Venting I'm fucking tired of delaying my suicide

[Myton Python]

Excuse my horrible Grammer and my weird username, but everyday when I wake up I'm thinking of commiting suicide but yet it never happens because I'm always too distracted or feel like here is still couple more things left to do when it's all fucking worthless, I always watch videos of random YouTubers playing games or talking about their life stories, of them living in a life that I couldn't live in because I'm introverted and homeschooled, I have no friends, never in my life have I met a crush, and I suck ass at my speech, it's gotten to the point where I'm sometimes too socially awkward to talk to people online, how the fuck am I gonna get a job? How the fuck am I gonna get a girlfriend? How the fuck am I even gonna make any friends if I could barely talk because I'm that fucking stupid, I'm thinking of just killing myself after I take a shower and hoping nothing gets in my way, I was hoping to complete couple more things but I'm not waiting any longer, wish me luck.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

How are you planning on taking your life?

 

[Miscreated]

I have the same issue so I understand. I don't set dates for myself because it gives me too much pressure, but sometimes the situation is perfect and I'm in an impulsive mood, there's no one home, the note is ready and everything is perfect, and then I decide I should just delay it until some special occasion has passed, or I finish some chores, etc. I know that I don't need to do any of this and I could just ctb at any point if I wanted. I think it's just my SI keeping me here and my mind is just making excuses to stay

 

[James34]

Yeah that makes sense, the pressure so many young people go through in this world is astounding when we did nothing wrong to deserve it. I sometimes feel like ctb too but I worry about not having the right tools, not being able to succeed, being sent to a boardinghouse if you fail and are revived, the possibilities that go through my mind are truly endless.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand feeling so tired of existing here, to me existing truly is so dreadful, I wish you the best and I hope that you find the freedom you search for.

 

[アホペンギン]

I feel the same way as you, i was also homeschooled so i am very socially awkward. Every single day I wake up thinking about suicide and i fall asleep the same. I always worry about my future and i think that i might even fail suicide. What method will you consider using? I can maybe give some tips if i know any about the method you're gonna use.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

What's your method?