My ex died last week by accidental OD and let me just say I went to the funeral saw their parents cry and while I was sad knowing I'll never be able to hear their voice again I'm a little bit jealous. Like they had everything going for them and weren't even trying to die, just escape for a bit. And don't we all just want to escape and numb things out? Well how come some of us get lucky and the pain ends and for others we get brought back by doctors, friends, paramedics, and family members. Like who gets to decide that a life should keep going when the person who's living it clearly wanted it stop? I'm jealous that it was them and not me. The last time I died I was brought back and let me just say I was at fucking peace for the first time in a long time and then I woke up…in extreme pain physically. I don't even know where I'm going with this. It's just like I already have so much to deal with on a daily basis and now I feel grief on top of already feeling like shit 24/7.
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ctb_warrior
I wish to CTB asap
- Feb 11, 2024
- 1,112
I too feel jealous of her . How did she die by accidental OD
what did she OD on?
May be that can help us achieve peace.
Fentanyl which is what I've used in the past
I too feel jealous of her . How did she die by accidental OD what did she OD on?
May be that can help us achieve peace.
ctb_warrior
I wish to CTB asap
- Feb 11, 2024
- 1,112
Ohh
didn't know fentanyl was this dangerous.. What was your experience when you used it? How much quantity is enough to ctb using fentanyl
I noticed you and me joined sasu in the same month. It tells a lot about your suffering. It's been two years since you wanted to ctb.. I'm so sorry that you've had to go through this struggle
I wish that either you get peace in life or in ctb
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