Venting I'm going to kill myself tommorow

[Sadbanana]

I'm planning to jump from 10th floor. It will probably make some mess, but that is not going to be my problem anymore. My family will be sad and possibly shocked, but maybe they will understand that it is better this way. I might write some note for them as consolation, I'm not really good with words though, so I'm not sure.

There is as well a possibility I won't do it. Last time I got scared and backed off. I'm afraid of hights after all, but this seems as the only way how to die that is relatively painless. From what I know about it I should immediately lose consciousness. Most importantly I shouldn't oberthink it too much and it will be ok. But if I will chicken out, I'm not going to be mad at myself for it.

It's more than clear that this is what I want to do. My life is suffering and it seems that the longer I live the less worth it gets. It's not like I hate living, I just hate living as me. I hope I will get reincarnated or something similar, because it is hard for me to accept that this was it. I wish I could experience a full and exciting life at least once as this conciousness. But even if that won't happen, I don't have other options but to kill myself, because this is unbearable and it won't get better.

If I end up doing it, then this is goodbye. I'm grateful for this forum. I especially liked suicide memes, I felt thanks to them a bit less crazy for wanting to end my life.

 

[TheVanishingPoint]

I wish that your dreams — the ones that never found a home here — may unfold elsewhere, where pain has no name , and memory fades like mist at dawn .
May you cross the threshold without fear , carrying with you only what is weightless .
And may absence not be emptiness, but a silence fulfilled .

 

[chemicalburns]

It's more than clear that this is what I want to do. My life is suffering and it seems that the longer I live the less worth it gets. It's not like I hate living, I just hate living as me. I hope I will get reincarnated or something similar, because it is hard for me to accept that this was it. I wish I could experience a full and exciting life at least once as this conciousness. But even if that won't happen, I don't have other options but to kill myself, because this is unbearable and it won't get better.

I think about this every day. I just wanted another chance to do everything right with the tools that were given me.

 

[darksouls]

good luck
hope everything goes well for you
and you find relief from suffering

 

[FuneralCry]

My existence is just suffering as well, I hope you find the relief you search for, I wish you the best.

 

[bankai]

I hope you find relief and peace. Either in life or death.

If it really scares you, it's OK to back down. Hopefully life gets better for you.

 

[Sadbanana]

I'm still here. I couldn't do it. Maybe if the negative emotions hit at the right time, it would do it. It's like part of me wants to live, even though I know it is not going to work :(