Venting IM FUCKING SICK OF THIS SHIT!

[wandafurudayz]

its so painful to live. my mother emotionally neglects me a lot so I feel alone all of the time. but I'm too scared to die. even though she upsets me a lot and hurts my feelings i still love her. whenever i try to talk about this with her, she makes me feel like imp playing victim. i always feel like I'm playing victim, and that I'm just faking it. that i don't have the gall to kill myself.
I've attempted more times than I can count. but it still feels like she doesn't take me seriously. about my trauma, about my eating disorder, about my Tourette's Syndrome, ABOUT ANY OF IT!!!!!
I'm so tired of being alone, disappointed, heart broken, and mistreated. I've been SA 'ed in the past multiple times, along with physical abuse. By my cousin, in school... so why does it feel so selfish to commit? I should have the right to leave this earth, after all what's happened! there's so much shit i cant even fucking remember it all!!! nor do i want to.
I cant CTB, I just cant! its so frustrating!!! i hate this, i hate being like this. Ever since my grandfather passed its been hell. its not fair!!!

I cant even cry! i cant yell, i cant scream, i cant show emotions! I want to scream at my mother, i want to argue with her, i want her to just fucking look at me!!!!!!!!! How do i get my mother to love me?

 

[N33dT0D13]

Your mother's failings shouldn't be your misery. I'm sorry you have to deal with all of this, you deserve better. The people around you have failed you.

 

[CatLvr]

I am so sorry your mother does you this way.

 

[AbusedInnocent]

I'm sorry to hear how your mother treats you, I really don't know why you still love her.

My mother is still looking for an excuse to kick me out of her life no matter how it affects me, I found it was best for me to just avoid her at all costs until I can move out.

It might be better to distance yourself from her, don't let her negative talk affect you.

How do i get my mother to love me?

I wouldn't count on that, you'll most likely be disappointed.

I love you though, as much as I am cynical I still love everyone who is innocent unless proven otherwise, you don't seem like the kind of person to harm anyone.

 

[FuneralCry]

That must be really dreadful, it's so cruel and terrible to me how people have to suffer in this existence all through no fault of their own, I'm sorry you suffer. But anyway best wishes.