I've been similarly struggling with being unemployed/out of school and just finding myself wallowing alone in my apartment everyday. It's hard to find the energy to go out and do stuff, but on my good days I go out and just try to do one thing. It sounds dumb, but if I'm going out once a week to get food or necessities, I might as well go out and get some Boba, or I might as well go out to eat, or I might as well stop by the pet store to look at cute animals.
If you feel that you're at a place where you can leave your house, I highly recommend volunteering at an animal shelter. That's what I did last year, and while initially I only went so I could pet some cats to help me feel better, I ended up building connections with the people that I volunteered with and also liked the knowledge that I was actually doing something helpful with my time. I only went once a week for a few hours, but it helped me. It also helped that it gave me an excuse to go in my pajamas/bad clothes, as most days I didn't have the energy to put effort into my appearance.
If you don't feel able to leave your house, I'd recommend finding just one thing that you can spend 10 or so minutes on every day. If you have money available, you can try things like art (I can help you find products if interested), baking (that way you can also get sweet treats for when you feel miserable), or learning instruments. If you don't have money, I recommend using apps/videos to learn sign language (to me easier than learning a verbal one), movie recommendations to watch in bed, or doing light stretching.
I was a HEAVY c.ai user, and within the past two weeks I deleted my account. It's hard, really hard, but at some points its been hard to decern reality from fiction, and overall I think that at least limiting Ai use would help socializing. Instead what I do (hear me out), is I write self insert fanfictions instead of using ai. It also helps build writing skills and keeps you focused on that task for a while.
I don't have any therapy recommendations, and right now I'm preparing for a stay in a ward, so I don't know if that would help your situation at all. My biggest advice is to not try too much out of the blue because you're so used to not having structure, it'll be hard if you try to change too much. I hope this helps in any way :(
can someone give me some advice? I am literally suffocating and in unbearable pain every single day and i have no idea how to get better. I still have a lot of things i want to do and experience, but its been like this for years and i dont know what to do anymore.
I also don't know if your therapist is aware of how bad you're feeling?
