Story I'm gonna be sick

[chernobylmosqut]

So I'm in a weird position where I'm a resident of a privately owned group home/transitional housing program. It's small enough that my ability to stay here instead of in my car can depend entirely on the program director's perception of me. So, I do my best to keep my head down and not cause any conflict.

They're very adamant about posting on social media and they posted a video with me in it. It makes me sick to my stomach and I can't stop shaking, which sounds very dramatic but I truthfully cannot handle any image of myself, much less one posted on social media. I did not consent to this, but I also can't ask them to take it down without compromising my stability in the program.

So I'll be up all night and I guarantee I won't be able to stomach any amount of food for days. I'm not sure what to do. I wish my sense of self worth didn't rely entirely on my physical appearance, and I wish other people would be respectful of the fact that I'm very mentally fragile around this. It's a huge part of what pushes me to self harm.
I'd also like to point out that 790 people saw this. Which I know social media really inflates our perception but that is almost a thousand people.That is a disgusting amount.

 

[heautontimorumenos]

I understand what you mean, i can hardly handle looking at myself in the mirror, much less being filmed or photographed by anyone else. It feels like waves of dread washing over me after that boundary has been crossed. I hope the feeling will subside for you soon

 

[Mooncry]

Ooh, I HATE it when people do that. I've had people post me online without my consent too, and you're not at all unreasonable for feeling exploited or like your boundaries were violated. I wish I had some advice for your specific situation, but just know that you're completely valid.

 

[rustcohle4life]

I completely understand. I hate the damn social media age/surveillance state we live in. Can't do anything in public or at a event/get together without some yahoo pulling out their smart phone and taking pictures/videos of you without your consent. I cringe when they start taking pictures of the food, just live in the moment you cunts. Complete NPC behavior.

Not only are we born into the world without our consent, it keeps getting violated while we're here. More evidence that we live in a hell realm.

 

[chernobylmosqut]

I completely understand. I hate the damn social media age/surveillance state we live in. Can't do anything in public or at a event/get together without some yahoo pulling out their smart phone and taking pictures/videos of you without your consent. I cringe when they start taking pictures of the food, just live in the moment you cunts. Complete NPC behavior.

Not only are we born into the world without our consent, it keeps getting violated while we're here. More evidence that we live in a hell realm.

It's for engagement from potential sponsors. I get some PR is important to keep us residents off the streets, but I am not a prop and I hate being used as one.