I'm going soon

[RunDown]

I took a break from SS in hopes that my condition would stabilize. I've been damaged by psych meds. My akasthisia is at a stage I never thought possible and is getting worse by the day. My spine feels like it's on fire. I can't sleep. I can't relax. I can't feel anything but pure discomfort and anxiety. I ordered a nitrogen tank that will arrive shortly. I'm very grateful for this site. I'd also be grateful for some words of support. I am scared. I feel alone. I have family around but they of course have no idea what I must do.

 

[cloud;.]

Whatever you decide I hope it brings you peace <3

 

[itsgone2]

@RunDown i understand completely. Lack of sleep alone is crushing. I wish you peace regardless of what happens.

 

[unluckysadness]

I understand what you feel because I must survive in a body which is in constant pain. I have spasms because of cervical dystonia and huge anxiety (these days I almost vomit and my entire body is contracted with huge tics). Last night I couldn't sleep well because too much overthinking. What must I do ? Surviving all these years is already a miracle, but it's not a life. When you're in a body you cannot control, it's pure hell. The only thing that makes sense for me is this forum. I wish you peace wathever you decide

 

[TBONTB]

I took a break from SS in hopes that my condition would stabilize. I've been damaged by psych meds. My akasthisia is at a stage I never thought possible and is getting worse by the day. My spine feels like it's on fire. I can't sleep. I can't relax. I can't feel anything but pure discomfort and anxiety. I ordered a nitrogen tank that will arrive shortly. I'm very grateful for this site. I'd also be grateful for some words of support. I am scared. I feel alone. I have family around but they of course have no idea what I must do.

I feel this. I want someone to be part of my journey, but it cannot be.

 

[idiotmother]

also damaged by psych meds and have a black kitty cat. I'm very sorry you are having to go through this and Akathisia is the absolute worst. None of the medical professionals or therapists understsnd how horrific it is, they gaslight and tell us to "tough it out" or "just try (blank). " It's so fucked up. Which meds did this to you?

 

[Flubber]

Ordering a N tank is one thing but have you got the gear to make it effective i.e. not infinitely more debilitating?

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

How'd you get a nitrogen tank? Are they shipping it to your door?

 

[FuneralCry]

It's so cruel to me how there's all this suffering in existing, it really sounds like you've suffered so much, I hope you find peace, I wish you the best.

 

[MissAbyss]

I'm really sorry to hear, I know how it feels.

I wish you peace in whatever decision you'll make. ️

 

[TBONTB]

My sorry you are suffering, and that you are suffering alone. I hope you can find some calmness and peace

 

[RunDown]

also damaged by psych meds and have a black kitty cat. I'm very sorry you are having to go through this and Akathisia is the absolute worst. None of the medical professionals or therapists understsnd how horrific it is, they gaslight and tell us to "tough it out" or "just try (blank). " It's so fucked up. Which meds did this to you?

Thanks for your response. I was prescribed Venlafaxine (effexor). I had a horrible reaction after just a week of taking it. I got serotonin syndrome. I almost died. I didn't mix it with anything else either. This happened about 15 months ago. I've never been the same since. It's like my soul was deleted and all that's left is relentless emptiness and frustration. My genitals are numb too. If hell exists, im in it. What meds damaged you?

Ordering a N tank is one thing but have you got the gear to make it effective i.e. not infinitely more debilitating?

Yes. Ive ordered a regulator and hose line. I picked up an oven bag and drawstring for my exit bag.

How'd you get a nitrogen tank? Are they shipping it to your door?

Ordered online. Yes it's being shipped.

 

[deaddollie]

chronic pain must be brutal, i hope you find peace