I'm going within the next hour.

[Lost in a Dream]

You've been through hell and I'm sorry you're having such a hard time right now. Suicide is the hardest thing anyone could ever do, even when they're certain that it's what they want, so it's understandable that you're struggling with it. I just hope you can find a way to get away from that POS stalker whether you drink the SN or not.

 

[Zeus35]

Really sorry to hear this but glad you are here, there is absolutely no pressure and only you decide when you are ready.

The salty taste can be unbearable for some people, surprised about the antacid making you gag, maybe tablets will be better than liquid? Maybe try numbing your mouth next time with Difflam rinse or Orajel? That will numb your mouth and make it less unpleasant .

Survival instinct is very strong for everyone and i guess it was not your time to go. Please take some time and relax, you can always try again if you want or even decide not to do it.

I hope it was not too traumatic and understand that you need to rest.

Take care

Thank you. I'm not sure I'll try the method again x

Zeus, I don't think we have ever spoken, and I certainly didn't know this was your backstory. I am so sorry for your pain. I wish you well. If you do not decide to go through with it, please return so I can get to know you.
Best wishes. Safe travels.

I'd be happy to get to know you. You see like a kind and caring person x

I did the same exact thing as you , take a sip and spit it out, I got symptoms - so possibly swallowed some . Did you get any symptoms ? How do you feel

I took a whole bottle of antacid and got dihorrea. I didn't swallow the SN it was too salty. Extremely unbearable x

Welcome back, @Zeus35 . I hope you're doing well. If you wish to talk to someone of about your age, feel free to write.
Yours Sophie

Hi Sophie thank you. Your welcome to message me x

Gemstone?

Yes it's me x

Glad you are still with us.

Thank you x

I'm so sorry you went through that just trying to find some peace, I hope you are resting up and feel better soon<3

Yes I'm just in bed and going to sleep soon x

You've been through hell and I'm sorry you're having such a hard time right now. Suicide is the hardest thing anyone could ever do, even when they're certain that it's what they want, so it's understandable that you're struggling with it. I just hope you can find a way to get away from that POS stalker whether you drink the SN or not.

Thank you, I feel less alone being part of this community. It can get overwhelming the narcissistic stalking abuse at times. The harassment x

 

[Pluto]

Yes I'm just in bed and going to sleep soon x

Sleep tight. Let me know if you want to chat. I'm sure there will be a way to find you a safe place far away from harm. There are organisations in many countries that specialise in such situations. Well worth looking into.

 

[outrider567]

I'm not dead. I made the mixture had some and then threw it in the sink. It was extremely salty. Plus I gagged alot when I tool the antacid. It was traumatic. The water went yellowish once the nitrite was in. I still feel shit. I've not been to hospital or anything because I didn't even take a sip I just put it in my mouth and spat it out.
I guess it wasn't my time to go. Had there been no taste to the sodium nitrite then I would have dank it.

What about holding your nose while drinking it?--That's the only way that I can drink Tea

 

[outatime_85]

I do hope you are feeling a little better.

With that said

"Good news, boppers!
The big alert has been called off.
It turns out that the early reports were wrong.
All wrong.
Now, too, Zeus35, who is having such a hard time... sorry about that.
I guess one thing we can do is play you a song. "

Mase - Welcome Back

 

[Judy Garland]

I'm glad you're ok Gemstone. I'm afraid to take mine. I'm afraid of what's going to happen with my consciousness. I know everyone says, "Well you lose it". Of course you do but no one knows what level that is. I don't want to be plunged into a bad dream. That would be hell. I also don't want to be half aware of what is going on outside while I'm laying there dying. Like being stuck unable to move. This is the only thing that has kept me from doing it.

 

[Medicmedic72]

What are you doing about your court date?

 

[Cathy Ames]

Ice cream x

I did the same!

I am very sorry about your situation but also glad you're still here for now.

 

[Cosmic dust]

Coming a bit too late to the thread.

You are so young, its such a shame that you have to go through all of this. You deserve better than that.

Whatever happens, I wish you the best.

 

[Zeus35]

What about holding your nose while drinking it?--That's the only way that I can drink Tea

I didn't think of that

I do hope you are feeling a little better.

With that said

"Good news, boppers!
The big alert has been called off.
It turns out that the early reports were wrong.
All wrong.
Now, too, Zeus35, who is having such a hard time... sorry about that.
I guess one thing we can do is play you a song. "

Mase - Welcome Back

Thank you x

I'm glad you're ok Gemstone. I'm afraid to take mine. I'm afraid of what's going to happen with my consciousness. I know everyone says, "Well you lose it". Of course you do but no one knows what level that is. I don't want to be plunged into a bad dream. That would be hell. I also don't want to be half aware of what is going on outside while I'm laying there dying. Like being stuck unable to move. This is the only thing that has kept me from doing it.

To be honest I feel so disappointed in myself. I couldn't even drink it because of how salty it is. Really I should try again but I want to practice holding normal salt water in my mouth and taking a gulp sometimes. I think it will help me for when I want to try again.

What are you doing about your court date?

I have to go unfortunately x

I did the same!

I am very sorry about your situation but also glad you're still here for now.

Thank you. I just wanted to say I always feel very helped and supported by you. You never fail to lift my spirits up.

Coming a bit too late to the thread.

You are so young, its such a shame that you have to go through all of this. You deserve better than that.

Whatever happens, I wish you the best.

Thank you x
I really like that this form is extremely supportive whatever your decision. I felt so dead as a result of failing and throwing that SN away after putting it in my mouth. It's kind of like your all some type of a WiFi family. When someone survive an attempt (if you can call it that because I didn't even actually ingest any SN, just held it in my mouth after completing all of the other steps) were supported after. I like that in this group we can talk about things that we can't usually. We'll not out in the open anyway. I think being able to have a normal conversation about such a difficult topic helps people in alot of ways. I'm still mentally recovering but it just helps me alot. I guess everyone's support is similar to like waking up on bed and having everyone give you flowers, hug you, support you and not judge you. That's why I'm particularly against the site being shut down. It only forces people into a darker hole. This group actually helped me go from being suicidal at one point to not being suicidal and feeling like I had hope. I'm suicidal again but I'm still being lifted up whilst I'm down by people I don't even know x

 

[TheWood]

I'm sorry for your sad story, nobody deserves such a thing. I hope you find peace in this world or somewhere else

 

[Zeus35]

I'm sorry for your sad story, nobody deserves such a thing. I hope you find peace in this world or somewhere else

Thank you x

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I think you need to take the required, and very much appropriate, time necessary to do some deep inner reflection of your life and what you want it to be going forward. What your next steps should be. You may end up right back where you were at the start of this thread, and that is OK. You may end up in a totally different place (in your head) and that's OK, too. We are all our own best friend. Nobody can decide what is right for you, or look out for you, more than you. Take some time and reevaluate where you go from here.

 

[chocolatebar]

Thank you x

I hope you're better now. Going to court is something really stressful, especially when the social structure is against you. Do you feel comfortable talking about it?

 

[Smart No More]

Don't practice with salt water. It won't help. It will just make you sick and further cause aversion.

 

[Zeus35]

Don't practice with salt water. It won't help. It will just make you sick and further cause aversion.

Ok x