Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
My wife left me some months ago and I totally understand this pain.
At first I started drinking and taking opioid pills to numb the anxiety and pain, but my budget ran out, I got sick and had to stop once my family, who helped me move apartment, found a vodka bottle, lol. I also bought SN though. Unfortunately I had to throw it because my family was asking about it when they helped me move. I told them it was just old expired flavor enhancer, lol. But I'm sort of glad I didn't get to impulsively drink it because I never tested whether it was pure SN. It might have ended badly.
Currently what keeps me going is that my wife still wants to meet up with me soon, snd reading posts in this site and researching ctb methods. But otherwise I also see no future or purpose for my life, since I will be back to the loneliness of my teen years and early twenties before I met her, and I dread that. Meeting a new woman is also out of the question, I only ever loved my wife and only want to love her.