NSFW I'm embarrased to post this, but I have to get it off my chest.

[JustAnotherSadMan]

I'm gonna use humor to get through this to make myself feel better and lighten up the post a bit. I am gonna spill my guts out on here because my therapist yaps through our sessions sometimes, so maybe I will delete this in the future. I am the opposite of what most most women in my country like, physically speaking. My height is 5'6, which is a bummer. This doesn't bother me nearly as much as it used to, but it hurts when combined with what I hate about my body the most, my dick is small(it's okay, you can laugh). I am not super fucked with a micropenis, but it's small enough that I am inferior to most of my competition in dating. I was unfortunately exposed to porn at a young age, and that habit has stuck. I am aware that porn warps your view of dating and relationships, but I think saying it doesn't matter is true. I am scared to try dating because almost every story online about women who get with someone who is small basically ends with something like "That was sad, maybe I'll have better luck next time." I think I am a decent looking, but the thought of being this disappointing to someone is overwhelming. I don't want to put in all the effort of courting someone I like just to be a disappointment to them. I want to be loved romantically, but I doubt I deserve it. If you made it to the end of my sob story, thanks for reading.

 

[ozymandias1]

There will be women out there who would like a guy with your body. It's just that most women, just as with most guys, conform to the idealised standards of beauty that we see. The people that aren't into those standards maybe less likely to publicly express that because it might be embarassing to admit. The social standards expected of us definitely exist but there are also regular people who just don't care about it too much. And we should all be doing what we can to break down those dumb standards.

 

[EmptyEater]

A megalopenis literally hurts more than it helps.
Learn to use what you have, most dudes are clueless so that's truly what puts people ahead of the curve. Learning anatomy hacks goes a long way.

Being an ultra Chad will only get you so far if you're insufferable to be with.

 

[deathwish]

Try dating sites and apps and include your measurements with good humor. No surprises and shows you're cool about it and still have a lot to offer. And remember: Lesbians have statistically better sex than hets so practice your mouth and finger game too and you will be fine.

 

[ForgottenAgain]

I imagine this was quite a hard thing to share, it's a very sensitive topic.

I don't know how the dating world is now, but from the perspective of a woman looking for a long term partner, the size of a man's penis has never even appeared on my top 10 of things I'm looking for in a man. It's not nearly as important as a lot of other things (e.g. kindness, sense of humour, common goals, etc).

Regaeding your issue, that fear and feeling of inferiority or maladjustment, can have serious psychological consequences that can be reflected during sex. If you feel you won't perform well, if you're afraid of disappointing your girlfriend, that may result in erectile dysfunction symptoms. If that happens once, then you're afraid it may happen again, and so you're more nervous and the cycle continues.

I would say, that the size doesn't really matter that much, unless it was very significantly abnormal to the point that it hinders you during sex. Like a micropenis, which you mentioned isn't the case. What can really hinder you, disappoint your girlfriend and more importantly damage your self esteem, is you thinking you're inferior, you being afraid that you won't perform well, to a level that your body can't relax and so your penis can't perform. A man's sense of masculinity is paramount to his mental health.

Regarding pornography, it really is not reality and it can and will change your perceptions of what is big, small, what is good sex, bad sex, what will arose you, etc. It can have long lasting damage, I'm talking years even when in a loving relationship. I sincerely recommend quitting pornography, not even for a future potential woman's sake, for your own self image and health sake. That doesn't mean you can't be arosed by other things and masturbate, you could read erotica, watch romance movies with more action on that regard or even just use your imagination. Whatever you decide, what matters is that the content is more close to reality.

I don't know where you live, but if you live in the UK and if you're looking for recovery regarding these matters, I may be able to recommend some services.

I just wanted to share this as this topic matters a lot to me and I don't want to see man suffering with this sort of thing. A good woman will fall in love with you for you, not for your penis. A good woman will also stand by your side even if things go wrong, even if you disappoint her sexually, because she loves you and wants to help you overcome your struggles.
People are not perfect, people have their own issues, no one is perfect and ready for a relationship from the get go.

