go away. My problems were rooted in my hatred toward myself, the result of my utter lack of self compassion, which I unfortunately still lack. Accomplishing your goals won't lead to inner kindness, but inner kindness can absolutely help you in accomplishing your goals. It's hard, so hard to break those years of a degrading inner monologue, but what you are going through right now is also very difficult. If you've gotten this far, do you think you lack the ability to practice self compassion? I think you are capable of it.

if I was capable of self love, I'm pretty sure I'd have tamed my brain then. It's not happening as far as I can tell.

 

[AuroraB]

find an older woman ("cougar"). let her teach you about sex, romance, and how to truly be involved with a woman. get some experience and confidence. seriously. you'll learn a lot. small penises aren't a problem if you find the right fit/position and well, oral is what gets most women off anyway. VERY FEW women orgasm from just PIV (penis in vagina). don't believe the porn.

 

[Mukuro Ikusaba]

Love is fake, that's all there is to it.

 

[ravenx]

Same. Love is not for everyone.

Only for good looking + lucky people

honestly I'd rather kill myself. Because any activism or whatnot from my side won't actually bring any changes (speaking from years of joining protests and stuff). Also most of the animal kingdom's main focus is mating lol, I honestly just wanna feel like a normal human being without my brain constantly pushing me around and my body looking hideous.

yeah ik that, that's why I admitted to being pathetic and whiny. I'm aware and I try to change but I'm also holding myself back.

if I was capable of self love, I'm pretty sure I'd have tamed my brain then. It's not happening as far as I can tell.

we are so similar man, I feel the same way, exactly. it's over for our genetics, and im planning to rope tonight.

 

[sammiechzxv]

22 is still so young even if it doesn't feel like it. You have so much time ahead of you. There's someone for everyone. You have plenty of time.

 

[Life Is My Coffin]

I remember back in 2024

That was only last year brah

 

[Ashu]

Love is fake, that's all there is to it.

No, love is real, it's just not good enough for unrealistic people.

 

[bieatmania]

Fuck my Incel Chud Life.
I am actually volcel by definition because I don't feel lot of pain originating from my lack of romantic experience, but I've been seeing similar people who become crazy as they grow older. I am mostly worried about that happening to me, I hope my Love for 2D will be eternal.

 

[LonelyMe]

Dude! This kind of sounds like me. I've never had a girlfriend in my entire life. I'm very nonsocial and isolated so I think I might never be able to find the love of my life. I feel like I can't really have a relationship because I'm just sooooo boring and lonely. It's like there's no reason for women to be with me. I think I might starting saying "I don't believe in love" to people simply because it seems that loving someone requires you to have certain qualities (looking good, having a job, having friends, etc).

I think what can help you is getting that engineering degree and then applying for a job. After that just TRY being more positive and be around people. This will significantly increase the chance of finding a partner or at least attracting a partner. I really should do the same but I've kind of given up, at least for now.

 

[colour]

Resigning yourself to a life of misogyny because of a bad dating experience (or no dating experience) seems far too extreme. How much work has anyone who describes themselves as an 'incel' ever done for themselves? I'm not saying that commenters here are all below-average, but surely you're aware of average and below-average men who regularly find themselves in relationships?

If you don't think you're attractive, then get a haircut, groom yourself, and put together a couple of nice outfits. If you're anxious about speaking to women, then get involved in more hobbies/clubs and speak to them as if they are real people (they are), without the expectation of it leading to sex or intimacy. People are people, it's really easy to treat them as such.

 

[slightoverlooked]

I think Incel is more a mindset rather than a state of being. I am a woman (almost 23, never kissed or held hands) and tbh instead of blaming myself i just tell myself i havent found the one. its good you are trying to be social and thats the first step!
Incels are women-hating people who believe that all women have to have sex with them and not only is that rape mindset but trust me no woman wants to date someone like that. (personally its my biggest fear)
i understand the frustration and societal beauty standards (which every human is affected by) but trust me a good nice woman wont base their sole reason on dating someone for their appearance...who would want to date someone superficial like that anyway (regardless of gender)?

Also im sorry to hear about your bad relationship experience...it sucks but trust me it doesnt have to do with you. Cheating happens to every gender...

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Resigning yourself to a life of misogyny because of a bad dating experience (or no dating experience) seems far too extreme. How much work has anyone who describes themselves as an 'incel' ever done for themselves? I'm not saying that commenters here are all below-average, but surely you're aware of average and below-average men who regularly find themselves in relationships?

