I’m going to get ripped for this but is anyone jealous of other peoples problems on this forum?

[myownpetvirus]

I fully understand that everyone has their own limits and experiences and complex stories for why they are suicidal but does anyone else get super jealous when you hear other peoples reasons to ctb, even if you consciously know every experience is individual and there are many situations we will never understand unless we've been through them? It makes me increasingly bitter and disgusted with myself for being bitter when I hear certain problems that I feel like I would do anything even saw my own arm off to switch my problems for theirs. Anyone else deal with this?

 

[randy]

I think it is how we handle problems that leads us here. The specific problem is irrelevant.

 

[Rainy_days]

I can't tell if you're saying you wish you had other people's easy problems, or that you want their difficult problems to justify feeling suicidal.

 

[myownpetvirus]

I can't tell if you're saying you wish you had other people's easy problems, or that you want their difficult problems to justify feeling suicidal.

I want their easy problems so I wouldn't have to ctb

 

[Rainy_days]

I want their easy problems so I wouldn't have to ctb

Oh okay, thanks for clarifying.

 

[iwanttodiee]

Kinda, only when I read about relationships (not abusive or toxic ones, but the typic 'I want a partner' or a healthy relationship ends) like, I'm exhausted of people depending of others in a romantic sense, geez, not everything is about romance and you can live without it. But still I agree with you about that everyone has their own limits and reasons.

 

[Ginnn]

I understand you. It makes me sad to think that I am at the lowest of the lowest compared to others here

 

[onceuponadec]

No, sometimes you don't know the extent of someone else's problem. It's easier to think that the grass is greener on the other side but every problem comes with its own challenges and you'll never know how you react to them unless you go through them.

Do I wish I had an easier problem, yes, sometimes. However, I know that won't make it better. The situation will change, but my feelings won't. I'll still want to CBT. The reason will just change.

 

[wait.what]

You mean like if life was a role-playing game and we could switch character sheets? It's not something I've really thought about, but maybe. I guess what I usually see around here are people who have hit their limit in terms of their ability to cope, and that's what I react to, more than what's on some specific laundry list of problems.

Actually, some of the folks I'm gladdest that I'm not are people who had terrific lives until last week or last month or last year, when one critical misfortune or bad decision destroyed everything for them. They don't have the experience or the coping skills to deal with what's happened, and their anguish is unbelievable. If you only count their list of bad life experiences as their "problems," then switching lives might seem appealing. Like "perfect life except for getting a divorce" would sound like a great deal to some people. That sort of misses the point that the divorcing folks who show up here instead of at their local Parents Without Partners meetings actually have at least a couple of problems. Like getting a divorce, and also being totally unable to cope with rejection, or uncertainty, or loss of financial stability, or some combination thereof. So just because I might personally be able to deal with a spouse skipping out on me (never married, so not sure) doesn't mean that I'd cope any better with getting smacked with my own version of emotional kryptonite, whatever that happens to be.

So I mean yeah, occasionally I do read someone's story and think, "You want to ctb over that? Seriously?" But that sure doesn't mean it would feel any better to be them. I guess the trick would be to swap problems with somebody else while retaining your own current collection of coping skills and resiliencies. If someone figures out how to do that, give me a call. 'Cause have I got some trade-in deals for you!

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Absolutely. There are attractive cis women on this forum and I am jealous of them for being well.... cis and female. That doesn't mean I don't acknowledge that they have justified reasons for being here, but being that I am dysphoric as my reason for being here, yeah.....

 

[myownpetvirus]

You mean like if life was a role-playing game and we could switch character sheets? It's not something I've really thought about, but maybe. I guess what I usually see around here are people who have hit their limit in terms of their ability to cope, and that's what I react to, more than what's on some specific laundry list of problems.

Actually, some of the folks I'm gladdest that I'm not are people who had terrific lives until last week or last month or last year, when one critical misfortune or bad decision destroyed everything for them. They don't have the experience or the coping skills to deal with what's happened, and their anguish is unbelievable. If you only count their list of bad life experiences as their "problems," then switching lives might seem appealing. Like "perfect life except for getting a divorce" would sound like a great deal to some people. That sort of misses the point that the divorcing folks who show up here instead of at their local Parents Without Partners meetings actually have at least a couple of problems. Like getting a divorce, and also being totally unable to cope with rejection, or uncertainty, or loss of financial stability, or some combination thereof. So just because I might personally be able to deal with a spouse skipping out on me (never married, so not sure) doesn't mean that I'd cope any better with getting smacked with my own version of emotional kryptonite, whatever that happens to be.

So I mean yeah, occasionally I do read someone's story and think, "You want to ctb over that? Seriously?" But that sure doesn't mean it would feel any better to be them. I guess the trick would be to swap problems with somebody else while retaining your own current collection of coping skills and resiliencies. If someone figures out how to do that, give me a call. 'Cause have I got some trade-in deals for you!

