I’m gonna stop being friends with everyone for their sake

[Water-Lily]

Today I was wallowing in self pity. So much I made an effort to avoid a friend of mine who kept trying to talk to me. So she hit me with a blunt "do you not want to talk to me today". I reluctantly said yes and she left me alone

So that's a friendship down the drain I ruined because of my bullshit

All of the friends around me are smart, have bfs/gfs, bubbly and confident, actively taking care of their mental health, are good at gaming and socializing, etc

Everything I'm not. I can't have a relationship because I am too broke and damaged and unwilling to change. Me going to therapy and medication doesn't mean anything if no progress is made

I'm bound to drag people down. So, for their sake so they can invest in healthier people, in going to start self sabotaging

 

[juliano2001]

I can understand how you feel but your friends might not know or be aware of your struggle. Instead of cutting them off because you feel they'd be better without you, you could try to explain your struggle better. Friends are meant to care about you, even if you're broke, aren't good at many things, have poor mental health, not good at socialising. True friends will care about you and love you regardless of these things.

Instead of cut them off in order to not drag them down, give them the option to stay or to leave by their own choices and if they stay, allow them to raise you up like friends are supposed to!

 

[Baron]

I feel you. I am the only one who is not living, I am the only one who is severely depressed, I am the only one who is cutting himself. I am always the awkward one, not knowing how to start or continue a conversation. I can't read the mood and I often end up being the guy everyone picks on a bit. I don't even feel like me and them are friends. They are friends with a different version of myself. Nobody would want to be friends with my genuine self. Everyday I think: If everyone knew how miserable I am, they'd laugh at me all day for how pathetic I am

 

[MyChoiceAlone]

i've very much distanced myself from all my friends as well. i've only opened up to a gamer friend that i never actually met irl.. she seemed a bit like me as well but after asking me to wait for her, well i haven't heard from her much at all. this is not a complaint. i wish her well. i know she is a great person. i don't want want my decisions to have an affect on anyone. if i were ever successful, i would prefer my body not be found or my story told.

 

[Water-Lily]

I can understand how you feel but your friends might not know or be aware of your struggle. Instead of cutting them off because you feel they'd be better without you, you could try to explain your struggle better. Friends are meant to care about you, even if you're broke, aren't good at many things, have poor mental health, not good at socialising. True friends will care about you and love you regardless of these things.

Instead of cut them off in order to not drag them down, give them the option to stay or to leave by their own choices and if they stay, allow them to raise you up like friends are supposed to!

I'm too ashamed. At this rate I'll lose everyone

I feel you. I am the only one who is not living, I am the only one who is severely depressed, I am the only one who is cutting himself. I am always the awkward one, not knowing how to start or continue a conversation. I can't read the mood and I often end up being the guy everyone picks on a bit. I don't even feel like me and them are friends. They are friends with a different version of myself. Nobody would want to be friends with my genuine self. Everyday I think: If everyone knew how miserable I am, they'd laugh at me all day for how pathetic I am

This is exactly how I feel. Hence, I know when I die, it'll be a good day

 

[Stormy Raine]

I'm sorry you feel like a burden to your friends, but I'm sure you're not. I've learned that everyone had problems and some friends decide not to share their problems. A suggestion that I did was send my friends a simple message saying I love them, I value our friendship but please trust I'm ok and I will reach out when I'm better and ready. I thanked them for their concerns but asked them to forgive me if I don't answer every call and not be there when they need me. True friends will understand and if they can't just keep it moving! Take time to heal and process your own issues 1st. If they are real friends they will be there until the end ❤

 

[Water-Lily]

I'm sorry you feel like a burden to your friends, but I'm sure you're not. I've learned that everyone had problems and some friends decide not to share their problems. A suggestion that I did was send my friends a simple message saying I love them, I value our friendship but please trust I'm ok and I will reach out when I'm better and ready. I thanked them for their concerns but asked them to forgive me if I don't answer every call and not be there when they need me. True friends will understand and if they can't just keep it moving! Take time to heal and process your own issues 1st. If they are real friends they will be there until the end ❤

I can't even bring myself to say all that. I'd just rather be a shut in and isolate

 

[day]

I've began distancing myself from everyone I possibly can for when I CTB. I feel there is some people around me who won't take no for an answer and at the minimum I've told them I desire to CTB so when I do it there's not much shock.

It may be selfish but I'm trying to mitigate the damage it may bring as I'm really not intending on making anyone traumatized or suicidal themselves.

I hope it works out best for you and I'm sorry you feel like a burden. I don't know you but I'm sure all the things you count as flaws are minuscule to who you really are.

Best of luck OP. I hope you find peace.

 

[FindingHome]

I am pretty much throwing everyone out of my life. I am spending the last days alone and am enjoying my own company. I don't want anyone in my life period!

 

[kkkangkkk]

I feel you OP. I just came back to my hometown after 7 years overseas. I can't get myself to see my old friends. I just feel pathetic and I don't want to show this version of me to them. Nobody knows I am back except for my family.