If you don't think you're attractive, then get a haircut, groom yourself, and put together a couple of nice outfits. If you're anxious about speaking to women, then get involved in more hobbies/clubs and speak to them as if they are real people (they are), without the expectation of it leading to sex or intimacy. People are people, it's really easy to treat them as such.

Nowhere in their post did they ever claim or even imply that they planned on just resigning themself to a life of misogyny. It seems like they are just using the more literal and old-school definition of incel that was used prior to the community becoming what it is today. I don't think that most people going by the more recent meaning of the word would ever believe that the OP is an incel, since while they are a virgin and have difficulty with finding a partner, they also lack the general misogynistic attitudes that we associate with incels today, at least based on their post. Their hatred seems to be directed more inward rather than being projected onto others, especially women.

They literally talked about having been to clubs in uni, attending dating events, and going to other types of social gatherings in the past.

I have joined uni clubs, attended some dating events and so on but nahh.

I don't get why you are suggesting that they do something they have already done before. The OP also talked about being held in high regard by his female classmates from high school, so it can be assumed that he is overall pretty nice to other women. Feeling nervous around those who you find attractive is pretty normal and something that nearly everyone experiences.

I feel like the problem here actually stems from the OP's tendency to beat himself up because of his lack of ability to find a relationship, which is understandable since wider society does tend to shame those who lack success when it comes to finding romance.

@Agent_PS there is nothing wrong about being a virgin. Even if people make it out to be this horrible thing, it really isn't. It doesn't mean anything in regard to your self-worth. I understand that for men in particular, there is a lot of pressure to lose your virginity as soon as possible. It's to the point where you have young boys who will get patted on the back for being raped and taken advantage of by older women and girls just because it means that they aren't a virgin anymore. I also understand the general pressure there is for all of us to get a romantic partner. The thing is, none of that really matters. Virginity is a social construct and having sex and/or having a partner isn't going to fix your issues of self-worth because those issues generally tend to be deeper and more complex than that.

I'm not a man, but I am a 22-year-old virgin and I only had someone (my current bf) confess their love for me around two years ago and I wouldn't say that it did much to fix any of my issues. Honestly, the first half of last year and the year before were a horrible time for me (my SH worsened, my suicidal ideation became more intense than it had ever been, I got suspended from my uni, I attempted to hang myself in the bathroom and failed miserably (as you can see now, based on me making this post), would do sexual stuff for guys online even when it made me uncomfortable, and so on). My starting to feel better didn't come until later on and it wasn't because of my current bf (though he was very supportive of me). The main reason behind me feeling better really just came down to me changing my perspective on things and breaking out of the shitty thought pattern I was stuck in (and also me using shrooms back during my self-destructive rampage).

The point is, that maybe you should focus more on your own well-being and prioritize that over finding a partner. If you do find someone then great! If you don't, then that's fine. Who cares about being a virgin? That doesn't make you bad or worthless.

 

[colour]

Nowhere in their post did they ever claim or even imply that they planned on just resigning themself to a life of misogyny. It seems like they are just using the more literal and old-school definition of incel that was used prior to the community becoming what it is today. I don't think that most people going by the more recent meaning of the word would ever believe that the OP is an incel, since while they are a virgin and have difficulty with finding a partner, they also lack the general misogynistic attitudes that we associate with incels today, at least based on their post. Their hatred seems to be directed more inward rather than being projected onto others, especially women.

They literally talked about having been to clubs in uni, attending dating events, and going to other types of social gatherings in the past.

I don't get why you are suggesting that they do something they have already done before. The OP also talked about being held in high regard by his female classmates from high school, so it can be assumed that he is overall pretty nice to other women. Feeling nervous around those who you find attractive is pretty normal and something that nearly everyone experiences.

I feel like the problem here actually stems from the OP's tendency to beat himself up because of his lack of ability to find a relationship, which is understandable since wider society does tend to shame those who lack success when it comes to finding romance.

@Agent_PS there is nothing wrong about being a virgin. Even if people make it out to be this horrible thing, it really isn't. It doesn't mean anything in regard to your self-worth. I understand that for men in particular, there is a lot of pressure to lose your virginity as soon as possible. It's to the point where you have young boys who will get patted on the back for being raped and taken advantage of by older women and girls just because it means that they aren't a virgin anymore. I also understand the general pressure there is for all of us to get a romantic partner. The thing is, none of that really matters. Virginity is a social construct and having sex and/or having a partner isn't going to fix your issues of self-worth because those issues generally tend to be deeper and more complex than that.