 

[ozymandias1]

A man's sense of masculinity is paramount to his mental health.

Absolutely not. The idea that a man should conform to the standards of masculinity is the very root of his problems in the first place.

 

[ForgottenAgain]

Absolutely not. The idea that a man should conform to the standards of masculinity is the very root of his problems in the first place.

I'm sorry, that's not what I said. It doesn't need to conform to anything, what I said is that a man's sense of masculinity, feeling masculine, whatever that means for the man, is very important to his mental health. In the case of my post, lack of sexual performance can make a man feel less masculine which can affect his mental health greatly.

I hope this clears it up.

 

[ozymandias1]

It doesn't need to conform to anything, what I said is that a man's sense of masculinity, feeling masculine, whatever that means for the man, is very important to his mental health. In the case of my post, lack of sexual performance can make a man feel less masculine which can affect his mental health greatly.

Everything you just described IS conformity. The very idea of masculinity is a social standard deeply ingrained within society to the point that people are made to feel shitty for not conforming to that standard. The guy feels bad fundamentally because society wants and expects him to conform to the standards of masculinity but he can't because that isn't who he actually is. So the fault is not in him not conforming to those standards but in society having those standards in the first place. Masculinity and other standards are the problem.

 

[ForgottenAgain]

Everything you just described IS conformity. The very idea of masculinity is a social standard deeply ingrained within society to the point that people are made to feel shitty for not conforming to that standard. The guy feels bad fundamentally because society wants and expects him to conform to the standards of masculinity but he can't because that isn't who he actually is. So the fault is not in him not conforming to those standards but in society having those standards in the first place. Masculinity and other standards are the problem.

I'm sorry, I don't want to derail the conversation into a side topic. My response is about sexual performance, feeling less than, etc. If you read my whole post, the first one, I'm talking about health issues, psychological effects, this is not about society, standards or anyone else. I think this escalated because you picked one sentence and discussed it out of the context. I just meant to talk about how feeling like you're not enough, can make you worry and so you can't perform, you feel bad, and that cycle continues. I mentioned sense of masculinity related to that since we're talking about penis and sex.
Feel free to DM me if you wish, I just don't want to engage in a back and forth and take the attention away from OP's post.

 

[ozymandias1]

If you read my whole post, the first one, I'm talking about health issues, psychological effects, this is not about society, standards or anyone else. I think this escalated because you picked one sentence and discussed it out of the context. I just meant to talk about how feeling like you're not enough,

No, I'm pointing out how you're normalising these expected standards. You did imply that OP would benefit from conforming to these standards. It was layered all throughout your reply but I only highlighted one sentence in order to make the reply simpler. That was the advice you gave. And that is, unfortunately, common advice. I'm not calling you out or anything but I'm just highlighting that the idea that people need to conform to gender is so deeply ingrained in society and it's actually the problem, not the solution. Men benefit from "feeling masculine" because society will treat them better, not because it's actually healthy. Having to feel masculine in order to feel fulfilled is the problem.

Feel free to DM me if you wish, I just don't want to engage in a back and forth and take the attention away from OP's post.

I think it's what OP needs to hear. They need to understand that it's okay to be themselves without feeling that they must conform rather than adopting the philosophy that they must appease society and conform in order to feel better.

 

[ForgottenAgain]

No, I'm pointing out how you're normalising these expected standards. You did imply that OP would benefit from conforming to these standards. It was layered all throughout your reply but I only highlighted one sentence in order to make the reply simpler. That was the advice you gave. And that is, unfortunately, common advice. I'm not calling you out or anything but I'm just highlighting that the idea that people need to conform to gender is so deeply ingrained in society and it's actually the problem, not the solution. Men benefit from "feeling masculine" because society will treat them better, not because it's actually healthy. Having to feel masculine in order to feel fulfilled is the problem.

