Method I’m going to kill myself tonight

[Josef2000]

I've had enough. I can't deal with life anymore.
When the rest of my family sleep I'm leaving the house, finding somewhere to get drunk and taking my blades with me and I'm going to hang myself in a field somewhere. I'm going to take whatever tablets I have in the cupboard, I think there's 4 and a half grams of quetiapine and 60mg of circadian and plenty of citalopram. I might have sertraline too as I overdosed on that before and it gave me rhabdomyoldis which near killed me before. I'm so done and I can't stop crying, I just can't take it anymore and I know your just a bunch of strangers but I have nobody else

 

[muffin222]

I'm so sorry life has brought you to this point

Whatever you decide to do, please do it with a clear head because impulsive decisions often lead to even more complications. I sincerely wish you the best with whatever route you take

 

[Identity]

I really suggest you don't do it tonight. You're drunk and you're not gonna do it right and only end up with either shame that you failed or you're gonna get involuntarily admitted to a psych ward.

 

[Josef2000]

I'm so sorry life has brought you to this point

Whatever you decide to do, please do it with a clear head because impulsive decisions often lead to even more complications. I sincerely wish you the best with whatever route you take

I've been thinking of suicide for years now, attempts many times. I've processed this rationally and thought of both sides. I've tried so many things to get better and honestly life isn't for me.
Here's hoping tonight's a success

I really suggest you don't do it tonight. You're drunk and you're not gonna do it right and only end up with either shame that you failed or you're gonna get involuntarily admitted to a psych ward.

I've got nothing to lose.

 

[muffin222]

I've been thinking of suicide for years now, attempts many times. I've processed this rationally and thought of both sides. I've tried so many things to get better and honestly life isn't for me.
Here's hoping tonight's a success

If that's the case, then I wish you peace, and I hope you find what you're looking for <3

 

[Deathbydemo]

I'm really sorry you've reached this decision, I'm sure it wasn't taken lightly. We may just be a bunch of strangers here but we are also your friends. I really hope this isn't a rash decision and you've thought this through. I'm all for a peaceful exit and I hope that's what you are able to achieve. Keep us updated in here okay?

 

[watereyes]

I'm so sorry. I hope you find peace.

 

[Identity]

I've got nothing to lose.
[/QUOTE]

Well if you're not afraid of the torture of psych wards, go ahead. But I can just tell you from many experiences that being under the influence before attempting suicide just doesn't work. Unless you have a gun or something else that instantly kills you. Hanging or cutting won't do it.

 

[Josef2000]

I'm really sorry you've reached this decision, I'm sure it wasn't taken lightly. We may just be a bunch of strangers here but we are also your friends. I really hope this isn't a rash decision and you've thought this through. I'm all for a peaceful exit and I hope that's what you are able to achieve. Keep us updated in here okay?

I'll keep you updated on what happens. It is in no way irrational despite my current mood. I've attempted suicide for years and I'm just 19. I know there's those people that say I have a whole life ahead of me but I've tried medications, therapies, outlooks, religions, acceptance, different environments but nothings helped at all. Thankyou for your concern

I've got nothing to lose.

Well if you're not afraid of the torture of psych wards, go ahead. But I can just tell you from many experiences that being under the influence before attempting suicide just doesn't work. Unless you have a gun or something else that instantly kills you. Hanging or cutting won't do it.
[/QUOTE]
I've been in psych wards before and they are generally pleasant in Northern Ireland. I'm going to try hanging, cutting and things overdose. I will not be found, I will not be saved this time

 

[Deathbydemo]

Wait, you're in Northern Ireland? Me too. Do you want to share where?

 

[Josef2000]

Wait, you're in Northern Ireland? Me too. Do you want to share where?

Are you familiar with Newry?

 

[MissKatrina]

I've had enough. I can't deal with life anymore.
When the rest of my family sleep I'm leaving the house, finding somewhere to get drunk and taking my blades with me and I'm going to hang myself in a field somewhere. I'm going to take whatever tablets I have in the cupboard, I think there's 4 and a half grams of quetiapine and 60mg of circadian and plenty of citalopram. I might have sertraline too as I overdosed on that before and it gave me rhabdomyoldis which near killed me before. I'm so done and I can't stop crying, I just can't take it anymore and I know your just a bunch of strangers but I have nobody else

Thought you were an ex of mine for a moment. He recently left me. I loved him a lot. I hope you have had some love in your life too. If you were here I'd love to give you a big hug and give you some strength. I hope you have a smooth journey and find what you're looking for. :) Take care, always.

 

[Suez]

I've got nothing to lose.

Well if you're not afraid of the torture of psych wards, go ahead. But I can just tell you from many experiences that being under the influence before attempting suicide just doesn't work. Unless you have a gun or something else that instantly kills you. Hanging or cutting won't do it.
[/QUOTE]
Im with @Identity on this. Taking alcohol before doing something like this is a recipe for disaster. If you really want to CTB do it with a clear head. If you fuck it up, rhabdomyoldis will be the least of your problems, I can assure you, Ive seen it many many times in the ED.

 

[Ulisses]

feel free to vent. here we will not judge you and share your pain.