I'm not a man, but I am a 22-year-old virgin and I only had someone (my current bf) confess their love for me around two years ago and I wouldn't say that it did much to fix any of my issues. Honestly, the first half of last year and the year before were a horrible time for me (my SH worsened, my suicidal ideation became more intense than it had ever been, I got suspended from my uni, I attempted to hang myself in the bathroom and failed miserably (as you can see now, based on me making this post), would do sexual stuff for guys online even when it made me uncomfortable, and so on). My starting to feel better didn't come until later on and it wasn't because of my current bf (though he was very supportive of me). The main reason behind me feeling better really just came down to me changing my perspective on things and breaking out of the shitty thought pattern I was stuck in (and also me using shrooms back during my self-destructive rampage).

The point is, that maybe you should focus more on your own well-being and prioritize that over finding a partner. If you do find someone then great! If you don't, then that's fine. Who cares about being a virgin? That doesn't make you bad or worthless.

You're right that the OP didn't show clear signs of what the current idea of an 'incel' is, but to know that label and its current associations, then assign it to yourself nonetheless, doesn't inspire confidence.

I think my point about the clubs was because it read as though their interaction with women was clouded by the idea that it needed to lead to something sexual or romantic ('Anytime my brain tries to register that someone's looking cute or pretty in the sense that I might be interested, I sort of just beat up my brain.') although that's not the case. Simply being in those spaces and interacting with women as human beings, without expectations, is already a drastic improvement over what people imagine an 'incel' to be.

Forgive me if I'm a little cynical about the term. The site's uncomfortable association with those other forums, and the type of posts that crop up on here, get a little tiresome/worrying.

 

[cme-dme]

You're right that the OP didn't show clear signs of what the current idea of an 'incel' is, but to know that label and its current associations, then assign it to yourself nonetheless, doesn't inspire confidence.

I don't understand why somebody would willingly assign that term to themselves with its current meaning if they don't align with it. I've seen a lot of this kind of behavior on this forum and it's just confusing to me. Personally I think it's just actual incels trying to avoid getting banned. If that doesn't align with you, OP than I'm sorry. Just...if you don't align with what an incel is in its current meaning than don't call yourself one.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I don't understand why somebody would willingly assign that term to themselves with its current meaning if they don't align with it. I've seen a lot of this kind of behavior on this forum and it's just confusing to me. Personally I think it's just actual incels trying to avoid getting banned. If that doesn't align with you, OP than I'm sorry. Just...if you don't align with what an incel is in its current meaning than don't call yourself one.

I'm not OP but I call myself one because I am one. Trying to deny who I am just creates more problems anyway. It doesn't matter if I don't hate women like the stereotypical incel all that matters is that women have (legitimate) reasons to not want anything to do with me and the more I keep denying who I am the more I'm just going to hurt them in the process.

 

[LigottiSchopenhauer]

I have no great advice. But I was you at 22. I was a kissless virgin until 28, I miraculously met someone very special who loved me very much. But because of those years of self hatred, deriding myself as a loser for my inability to socialize with people, for my body, for so many things, I was unable to function in that relationship and subsequently I ruined it. One thing I realized, once the deeds were done (kissing, having sex etc) was that I had built them up so much, I thought that if I just had a partner all my problems would go away. My problems were rooted in my hatred toward myself, the result of my utter lack of self compassion, which I unfortunately still lack. Accomplishing your goals won't lead to inner kindness, but inner kindness can absolutely help you in accomplishing your goals. It's hard, so hard to break those years of a degrading inner monologue, but what you are going through right now is also very difficult. If you've gotten this far, do you think you lack the ability to practice self compassion? I think you are capable of it.

27 year old virgin here - this post makes me feel somewhat better because it's evidence that it's still possible to lose my virginity at such a late age, but being unable to function in a relationship like you described is a huge fear of mine. I feel like my lack of experience will inevitably make me a bad partner no matter how hard I try to be a good one.

 

[Rabscuttle]

27 year old virgin here - this post makes me feel somewhat better because it's evidence that it's still possible to lose my virginity at such a late age, but being unable to function in a relationship like you described is a huge fear of mine. I feel like my lack of experience will inevitably make me a bad partner no matter how hard I try to be a good one.

At least you're aware of this reality, a far cry better than me. TBH I'd rather be a virgin than being someone who hurt someone very dear to me because I was ignorant to how broken I was. It's very hard to escape this shame.

your self awareness indicates a deep ability for empathy, you deserve to meet someone special, I wish you the best, friend.