Venting I'm in pain e01

[CandyK__]

I'm not going to last long. Every friendship I ever had ends up in me being ignored. Despite my attempts at being working with everyone else's plans. Still they ignore me in messages sent and IRL. It hurts so fucking much when a friend you hoped would be there for you ignores you.

I tried to be an optimist, but everyday I'm getting closer to being done. I don't know how much longer I can go on. My friend told me they have trouble remembering, and don't feel much, like they don't care if someone they're close with would die, at least they've told me that. Both of us went through 3 suicidal attempts, with a difference they got therapy, where I was never able to afford it. They were the only person I told about my sh, and being trans. But recently they've been avoiding me. It caused me a melt down when they when walking by me looked to the opposite side.

I wanted to ctb before I met them, and they were the only reason I kept going. If I manage to survive till Monday, I might get better. I fucking hater summer, when everybody has their friend, but I'm never anyone's friend.

If you don't hear from me then I got better, if I won't I'll let you know.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's awful to me how humans very often just create even more suffering, I don't personally think that other people can be relied on. But anyway I wish you the best in whatever happens going forward.

 

[Chiiwey]

I would be your friend.