I think it's what OP needs to hear. They need to understand that it's okay to be themselves without feeling that they must conform rather than adopting the philosophy that they must appease society and conform in order to feel better.

But I didn't do any of that... I'm now regretting just having commented on this thread. My reply to OP's comment was very caring and focused on the importance of feeling good about himself, not worrying too much, pornography, etc. I feel like you picked 1 sentence and just entered a completely different tangent which doesn't reflect what I think nor what I said.

I'm feeling quite defeated now as I've tried countless times to showcase my point but you're still putting words in my mouth that I didn't say. I won't engage any longer. If you feel like you have a message to the OP, please feel free to reply to him, just don't engage more with me please. Today I really can't take it, I'm sorry, just please let me be.

 

[ozymandias1]

I'm feeling quite defeated now as I've tried countless times to showcase my point but you're still putting words in my mouth that I didn't say. I won't engage any longer. If you feel like you have a message to the OP, please feel free to reply to him, just don't engage more with me please. Today I really can't take it, I'm sorry, just please let me be.

Maybe I'm not interpeting it correctly or maybe you just don't realise that you're doing. These standards become so internalised and normalised to the point of being invisible to the average person. But I'm not "putting words in your mouth". That's not what I do. If you really want, I can highlight the exact thing you said and tell you in more detail what I inferred from it. If you don't want to me to engage, then don't reply with another argument.

 

[EmptyEater]

Absolutely not. The idea that a man should conform to the standards of masculinity is the very root of his problems in the first place.

Learning to not give a fuck about confirming to unreasonable bullshit is quite liberating.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Absolutely not. The idea that a man should conform to the standards of masculinity is the very root of his problems in the first place.

Honestly, masculinity is a bullshit concept all around. Same with femininity.

Also, OP, you shouldn't feel bad about your penis size. Even what is considered to be the preferred penis size is arbitrary. If I remember correctly, I'm pretty sure Ancient Greek male beauty standards generally held smaller penises on a pedestal, with smaller penises being viewed as a sign of civility and virtue. Meanwhile, larger penises were seen as vulgar and were associated with barbarians.

People love to shame others for not fitting certain social standards, but what are those standards outside of random shit that we choose to conform to as a society and that change over time? They in no way reflect your worth as a human being. I understand that things, such as your height and the size of your genitals, make you scared when it comes to dating but anyone who would dump you just because of the size of your genitals isn't the type of person who loved you in the first place. There are people out there who aren't vain and who don't prioritize things like penis size.

 

[Goosechan]

As I woman, I've rarely, probably never seen something in porn that seemed appealing to me to try in real life. Sure porn can be hot and can get me aroused, but it couldn't be further from ideal intimacy and intercourse for me. I know this is just a single anecdote, but I hope it gives a little perspective.

 

[painfree]

In regards to the original post, I'm sorry you feel that way, you definitely should not be so hard on yourself. I've been alone for over a decade, due to my own wrong choices, and when I get discouraged I look around and it reminds just how different everyone in the world is. Such an array of people who find their match no matter the physical differences. And I can vouch for the fact size is not a factor for everyone. Honestly (now I blush) only thing I've had is my daydreaming and you just need to know your partner's body. Like another commenter said, apparently lesbians do have great sex

 

[mrpeter]

Try dating sites and apps and include your measurements with good humor. No surprises and shows you're cool about it and still have a lot to offer. And remember: Lesbians have statistically better sex than hets so practice your mouth and finger game too and you will be fine.

dating apps are useless

I'm gonna use humor to get through this to make myself feel better and lighten up the post a bit. I am gonna spill my guts out on here because my therapist yaps through our sessions sometimes, so maybe I will delete this in the future. I am the opposite of what most most women in my country like, physically speaking. My height is 5'6, which is a bummer. This doesn't bother me nearly as much as it used to, but it hurts when combined with what I hate about my body the most, my dick is small(it's okay, you can laugh). I am not super fucked with a micropenis, but it's small enough that I am inferior to most of my competition in dating. I was unfortunately exposed to porn at a young age, and that habit has stuck. I am aware that porn warps your view of dating and relationships, but I think saying it doesn't matter is true. I am scared to try dating because almost every story online about women who get with someone who is small basically ends with something like "That was sad, maybe I'll have better luck next time." I think I am a decent looking, but the thought of being this disappointing to someone is overwhelming. I don't want to put in all the effort of courting someone I like just to be a disappointment to them. I want to be loved romantically, but I doubt I deserve it. If you made it to the end of my sob story, thanks for reading.