That's exactly my situation I had something terrible happen 18 months ago and I had a good life before. I'm jealous of people that don't have it all taken away or perhaps we're always miserable

Absolutely. There are attractive cis women on this forum and I am jealous of them for being well.... cis and female. That doesn't mean I don't acknowledge that they have justified reasons for being here, but being that I am dysphoric as my reason for being here, yeah.....

I'm so sorry. My heart goes out to people with gender dysphoria. It sounds like a really terrible condition. I hope you find peace

 

[Simurgh]

I think it is how we handle problems that leads us here. The specific problem is irrelevant.

THIS

 

[GasMonkey]

"The problems of others are not enough to CTB but mine are" an absolute classic on suicide forums.

 

[LastFlowers]

I fully understand that everyone has their own limits and experiences and complex stories for why they are suicidal but does anyone else get super jealous when you hear other peoples reasons to ctb, even if you consciously know every experience is individual and there are many situations we will never understand unless we've been through them? It makes me increasingly bitter and disgusted with myself for being bitter when I hear certain problems that I feel like I would do anything even saw my own arm off to switch my problems for theirs. Anyone else deal with this?

Envious..well. Perhaps it's just knowing what I could or could not handle, especially if someone is on here with issues that are another secondary one I already experience(d) besides my main reasoning for needing to end my life.

It would be disingenuous to say I would not willingly, desperately and with fervor…trade my main circumstances with some of those spoken about on here. A lot of them.
(Though not everyone tells you their whole story so it's not always that easy to discern.)

I also don't think that all lead ups to suicide are the same or equal.
So someone could very well have something going on that would still eventually kill me,
however, maybe not with the same lead up or factors that add utter humiliation or excess misery in the form that I personally would not be able to stand.
You also have some people that are a lot more at peace with their decision, what or who they're leaving behind, their memory, their preparations..
Or maybe their life circumstances overall-or at some point-were just better and far more favorable in a manner that I would also so want to experience, even if the person's reason for wanting to die was understandable.
What I mean by this last part is that it might not even be that their reason for ending their life is "lesser" but that the things they did manage to get out of life while they were here is what's better and so clearly enviable.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Not really. I don't think having a different life with a different set of problems would make things easier for me- if I was still me... Any type of life with me in it seems to be the problem!

I do understand the viewpoint but at the same time- it's a kind of difficult one to even imagine fully. I suppose it depends on whether your problems are physical or mental illness or your general outlook. If a person is ill or the problem concerns their body eg. Dysphoria- then I can well see that they picture themselves happy in a healthy or different body.

Still- if a person can't separate themselves from their 'mental illness'- if it has BECOME their whole outlook and part of their personality- they can't imagine themselves being a different person- because then- they would be a different person! I don't know if that makes sense.

From reading an earlier post of yours- your depression seems to have onset at a certain age. (I'm sorry.) Some people here (me included) have likely felt this way for much longer- 32 years for me- since age 10. I can't really remember feeling any other way. Only as a child... A child wouldn't fair that well in any new (adult) life you gave it. So- I imagine people like me can't really think that swapping around life's problems would do much good. Changing me to reduce my own problems would likely make it so I don't even recognise myself anymore.

I fully admit that my set of circumstances are likely far easier than others on here but who knows? Maybe others also have it easier than me? I do understand your frustration but at the same time- peope don't always share EVERYTHING that has happened to them here.

I don't think you should be so hard on yourself either though. We are all individuals. We're bound not to be able to fully get our heads around everyone's motivation for being here. As long as we try- I think that's the main thing.

I don't think we can entirely stop our reactions to things but we can question our own response. Plus- if we feel tempted to write something that may hurt or undermine the OP- we can stop ourselves or try to phrase our response in such a way that is more supportive- or- not comment at all.

 

[botch3d]

I fully understand that everyone has their own limits and experiences and complex stories for why they are suicidal but does anyone else get super jealous when you hear other peoples reasons to ctb, even if you consciously know every experience is individual and there are many situations we will never understand unless we've been through them? It makes me increasingly bitter and disgusted with myself for being bitter when I hear certain problems that I feel like I would do anything even saw my own arm off to switch my problems for theirs. Anyone else deal with this?

I'd love to know what you're dealing with (what your problems are) let's hear them

 

[Darkover]

i know what you mean some people problems here seem to be of little importance i would certain swap my brain injury for a relationship breakup

 

[myownpetvirus]

i know what you mean some people problems here seem to be of little importance i would certain swap my brain injury for a relationship breakup

Same here or some minimal debt problem.

I'd love to know what you're dealing with (what your problems are) let's hear them

I have akathisia and depersonalization and horrible sleep problems from a medication I took that damaged my brain. Life is unbearable

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Yes. I don't think It's unfair to say not everyone here has had equally difficult lives. Even on here I feel like I come up short in many areas. But in a sense it doesn't matter what road you took if you land in the same place.

 

[Chronicillness]

When I come here I am engulfed by my own jealousy of the other members' problems here. What I wouldn't give to be in their situation. I don't know the ins-and-outs of their problems though.

 

[june]

Misery loves company