BecomingTired
Lov3rBoy<3
- Feb 23, 2024
- 104
I genuinely can't help anyone or myself, I can't improve anything, I can't be useful, I can't even at least be even a bit happy.
I hurt everyone or make things worse all the time, it doesn't matter how hard I try; I don't even think it is something I can stop anymore, someway or another I just fuck up everything.
I am just a boring and useless person that just hurts everyone around me. I just want to move already and get it all done with, take SN and die as soon as I can but I failed at even that twice, and the second time is all my fault I delayed too long and the place was rented to somewhere else. I'm so tired it hurts; I'm genuinely so tired of myself and just living; my whole life either been suffering or causing the suffering of others involuntary, I can never do anything right.
Even being born caused more hurt to my family than what I can ever atone and I'm constantly reminded by that by the hatred of them, Im not sure why I was willing to give life one last chance, it just caused another person to feel hurt because of me again and it was the only friend I even got now that I care about. It's all so stupid, I spent so much of my life trying to escape the things I was born into but it was all for nothing anyways; I'm just a homeless abused autist with no future and no dreams, I spent all this time for nothing, there was never a chance to begin with. I constantly get tired, struggle to tell reality, unable to tell my own emotions, unable to tell my own thoughts it's all a tiring blur and I just want to die already I'm a demon that is just born to spread the worst; I have no real irl friends outside of acquaintances, all my online friends hate me, my mother and step family despises me and want me out their happy little home, my own body is breaking down from the inside, I am breaking down I can't even tell reality anymore I kkeep seeing things that aren't there or feeling constantly watched I feel so alone why can't I at least find a bit of joy in my life in my life i can't live like this anymore the insomnia is getting to me so bad I am constantly tired to the point my head hurts it doesn't matter how well I constantly sleep or how long I sleep I am so constantly tired it feel heavy to even move anymore
I hurt everyone or make things worse all the time, it doesn't matter how hard I try; I don't even think it is something I can stop anymore, someway or another I just fuck up everything.
I am just a boring and useless person that just hurts everyone around me. I just want to move already and get it all done with, take SN and die as soon as I can but I failed at even that twice, and the second time is all my fault I delayed too long and the place was rented to somewhere else. I'm so tired it hurts; I'm genuinely so tired of myself and just living; my whole life either been suffering or causing the suffering of others involuntary, I can never do anything right.
Even being born caused more hurt to my family than what I can ever atone and I'm constantly reminded by that by the hatred of them, Im not sure why I was willing to give life one last chance, it just caused another person to feel hurt because of me again and it was the only friend I even got now that I care about. It's all so stupid, I spent so much of my life trying to escape the things I was born into but it was all for nothing anyways; I'm just a homeless abused autist with no future and no dreams, I spent all this time for nothing, there was never a chance to begin with. I constantly get tired, struggle to tell reality, unable to tell my own emotions, unable to tell my own thoughts it's all a tiring blur and I just want to die already I'm a demon that is just born to spread the worst; I have no real irl friends outside of acquaintances, all my online friends hate me, my mother and step family despises me and want me out their happy little home, my own body is breaking down from the inside, I am breaking down I can't even tell reality anymore I kkeep seeing things that aren't there or feeling constantly watched I feel so alone why can't I at least find a bit of joy in my life in my life i can't live like this anymore the insomnia is getting to me so bad I am constantly tired to the point my head hurts it doesn't matter how well I constantly sleep or how long I sleep I am so constantly tired it feel heavy to even move anymore