Penis Enlargement Surgery: How It Works, Pros & Cons

Penis size is a concern for some people. They may ask for surgery to make their penis bigger.

my.clevelandclinic.org

 

[maniac116]

I'm sorry you're so stressed about your situation.
Don't let society dictate (yes, pun intended!) what's normal or abnormal. It takes a penis to be a male. It doesn't matter what your size is!
There are women out there for you no matter what size you are.
We have a way of shaming people for who they are & it's wrong & disgusting.
Be the perfect you!!!

 

[BornByGhosts]

I'm gonna use humor to get through this

cool.

how long is your tongue

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Sad how the only form of encouragement for small penises is that there are women out there who simply don't care. As a small penis haver myself I'd much rather it be seen as a positive attribute even though I know there's literally no good reason for anyone to appreciate it. There are men who glorify flat chests and even flat buttocks in women but I've yet to see a single case of a woman who claims she vastly prefers smaller penises (like 1-4 inches) over bigger or even average ones. The best they can do is say they don't care either way or that average is good enough for them but they'll never seem to be willing to appreciate a member just because it is small. I don't blame women for not having any good reason to be attracted to smaller than average penises though, there just doesn't seem to be any good reason they should even care. What's worse is that literally everything bad that you do then gets tied to "small dick energy" or something like that where now every mistake you make has to be tied to the size you have and no amount of accepting it will make a difference. Every argument you are in gives your opponent a free ad hominem attack that is impossible to refute and that's really what sucks about it all.

 

[NegevChina]

I'm gonna use humor to get through this to make myself feel better and lighten up the post a bit. I am gonna spill my guts out on here because my therapist yaps through our sessions sometimes, so maybe I will delete this in the future. I am the opposite of what most most women in my country like, physically speaking. My height is 5'6, which is a bummer. This doesn't bother me nearly as much as it used to, but it hurts when combined with what I hate about my body the most, my dick is small(it's okay, you can laugh). I am not super fucked with a micropenis, but it's small enough that I am inferior to most of my competition in dating. I was unfortunately exposed to porn at a young age, and that habit has stuck. I am aware that porn warps your view of dating and relationships, but I think saying it doesn't matter is true. I am scared to try dating because almost every story online about women who get with someone who is small basically ends with something like "That was sad, maybe I'll have better luck next time." I think I am a decent looking, but the thought of being this disappointing to someone is overwhelming. I don't want to put in all the effort of courting someone I like just to be a disappointment to them. I want to be loved romantically, but I doubt I deserve it. If you made it to the end of my sob story, thanks for reading.

Sorry you feel this way. I think you should not give up. I mean there are people that date partners that are not perfect, like handy caped or injured people with amputations, most people aren't perfect. I'm not saying that is your condition, but definitely keep trying and find a woman that likes you the way you are. Also most women out there do not look like porn stars so I think you need to check what are your expectations and if they are to high than it might be a good idea to work on your self a bit. If you only want to date the most unresistible woman on the planet than like any other regular man your setting yourself for disappointment. I think that if a woman wants you the way you are, thats what makes her beautiful to you.

 

[Marco77]

I understand the frustration. This must be very painful for you. I wish you the best.

 

[ihavebeendone]

I feel you bro. I am not trying to one up you at all and sorry if I come off like that, but I am kinda in the same boat. I'm a trans man so I'm also short and obviously have no dick. I don't really have tips but I just wanted to say you're not alone. I, and many other people, are also on this forum because of similar issues. It doesn't justify your suffering though, and I'm sorry for you because nobody should have to live in a body they hate.