 

[hatewillneverwin]

Good luck Josef. I can really understand how you feel. I am 20 years old and went through a lot of shit too. Medication, therapies, depression, anxiety. While others were having their first girlfriend I was alone at home suffering and thinking about ending my pointless life. I was about to give up a couple times but I never did and today I am actually grateful for that. I went through hell but Ive found a way out. Ive found some confidence. I just started to feel a new energy. I started doing things, setting goals and creating a whole different mindset. I told myself I am responsible for Everything in my life. I might not be able to control what's happening around me but the response was up to me. I do not want to say that you shouldn't do what you are about to do. I just want that you are really sure about your decision. Sometimes things actually do change and sometimes its completely unexpected. I know how hard it is to maintain with all this pain. But I think it sometimes pays off. And you can always leave this planet. Never forget that we are here for you and we care. I hope you will find the right way for you and find your peace ❤ if you need someone to talk to I can give you my number... And believe me, I really know in what type of situation you are. Stay strong!

 

[Donk]

hey man like everyone is sayin...make sure you've got this planned out. otherwise this will be another attempt you want to forget. you can ctb later but you cant come back from ctb. if you decide to go through it i wish you a peaceful journey my friend. here to listen if you wanna talk.

 

[jgm63]

If you decide to proceed, then I wish you a safe journey on to somewhere beautiful.....

 

[Partial-Elf]

I think drinking before hanging is fine and maybe even advisable... but only after you've gotten your noose set up. And not in combination with other drugs. Certainly helps with overcoming survival instinct in my limited experience

 

[AtleastMyKdWontBe0]

It's sad to see that you're going to do it. I know you've probably heard it a million times, but you're so young you might aswell stick it out another few years and see if your life goes anywhere. You're probably going to have to try real hard and push to achieve that, but anything's possible. I'm hoping you have a change of heart, but in the case you don't I hope everything goes smooth.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

Im so sorry you feel so alone... Whatever you decide, nobody should have to be alone...

 

[Deathbydemo]

Are you familiar with Newry?

Yes very familiar, I worked there for a while a good few years ago. It's nice to see someone else from NI here. I'm not far from you at all.

How are you feeling today?

 

[Josef2000]

Thought I'd give an update just incase

It was a tough night for me, debating on whether I should do it or not. The thought of my brother popped into my head and how destroyed he would be prevented me from following through with my plans.
I'm stuck, I cannot keep living like this but I cannot ctb because of him, I don't want to destroy his life. So I'm stuck, I don't know what to do anymore.

Thought you were an ex of mine for a moment. He recently left me. I loved him a lot. I hope you have had some love in your life too. If you were here I'd love to give you a big hug and give you some strength. I hope you have a smooth journey and find what you're looking for. :) Take care, always.

I had a girlfriend for fourteen months, she made me real happy but she left me recently because I smother her, she said I need to rely on myself more. I have a real fear of being abandoned and it fucking hurts. I hope your doing okay

 

[Deathbydemo]

@Josef2000 Im really glad your brother is a reason to make you stay. How old is he?

Fear of abandonment and rejection sucks. But it doesn't hurt forever. Trust me, I know. You think it will floor you but it won't. Not if you let it, that is. Just 2 months ago I convinced myself that there was someone I couldn't live without. Here I am living without him. It can be done.

Hang in there.

 

[AtleastMyKdWontBe0]

I had a girlfriend for fourteen months, she made me real happy but she left me recently because I smother her, she said I need to rely on myself more. I have a real fear of being abandoned and it fucking hurts. I hope your doing okay

Ouch I've been told that before too.
Happy to see you made it through the night, keep fighting

 

[Josef2000]

@Josef2000 Im really glad your brother is a reason to make you stay. How old is he?

Fear of abandonment and rejection sucks. But it doesn't hurt forever. Trust me, I know. You think it will floor you but it won't. Not if you let it, that is. Just 2 months ago I convinced myself that there was someone I couldn't live without. Here I am living without him. It can be done.

Hang in there.

Hi, my little brother is 11 I'm 19 and he looks up to me for some reason. It's hard trying to hurt myself and thinking of him. He's my barrier

Ouch I've been told that before too.
Happy to see you made it through the night, keep fighting ❤

It hurts so much, I haven't stopped sobbing. My throat hurts and my eyes sting until someone comes in my room and I quickly gather myself. Thankyou for your words

Thought you were an ex of mine for a moment. He recently left me. I loved him a lot. I hope you have had some love in your life too. If you were here I'd love to give you a big hug and give you some strength. I hope you have a smooth journey and find what you're looking for. :) Take care, always.

I had love until she left me recently after fourteen amazing months. Everything I touch gets destroyed. Everyone leaves eventually. I never actually listened to sad songs but the lyrics cut deep and it's the only thing I have. I don't have anyone else to talk to I'm so alone

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Hi, my little brother is 11 I'm 19 and he looks up to me for some reason. It's hard trying to hurt myself and thinking of him. He's my barrier

It hurts so much, I haven't stopped sobbing. My throat hurts and my eyes sting until someone comes in my room and I quickly gather myself. Thankyou for your words

I had love until she left me recently after fourteen amazing months. Everything I touch gets destroyed. Everyone leaves eventually. I never actually listened to sad songs but the lyrics cut deep and it's the only thing I have. I don't have anyone else to talk to I'm so alone

Well I'm glad you're okay but I'm sorry you feel so awful and have no resolution to your problems. And I'm sorry you feel so alone.