Regarding the posts you said you've read about women who've had bad experiences with small guys, maybe it helps to remember that people are way more likely to post bad experiences than good ones. There's definitely lots of women not bothered by it but they just don't post about it. Even the posts you've seen are probably mostly short term relationships, where the woman was just looking for quick satisfaction. A long term girlfriend or wife will be focused on other things. Anyway, I hope you find the woman of your dreams bro.

 

[JustAnotherSadMan]

I'm sorry you're so stressed about your situation.
Don't let society dictate (yes, pun intended!) what's normal or abnormal. It takes a penis to be a male. It doesn't matter what your size is!
There are women out there for you no matter what size you are.
We have a way of shaming people for who they are & it's wrong & disgusting.
Be the perfect you!!!

I always appreciate a good pun, thank you

 

[lnlybnny]

I know it's a deeper issue but as a woman I think size is so overrated, what matters most is what you can do with what you have

 

[JustAnotherSadMan]

I imagine this was quite a hard thing to share, it's a very sensitive topic.

I don't know how the dating world is now, but from the perspective of a woman looking for a long term partner, the size of a man's penis has never even appeared on my top 10 of things I'm looking for in a man. It's not nearly as important as a lot of other things (e.g. kindness, sense of humour, common goals, etc).

Regaeding your issue, that fear and feeling of inferiority or maladjustment, can have serious psychological consequences that can be reflected during sex. If you feel you won't perform well, if you're afraid of disappointing your girlfriend, that may result in erectile dysfunction symptoms. If that happens once, then you're afraid it may happen again, and so you're more nervous and the cycle continues.

I would say, that the size doesn't really matter that much, unless it was very significantly abnormal to the point that it hinders you during sex. Like a micropenis, which you mentioned isn't the case. What can really hinder you, disappoint your girlfriend and more importantly damage your self esteem, is you thinking you're inferior, you being afraid that you won't perform well, to a level that your body can't relax and so your penis can't perform. A man's sense of masculinity is paramount to his mental health.

Regarding pornography, it really is not reality and it can and will change your perceptions of what is big, small, what is good sex, bad sex, what will arose you, etc. It can have long lasting damage, I'm talking years even when in a loving relationship. I sincerely recommend quitting pornography, not even for a future potential woman's sake, for your own self image and health sake. That doesn't mean you can't be arosed by other things and masturbate, you could read erotica, watch romance movies with more action on that regard or even just use your imagination. Whatever you decide, what matters is that the content is more close to reality.

I don't know where you live, but if you live in the UK and if you're looking for recovery regarding these matters, I may be able to recommend some services.

I just wanted to share this as this topic matters a lot to me and I don't want to see man suffering with this sort of thing. A good woman will fall in love with you for you, not for your penis. A good woman will also stand by your side even if things go wrong, even if you disappoint her sexually, because she loves you and wants to help you overcome your struggles.
People are not perfect, people have their own issues, no one is perfect and ready for a relationship from the get go.

Thank you for this. You made very good points. I agree that a man who isn't confident in him or his masculinity (or maybe more feminine qualities, not my place to judge), is going to have a rough time mentally. I have never been confident in myself, and mental health has been shit since I was little. I am probably one of the most fucked people in the world in regard to the long term usage and affects of porn. I am 24, and I have been looking at porn pretty regularly since I was 10. If I was in a situation where my partner loves me but isn't satisfied with me sexually, I would most likely either intentionally sabotage the relationship or just CTB because I'd rather be alone than with someone I can not please.

 

[RiverOfLife]

A woman with vaginismus would probably prefer a guy with a small dick. How you could find each other is a different question.
And you are unlikely to find too many women posting about the great time they had with undersized guys, because, well, a lot of those men would not want it broadcast to the world even in a complimentary fashion. And a happy woman would respect that.

 

[UnrulyNightmare]

I'm sorry it's bothering you so much! It's never nice to dislike your own body!

I'm gonna be honest here, because if I can tell people I'm suicidal, I sure as hell can tell them I prefer smaller dicks xD

Been with guys so proud of their very sizeable assets and I was not impressed. Hurts and/or uncomfortable. Give me normal or smaller sized any day, and then like has been said before, by someone who knows what they are doing or are willing to figure it out together.

Never be ashamed of your size.
Learn or be willing to learn how to please your partner and enjoy it yourself as well is so much more important.

Also sorry about your therapist yapping through your sessions

 

[JustAnotherSadMan]

Sorry you feel this way. I think you should not give up. I mean there are people that date partners that are not perfect, like handy caped or injured people with amputations, most people aren't perfect. I'm not saying that is your condition, but definitely keep trying and find a woman that likes you the way you are. Also most women out there do not look like porn stars so I think you need to check what are your expectations and if they are to high than it might be a good idea to work on your self a bit. If you only want to date the most unresistible woman on the planet than like any other regular man your setting yourself for disappointment. I think that if a woman wants you the way you are, thats what makes her beautiful to you.

Funny coincidence about you mentioning disabilities because I am disabled. I do not have very high standards, I'm shy and lack confidence

I'm sorry it's bothering you so much! It's never nice to dislike your own body!

I'm gonna be honest here, because if I can tell people I'm suicidal, I sure as hell can tell them I prefer smaller dicks xD

Been with guys so proud of their very sizeable assets and I was not impressed. Hurts and/or uncomfortable. Give me normal or smaller sized any day, and then like has been said before, by someone who knows what they are doing or are willing to figure it out together.

Never be ashamed of your size.
Learn or be willing to learn how to please your partner and enjoy it yourself as well is so much more important.

Also sorry about your therapist yapping through your sessions

I definitely believe that some women are okay with or even like smaller ones, I just gotta find someone.

cool.

how long is your tongue

Normal tongue length, I think

I'm sorry it's bothering you so much! It's never nice to dislike your own body!

I'm gonna be honest here, because if I can tell people I'm suicidal, I sure as hell can tell them I prefer smaller dicks xD

Been with guys so proud of their very sizeable assets and I was not impressed. Hurts and/or uncomfortable. Give me normal or smaller sized any day, and then like has been said before, by someone who knows what they are doing or are willing to figure it out together.

Never be ashamed of your size.
Learn or be willing to learn how to please your partner and enjoy it yourself as well is so much more important.

Also sorry about your therapist yapping through your sessions

I definitely believe that some women are okay with or even like smaller ones, I just gotta find someone.

Sad how the only form of encouragement for small penises is that there are women out there who simply don't care. As a small penis haver myself I'd much rather it be seen as a positive attribute even though I know there's literally no good reason for anyone to appreciate it. There are men who glorify flat chests and even flat buttocks in women but I've yet to see a single case of a woman who claims she vastly prefers smaller penises (like 1-4 inches) over bigger or even average ones. The best they can do is say they don't care either way or that average is good enough for them but they'll never seem to be willing to appreciate a member just because it is small. I don't blame women for not having any good reason to be attracted to smaller than average penises though, there just doesn't seem to be any good reason they should even care. What's worse is that literally everything bad that you do then gets tied to "small dick energy" or something like that where now every mistake you make has to be tied to the size you have and no amount of accepting it will make a difference. Every argument you are in gives your opponent a free ad hominem attack that is impossible to refute and that's really what sucks about it all.

I have thought pretty much everything you said, but I am trying to delude myself with the thought that there is hope. I have seen one woman, an OF lady who calls herself a "Small Dick Lover". Can confirm, her bf has a small one and he beats her shit up crazy

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I have thought pretty much everything you said, but I am trying to delude myself with the thought that there is hope. I have seen one woman, an OF lady who calls herself a "Small Dick Lover". Can confirm, her bf has a small one and he beats her shit up crazy

That might be a good place to start, is by learning from that guy.